Feb
05
2014

Sleeping In Seattle

 

Hello from Seattle, where it is currently really, really, really cold. No, I mean really cold. Like, think of the coldest thing you can think of right now—a milkshake with ice cubes in it, the Arctic tundra, Paris Hilton's heart—and multiply that by a hundred and four, and that is how cold it is here. I just walked seven blocks back from my office and by the time I pushed open the doors of the hotel lobby, I couldn't feel most of my extremities, and I was wearing gloves, a hat, and a coat that kept me pretty toasty in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. In November. I mean, come on. 

On the upside, here is the view from my office, which could not possibly be more beautifully Seattle-ish.

Okay, wait, maybe it could be a tiny bit more beautifully Seattle-ish, but only if it had Frasier Crane somewhere in the left hand of the frame. Holding a cup of coffee. Next to McDreamy. 

(Is McDreamy still a thing? Do people still watch Grey's Anatomy? I remember the last time I visited Seattle, I was obsessed with the show and kept thinking I saw Meredith everywhere, but I must confess that I stopped watching several years ago and now I have no idea what the residents of Seattle Grace are up to anymore. Although presumably the same five people are still getting together and breaking up in various combinations.)

As well as not realizing that it was going to be this cold in Seattle—I mean, it's not like I have a weather app on my phone or anything; it's not like I could have looked it up (I could have looked it up)—I also did not realize that I was going to be arriving in the city on the day of a major parade. Why was there a major parade in Seattle today? Well, if you just asked yourself that question, you're in good company, because I did not know either. This is because the parade was to celebrate the winning of the Superbowl, but because the Superbowl is a sporting event and my brain shuts off at the phrase "sporting event" somewhere around "spor—", I kind of didn't really pay it any attention until the hotel check-in person said "wow, lot of people out there for the parade, huh?" and I said "oh, there's a parade today? For what?" and then I was actually asked to leave the United States of America immediately for unpatriotic conduct and also my husband texted me and asked for a divorce. 

(Whatever. Talk to me when there's a parade for the Oscars. Oh wait, there is! It's Live From the Red Carpet on E! and I have the time and date of it written down in my planner. Look, I'm sorry, we all have our passions. Yours might be football but mine is marveling at what a good job that boob tape is doing at holding everything in.) 

I am going to finish this now because I have one-quarter of The Goldfinch left to read—I have been dragging it out for an entire month because I never want to not be reading it—and also a pack of Skittles to get through. In bed. In this quiet room. Bolstered by the magnificent knowledge that when I turn off the light and drift into sleep tonight, no-one is going to wake me up three hours later and demand to eat. Small pleasures, friends. You can't even imagine. 

Recent Posts

Jan
13
2014

And In The End We All Survived

First of all, thank you so, so, so much for all your kind and compassionate and encouraging comments about my return to work. I read them over and over, and they helped me so much to feel better about it all. I worked from home last Wednesday, Thursday and Friday—the equivalent of inching body-part-by-body-part into the swimming pool, as opposed to just cannonballing in from the diving board; highly recommended if you can swing it—and then today I actually went back to the office for real.

Continue Reading

Jan
06
2014

These Days Are Numbered

I go back to work on Wednesday. Even writing that sentence, my heart simultaneously plummeted and soared, like when you get on an elevator that you think is going down but then the doors close and it starts going up. 

Continue Reading

Dec
31
2013

A Lot Of Words About 2013

Oh hey, remember me? Here I am on the very last day of 2013, squeezing in one last blog post so I can say that I updated eight times since mid-July instead of seven. I mean, I don't know who I think I'd be saying this to—the imaginary blogging police, I can only assume, who presumably monitor this kind of thing?but anyway, there you go.

Continue Reading

Nov
17
2013

I Wrote This Entire Thing Without Taking A Breath Can You Tell

Thank you, thank you, thank you for all your wise and helpful comments on my last post. You know, sometimes I feel like I just can't be bothered with blogging anymore—all the sponsored this, Pinterest-fodder that—and I think "eh, I'll just show myself out quietly, there's nothing in this for me anymore," and then you, all you wonderful people, weigh in on a subject with your thoughts and your advice and your experiences and I realize that what I've always valued most of all about writing online

Continue Reading

Nov
11
2013

Party At My Crib

Look, let me just tell you once and for all that when it comes to babies and sleep, things are every bit as terrible as you would imagine. As in, once you have one, you probably won't be getting very much of it at all. 

Continue Reading

Nov
04
2013

There Is No Narrative Construct To This Blog Post But I Hit Publish So I'm Calling It A Victory

Hello! I just got back from a week in a cabin in Northern Michigan—actually, I kept calling it a cabin but it was really just a condo decorated very rusticly and located in a woodsy setting—with a small portion of my family. My parents got lots of grandkid time, my kid got lots of grandparent time, and I got lots of "sleeping til 10am because someone else is looking after the baby" time, so basically it was a win-win for all. 

Continue Reading

Oct
03
2013

You Are Doing Just Fine

One of the things that has surprised me so much about having a baby—and there is so much that does surprise you; leaves you reeling, in fact—is that almost everyone I've spoken to in the last eleven weeks since Hugo was born has asked me how I'm doing. How I'm doing. Once we've ascertained that the baby is thriving and well and sleeping just enough that Sean and I aren't contemplating driving him back to the hospital and asking about their return policy, their attention is turned to me.

Continue Reading

Aug
26
2013

Parents Of Twins, I Salute You

So having a baby is a little time-consuming, turns out. I know! Who'd have guessed! Despite the fact that Hugo has proven, so far, to have inherited his father's mellow, easygoing temperament—as opposed to his mother's, ahem, less mellow, less easygoing one—the basic job of keeping a tiny human being fed, happy, and not rolling around in his own poop all day has been surprisingly all-encompassing.

Continue Reading

Random Flashbacks

Feb
28
2012

We're The Kids In America

Oh, I've been meaning to ask you: how was your Presidents' Day? It has not, hitherto, been a day I've ever had off work, and so when Sean and I both realized we had a holiday, we swiftly decided to throw an impromptu brunch, to which Emily Post would be aghast to hear we invited people via text, DM, and Facebook Chat. I know! If a party happens but no-one is around to make custom letterpress invitations, does it really happen? The scandal! 

Continue Reading

Sep
16
2012

While You Were Seeping

I hope you're ready for something gross and kind of disturbing because I'm about to take that old adage about not airing your dirty laundry and dropkick it into the great beyond. I am about to literally air my dirty laundry, is what I'm saying. It's not going to be pretty, but it is going to be satisfying—and maybe it'll even be helpful. 

Continue Reading

May
11
2010

Prepare To Itch

I've become obsessed with bedbugs. I blithely followed a link on Twitter the other day (thanks a lot, METALIA) that led me to this horrifying article---honestly, try reading that without itching for three days afterwards---and now I can't stop thinking about them. There are far more pleasant things to think about, I know, and yet I cannot train my brain to think about them (cupcakes, sparkles, Jordan Catalano in a plaid shirt, COME ON BRAIN DO IT).

Continue Reading

Jun
01
2007

For All The Henrys

"Oh, you bought coffee beans! Thank you! Wait, why did you buy these ones? "Henry's Blend?" Was it because the cat on the package looks sort of like Sadie?"

"No, it was because Henry seemed like the kind of guy who'd have a good blend."

************************

Some time later:

************************

"Did you enjoy your coffee?"

"Yes, it was great, thanks."

"Do you know what you enjoyed about it?"

"Uh, I think it was maybe ... the half and half?"

Continue Reading

Jul
11
2006

Taxicab Confessions

My brother Luke, who usually knows about these kinds of things, taught me that it's polite to call the taxi drivers in Singapore "uncle." And since taxis are cheap here, and we therefore use them rather a lot, I've suddenly found myself with a whole bunch of uncles, which, if I were into geneology and all that, would really be kind of a bitch when it came to drawing my family tree. "Hello uncle!" I'll say, clambering across the plastic-covered seat, nearly knocking myself in the head with the air freshener dangling from the ceiling.

Continue Reading

Nov
19
2007

The Day I Officially Became A Midwesterner

Along with the Henry Ford museum and the Heidelberg project, one of the things I really wanted to do in Detroit was try a real jello salad. You know the kind: "salad" is a total misnomer since they're 98 percent gelatin, and they make frequent appearances at family reunions, where nobody but the kids really eats them. If you're lucky, they're topped with whipped cream from the can.

Continue Reading

Nov
22
2006

Found: One Real Life, Honest To God, 100% Genuine Fan Letter I Wrote To Sara Gilbert, AKA Darlene on Roseanne

Dear Sara,

This is probably strange, getting fan mail from a girl, but I just wanted to say "hi" and tell you that I think you're really great on the show. I can't believe you work with Johnny Galecki! What's he like? Seriously, I am so addicted to your show, 'cos I live in England and the TV isn't that great, and Roseanne is the best programme I've watched ever!

Continue Reading

Recent Comments

tramadol
Apr 27, 2015
pldaujxx
Apr 25, 2015
gckqbad
Apr 25, 2015
zdkuimn
Apr 25, 2015
xpfhyghq
Apr 25, 2015
togiyqxf
Apr 25, 2015
buy tramadol
Apr 17, 2015
ambien
Apr 16, 2015
cheap ativan
Apr 16, 2015
cheap viagra
Apr 11, 2015
viagra
Apr 10, 2015
socbky
Apr 09, 2015