The Day I Officially Became A Midwesterner

Along with the Henry Ford museum and the Heidelberg project, one of the things I really wanted to do in Detroit was try a real jello salad. You know the kind: "salad" is a total misnomer since they're 98 percent gelatin, and they make frequent appearances at family reunions, where nobody but the kids really eats them. If you're lucky, they're topped with whipped cream from the can.

Well, Melissa Summers' husband is a man of action. You tell him you've never had jello salad before---that it is, in fact, a not-yet-realized dream on your Great Michigan Checklist---and the man immediately hops into the car, drives to the grocery store, and makes it his mission to return with a perfect wobbling strawberry confection for you to sample. Move over, Oprah: Logan Summers makes wishes come true.

The Great Jello Salad Dream Fulfilled from Holly on Vimeo.

(Still hungry? The jello salad looks particularly lurid here.)

1
whoorl
Nov 19, 2007

That was just beautiful, Holly.

2
ash
Nov 19, 2007

as someone from wisconsin, i welcome you to the midwest.

3
Kristin
Nov 19, 2007

I think this is just a testament to your charisma, Holly - no one else I know (or don't know in this case) could make eating Jello salad that entertaining!

4
Kristin
Nov 19, 2007

P.S. Did you read in the AP headlines today that Detroit just overtook St. Louis as the country's most dangerous city?

5
barbie2be
Nov 19, 2007

um... EIW! jello salad? blech.

6
tiff
Nov 19, 2007

oh, Jello salad, one of the healthiest potluck dishes you'll find (end sarcasm). I didn't know that was a midwest thing!

7
Gretchen
Nov 19, 2007

You are brave, and also perverse, to actually ingest that shit. Me, I'm mortally afraid of jello salad as the result of a thousand potlucks and cookouts on the East Coast during my childhood. It's the way it MOVES that freaks me out.

8
andrea_jennine
Nov 19, 2007

To take it to the next level, you need to add a buttery pretzel crust to that strawberry jello concoction. That's a Midwest "salad"!

9
Ree
Nov 19, 2007

Excuse me, but were there bananas in there? If it's not green and filled with bananas, I don't think it counts ;-)

10
rosalicious
Nov 19, 2007

I particularly love the flash of the jello salad paparazzi. Awesome.

11
Sheila
Nov 19, 2007

Having started with the fruity flavor, you may now be ready to move up to The Serious Jello Salad: lime-flavored Jello with carrot shavings in it. Aww, yeah.

Was it just me, or did you take on a bit of a Midwestern twang whilst you were here? You sound decidedly not British on the video.. I blame the Jello. Or the Summerses.

12
aBd libbing
Nov 19, 2007

Was that first "Mmmm" actually genuine, or just your ingrained British politeness coming through? Because let me just say, that looked VILE.

13
natalie 42
Nov 19, 2007

LoL, Well thats too funny. Thats exactly my reaction when i feel I need to eat my grandmother's jello salad, you know, b/c I don't want my grandmother feeling awful about no one eating her jello salad. Its sort of this "...okaaay!! not so baaaad!....its chunky-ish...and odd." sort of feeling.

14
Liz M
Nov 19, 2007

I'm from the south and not the midwest, but I've conferred with my midwestern in-laws on this: any "salad" without mayonnaise is not a salad.

15
zan
Nov 19, 2007

You'll be saying "pop" and crimping your hair in no time. One of us, one of us...

16
chirky
Nov 19, 2007

Wait - people put MAYO on those things? That's nasty.

17
Jane
Nov 19, 2007

Actually, after marrying a Wisconsinite I learned that there are 2 kinds of jello salads: pink stuff and green stuff. Holly obviously had the pink stuff, but Ree, I think she needs to have the green stuff to compare!

18
Linda
Nov 19, 2007

Strange inspiration (i.e., sacrilege), with apologies to Mr. Cummings.

no time ago
or else a life
walking in the Midwest
i met my first jello salad

jesus!) my spoon
dove under
then lay still
while it wobbled(as

close as i'm to you
yes closer
made of nothing
except gelatin

19
Nothing But Bonfires
Nov 19, 2007

Actually, I'm not sure I could have faced the green stuff. At least pink is pretty.

20
Linda
Nov 19, 2007

P.S. I second the comment about your charisma. You're one of the few people who can make jello salad seem like a "do." Still on the list of "don'ts": ambrosia and aspic.

21
Suzanne
Nov 19, 2007

The paparazzi action was definitely hilarious! Can't anyone eat a jello salad in peace anymore? ;)

22
Carol Snider
Nov 19, 2007

You're as adorable as we all envision! (Notice that I spoke for your ENTIRE fan club?!)

Carol

23
Laura
Nov 19, 2007

Hmmmmmm. Is that a Sierra Nevada Pale Ale you're drinking? Because I would have totally paired jello salad with a Budweiser or maybe even a Coors Light. :-)

24
Nothing But Bonfires
Nov 19, 2007

Yes, it IS a Sierra Nevada Pale Ale! It made the jello salad slip down just that little bit easier.

25
holly
Nov 19, 2007

I kid you not I have a recipe for a totally fierce and delicious jello salad -- and I'm Californian through and through (though coincidentally I was born in Detroit). It does NOT involve mayo but it does involve pretzels and raspberries. I know that sounds scary but if the jello-salad adventure bug ever bites again, let me know.

26
Sunset~Lover
Nov 19, 2007

My mom is definately not from the midwest, yet she does come up with that jello salad every once in awhile...but she doesn't call it that. But we beg her to "forget" and "lose" that recipe!!!

(I personally think she likes to see it wiggle and jiggle. I think it reminds her of her childhood - but at our expense of the taste!)

27
Allie
Nov 20, 2007

I've seen a million jello salads at potlucks and cookouts, and each time looked away before determining their contents...because, jello + chunks = ew. Having said that, I've spent the last few minutes reading the comments and giggling, "no, surely not. Mayonaise? Pretzels? ...no..."

Holly Burns, you are now on my list of Officially Awesome People, because you managed to eat that "salad" with a smile. :)

28
metalia
Nov 20, 2007

HAAAA. That is all.

29
Maya
Nov 20, 2007

Ooohhh you are brave. Having suffered through enough "Ambrosia" salad to last me a lifetime as a kid (apparently I live in a pocket of Southern California where this still pops up from time to time, or at least it used to), I feel your bemused pain.

I agree with Sheila (although I wouldn't say you sounded Midwestern, just Californian): You do sound decidedly *less* British than the voice in my head, which is a cheery sort of girls' guide leader voice with some cute American words thrown in. (Don't ask me why this is, am totally not sure). Also? The haircut is SO! CUTE!

Thanks to the Summers for the fun and videoing.

PS Real quick: Just wanted to give you a heads up that I linked you twice in my most recent post (not that it signifies in and of itself) and you might like to know I refer to you as the one "gifted with eloquence and a proper English degree".

Just wanted to say that it's a) for a really good cause, despite being written on the fly and none too carefully edited and b) if you have any ideas on how to get this kid some help, I would LOVE to hear them. Thanks so much,

Maya
www.chocklate2.wordpress.com (Entry: "Senseless")

30
kat
Nov 20, 2007

oh no. jello salad is one thing. but reverting to saying "pop" when the true word is soda is another thing.

31
Heidi
Nov 20, 2007

Ok....my best friend (Louise) and I just watched your video, and well...the funny thing is that we have read your 'About Me' section and when you listed at the top of it that you have a British accent, we both thought it would be much more accentuated than what it is.....great little video. Very cute.....
Always
Heidi

32
Kristin
Nov 20, 2007

You could be a sportscaster or better yet, the So You Think You Can Dance Lady. You have that sparkly camera mastery happening.

Also, that jello salad looks like ass. I couldn't have done it.

33
Heather B.
Nov 20, 2007

You make jello salad look damn good, Holly Burns.

34
Susie
Nov 20, 2007

Ewwww what is jello salad? I don't understand! Is it just jello and ice cream, because that sounds nice! Or is it like something else that's really disgusting? That sort of looks like round wobbly steak?

35
Scarlett
Nov 20, 2007

This was totally cute. I also third the sentiments about your accent. It's very mild but still adorable.

And yes... jello salad is a thing with my family as well. We have a certain Cranberry Delight that is a holiday staple, complete with coolwhip, jello, and chunks like marshmellows, pineapple, cranberries, and pecans.

At least ours does not include mayo or lettuce!

36
superblondgirl
Nov 20, 2007

The really good ones are the kind with the Cool-Whip mixed in and all that. They're nasty and yet oddly compelling...
I always forget how cute your accent is!

37
DM
Nov 20, 2007

There's something made with pistachio pudding & cottage cheese. Oh and pineapple! Yummy, yummy pineapple. It's very weird but good.

Have you had tater tot hot dish yet? That's the best. Welcome to the Midwest. We might try to kill you with the odd food. Do not, under any circumstances, eat lutefisk. That's just wrong. Anything that lists lye as an ingrediant should be avoided!

38
gina in sc
Nov 20, 2007

ok. holly. for real. i cannot wait for bachelor tuesday and to get your take on the whole thing. ug. hurry. post. quick. lol. xo

39
House of Jules
Nov 21, 2007

Nothing better than jello salad & beer! (just kidding)
Jules
House of Jules

40
Y
Nov 21, 2007

This makes me miss you.

When are you coming to visit ME?

41
paula in ohio
Nov 21, 2007

I, too, expected a more distinct British accent. It's still adorable though! My mom (who was born in Iowa) always made a lime jello salad that had pineapple tid bits and little balls of cream cheese with chopped pecans. Was quite yummers, actually.

I now live in Ohio (after being raised in Texas... Daddy was in oil, so we moved around a lot) and don't see jello salads all that often. Hmmmm... maybe I'm not in the right part of the Midwest.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!