So, like, a hundred million years ago, I entered a contest held by Slynnro. And the most amazing thing happened: I won! This was very exciting for me, because I never win anything. Well, I won a copy of Home Alone on video and a Home Alone Gameboy game from a teen magazine in 1991, I guess, but that doesn't really count, because they never actually sent me the Home Alone Gameboy game in the end, just the copy of Home Alone on video. I was robbed, I tell you! I wonder what part of my delicate 11-year-old character was fundamentally flawed for evermore by that terrible and haunting disappointment.
Slynnro's prize, incidentally, was way more awesome than a Home Alone video and/or a Home Alone Gameboy game; it was a really delicate and beautiful necklace from Lulu's, which she chose especially for me after I'd won the contest, and which I have since worn eighty thousand times between now and when she sent it to me because it goes with everything in my closet. How did she pick out something so perfect for me, that's what I'd like to know. It's almost like she'd read about my life on the Internet or something! Oh, wait. Oh, never mind.
So the point I'm trying to get to here---and why this story about me winning the contest is relevant to you---is that this contest was a pass-it-on, pay-it-forward sort of thing; you know, where you win a prize and then you return the good karma or the excellent juju or whatever and hold your own contest to give away a prize yourself. It took me ages and ages and ages to think of a prize---could I FedEx the winner a homemade Shepherd's Pie? With a separate UPS delivery of gravy?---but then I had a super-duper excellent brainwave of an idea. So here it is. I hope you're ready. I hope you're ready to win!
Remember how I told you about my Nintendo party back in July? And how I've been playing my Nintendo DS Lite non-stop since then, and how now I'm sort of mildly addicted to the game Brain Age, but that's okay because it's only supposed to make you smarter so it's, like, totally an excuse for playing it three hours a night when you should have been making dinner and organizing your sock drawer and paying the rent instead? Remember how I told you that?
Well, did you ever think "wow, I wish I had a DS Lite too"?
Because if you did, I have some news for you, news that is---if you can believe it---even better than the fact that The Office comes back to NBC in two and a half very short weeks (OMG JIM AND PAM OMG.) The fine folks behind my Nintendo party have offered to give a Nintendo DS Lite and a copy of Brain Age to one of my readers!
And let me tell you, YOU WANT THIS THING. You might not be familiar with a DS Lite, but trust me, you want it. It's kind of like a Wii you can put in your pocket and play on the train! Honestly, go read about it and then tell me you don't want one. Eh, whatever, I won't believe you anyway.
So here's what we're going to do. If you'd like to enter the drawing for the free Nintendo DS Lite and a copy of Brain Age---the DS Lite will be black, by the way, which is the color I have, and I will share with you that it is very sleek and shiny and also makes you look very fancy and important when you are in public places---just leave a comment below. What should you say in your comment? Well, good question. This is where it gets interesting.
I'd like to know your middle name. Why your middle name? Well, because I figure that's a pretty easy thing for you to tell me. (I mean, unless it's, like, Gertrudinadette or something, in which case, dude, I totally understand why you'd want to keep your mouth shut on that one. That is a CROSS TO BEAR.) By just telling me your middle name, you see, you don't have to construct an elaborate answer or anything---save those brain cells for playing Brain Age!---and you can pretty much enter the competition just by existing. (And if you don't have a middle name? Uh, just make one up. Tell me what you wish your middle name had been.)
I'll keep the contest open until Monday night---hey, maybe there's time to call your parents and get them to give you a middle name, after all!---and then on Monday night I'll close it up and put all the numbers in a hat, and then I'll draw one of the numbers out of a hat ON VIDEO and that person will be the winner. I was going to try and get someone famous and awesome to do the drawing-numbers-out-of-a-hat bit, just to make it really exciting, but apparently I don't know enough famous and awesome people. Or, uh, any, really. I mean, I can call Brad Pitt and see if he's free, I guess, but if he's not, it might just be me on the video wearing some fake eyebrows or something. (No, really, don't laugh, I actually have a pair of fake eyebrows. They come in handy sometimes. You may see them soon enough.)
Good luck! Good luck! I really hope you enter. And I swear to god, if you win, I will totally send you your prize. Like, immediately. The eleven year old in me still isn't over the trauma of having that Home Alone Gameboy game so cruelly whipped out from beneath my nose after I'd won it fair and square, so trust me, I've totally got your back on that.
Now let's play! What's your middle name?
(Mine is Angelika, by the way, just so we're on a level playing field. It's pronounced An-gay-lik-ah, not An-jel-ik-ah, and it was the name of my father's grandma on his mother's side: my great-grandmother. Needless to say, she was German. I didn't like it for, ooh, about 26 years, I think, and then one day I suddenly just loved it.)