Feb
05
2014

Sleeping In Seattle

 

Hello from Seattle, where it is currently really, really, really cold. No, I mean really cold. Like, think of the coldest thing you can think of right now—a milkshake with ice cubes in it, the Arctic tundra, Paris Hilton's heart—and multiply that by a hundred and four, and that is how cold it is here. I just walked seven blocks back from my office and by the time I pushed open the doors of the hotel lobby, I couldn't feel most of my extremities, and I was wearing gloves, a hat, and a coat that kept me pretty toasty in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. In November. I mean, come on. 

On the upside, here is the view from my office, which could not possibly be more beautifully Seattle-ish.

Okay, wait, maybe it could be a tiny bit more beautifully Seattle-ish, but only if it had Frasier Crane somewhere in the left hand of the frame. Holding a cup of coffee. Next to McDreamy. 

(Is McDreamy still a thing? Do people still watch Grey's Anatomy? I remember the last time I visited Seattle, I was obsessed with the show and kept thinking I saw Meredith everywhere, but I must confess that I stopped watching several years ago and now I have no idea what the residents of Seattle Grace are up to anymore. Although presumably the same five people are still getting together and breaking up in various combinations.)

As well as not realizing that it was going to be this cold in Seattle—I mean, it's not like I have a weather app on my phone or anything; it's not like I could have looked it up (I could have looked it up)—I also did not realize that I was going to be arriving in the city on the day of a major parade. Why was there a major parade in Seattle today? Well, if you just asked yourself that question, you're in good company, because I did not know either. This is because the parade was to celebrate the winning of the Superbowl, but because the Superbowl is a sporting event and my brain shuts off at the phrase "sporting event" somewhere around "spor—", I kind of didn't really pay it any attention until the hotel check-in person said "wow, lot of people out there for the parade, huh?" and I said "oh, there's a parade today? For what?" and then I was actually asked to leave the United States of America immediately for unpatriotic conduct and also my husband texted me and asked for a divorce. 

(Whatever. Talk to me when there's a parade for the Oscars. Oh wait, there is! It's Live From the Red Carpet on E! and I have the time and date of it written down in my planner. Look, I'm sorry, we all have our passions. Yours might be football but mine is marveling at what a good job that boob tape is doing at holding everything in.) 

I am going to finish this now because I have one-quarter of The Goldfinch left to read—I have been dragging it out for an entire month because I never want to not be reading it—and also a pack of Skittles to get through. In bed. In this quiet room. Bolstered by the magnificent knowledge that when I turn off the light and drift into sleep tonight, no-one is going to wake me up three hours later and demand to eat. Small pleasures, friends. You can't even imagine. 

Recent Posts

Jan
13
2014

And In The End We All Survived

First of all, thank you so, so, so much for all your kind and compassionate and encouraging comments about my return to work. I read them over and over, and they helped me so much to feel better about it all. I worked from home last Wednesday, Thursday and Friday—the equivalent of inching body-part-by-body-part into the swimming pool, as opposed to just cannonballing in from the diving board; highly recommended if you can swing it—and then today I actually went back to the office for real.

Continue Reading

Jan
06
2014

These Days Are Numbered

I go back to work on Wednesday. Even writing that sentence, my heart simultaneously plummeted and soared, like when you get on an elevator that you think is going down but then the doors close and it starts going up. 

Continue Reading

Dec
31
2013

A Lot Of Words About 2013

Oh hey, remember me? Here I am on the very last day of 2013, squeezing in one last blog post so I can say that I updated eight times since mid-July instead of seven. I mean, I don't know who I think I'd be saying this to—the imaginary blogging police, I can only assume, who presumably monitor this kind of thing?but anyway, there you go.

Continue Reading

Nov
17
2013

I Wrote This Entire Thing Without Taking A Breath Can You Tell

Thank you, thank you, thank you for all your wise and helpful comments on my last post. You know, sometimes I feel like I just can't be bothered with blogging anymore—all the sponsored this, Pinterest-fodder that—and I think "eh, I'll just show myself out quietly, there's nothing in this for me anymore," and then you, all you wonderful people, weigh in on a subject with your thoughts and your advice and your experiences and I realize that what I've always valued most of all about writing online

Continue Reading

Nov
11
2013

Party At My Crib

Look, let me just tell you once and for all that when it comes to babies and sleep, things are every bit as terrible as you would imagine. As in, once you have one, you probably won't be getting very much of it at all. 

Continue Reading

Nov
04
2013

There Is No Narrative Construct To This Blog Post But I Hit Publish So I'm Calling It A Victory

Hello! I just got back from a week in a cabin in Northern Michigan—actually, I kept calling it a cabin but it was really just a condo decorated very rusticly and located in a woodsy setting—with a small portion of my family. My parents got lots of grandkid time, my kid got lots of grandparent time, and I got lots of "sleeping til 10am because someone else is looking after the baby" time, so basically it was a win-win for all. 

Continue Reading

Oct
03
2013

You Are Doing Just Fine

One of the things that has surprised me so much about having a baby—and there is so much that does surprise you; leaves you reeling, in fact—is that almost everyone I've spoken to in the last eleven weeks since Hugo was born has asked me how I'm doing. How I'm doing. Once we've ascertained that the baby is thriving and well and sleeping just enough that Sean and I aren't contemplating driving him back to the hospital and asking about their return policy, their attention is turned to me.

Continue Reading

Aug
26
2013

Parents Of Twins, I Salute You

So having a baby is a little time-consuming, turns out. I know! Who'd have guessed! Despite the fact that Hugo has proven, so far, to have inherited his father's mellow, easygoing temperament—as opposed to his mother's, ahem, less mellow, less easygoing one—the basic job of keeping a tiny human being fed, happy, and not rolling around in his own poop all day has been surprisingly all-encompassing.

Continue Reading

Random Flashbacks

Apr
29
2008

Come On Feel The Illinois(e), Part One

When the stupid alarm went off on Thursday morning, I thought it was a joke. The stupid alarm, you see, went off at 4am, and there is little in life more unpleasant than being forcibly woken up at 4am, except for being forcibly woken up at 4am when there is no coffee in the house. So that was a fun hour between crawling out of bed and crawling into the airport. Did you know how many new curse words you could make using variations of just one curse word?

 

Continue Reading

May
21
2007

Kissing The Lipless

Do you realize that tonight is The Bachelor finale, and that we only have one more Secret Bachelor Tuesday Wednesday Friday The Following Tuesday Whenever to get through after this? I know! What will we do when it's all over? Well, I guess we'll have to talk about real things again, like politics and current affairs and how gross Spencer from The Hills is and what a fool Heidi is for staying with him.

Continue Reading

Jan
10
2010

How I Broke My Eyeball

I should probably tell you right now that this story is going to be a little bit gross. If you have eyes, and I assume you do, the odds are fairly high that you are going to squinch them shut quite suddenly while reading it, not unlike a man who flinches and subconsciously reaches protectively for his testicles whenever he stumbles across the word "castration." This story has to do with eyes you see, my eyes in particular, and people have sort of a thing about eyes.

Continue Reading

Oct
07
2010

Timeline: Twenty-Three

This follows on from Twenty-Two, and before that, Twenty-One, and before that, Twenty, and before that, Nineteen, and before that, Seventeen & Eighteen, and before that, Sixteen, and before that, Fourteen & Fifteen, and before that, Twelve & Thirteen, and before that, Eleven, and before that, Seven Through Ten, and before that, Zero Through Six.

******************************************************

2003, aged twenty-three: On my twenty-third birthday, we have lived in Charleston for nine weeks, occupying one half of a basement flat in a big stone house on Charlotte Street. This is the first place we have lived together, Sean and I, without other people, and though the rooms are tiny, the ceilings low, and the outlets placed, curiously, halfway up the walls, we love it because it's ours. The bathroom linoleum is checkered black and white, the most glamorous thing I've ever seen.

Continue Reading

Jan
31
2010

Does This Dress Make Me Look Thirty?

I turn thirty a week from today and I am not afraid to tell you that I have been sucker-punched by that old cliche, big time. You know the cliche I'm talking about: the one where you dread turning thirty. Every prime-time sitcom in the history of the world has made rampant use of this cliche at one time or another, and apparently I have watched enough prime-time sitcoms that I've fallen for it, hook, line, and sinker. I have been dreading my thirtieth birthday since the day after my twenty-ninth. I mean, that's what you're supposed to do, right?

Continue Reading

Recent Comments

ubohgpahir
Nov 17, 2018
Segmental pbk.dxpe.nothingbutbonfires.com.ozc.yn colon coadministration structural illnesses: strontium cash advance san antonio duloxetine hcl fast cash payday loans essays writing descriptive essay about a place personal loans phoenix az generic accutane payday loans surrey nuchal superior, scientific inside.

Read the Full Discussion >

keyocomoqt
Nov 17, 2018
http://doxycycline-cheapbuy.site/ - doxycycline-cheapbuy.site.ankor onlinebuycytotec.site.ankor

Read the Full Discussion >

itayucaq
Nov 17, 2018
http://doxycycline-cheapbuy.site/ - doxycycline-cheapbuy.site.ankor onlinebuycytotec.site.ankor

Read the Full Discussion >

iogitenuginag
Nov 17, 2018
http://doxycycline-cheapbuy.site/ - doxycycline-cheapbuy.site.ankor onlinebuycytotec.site.ankor

Read the Full Discussion >

uzabedu
Nov 17, 2018
http://doxycycline-cheapbuy.site/ - doxycycline-cheapbuy.site.ankor onlinebuycytotec.site.ankor

Read the Full Discussion >

abolwayilip
Nov 17, 2018
http://doxycycline-cheapbuy.site/ - doxycycline-cheapbuy.site.ankor onlinebuycytotec.site.ankor

Read the Full Discussion >

esuwuteqiz
Nov 17, 2018
http://doxycycline-cheapbuy.site/ - doxycycline-cheapbuy.site.ankor onlinebuycytotec.site.ankor

Read the Full Discussion >

ibebkofimodt
Nov 17, 2018
http://doxycycline-cheapbuy.site/ - doxycycline-cheapbuy.site.ankor onlinebuycytotec.site.ankor

Read the Full Discussion >

xobirup
Nov 17, 2018
http://doxycycline-cheapbuy.site/ - doxycycline-cheapbuy.site.ankor onlinebuycytotec.site.ankor

Read the Full Discussion >

CharlesoBeta
Nov 17, 2018
shangri la casino words

Read the Full Discussion >

huchtof
Nov 16, 2018
emekief
Nov 16, 2018
http://doxycycline-cheapbuy.site/ - doxycycline-cheapbuy.site.ankor onlinebuycytotec.site.ankor

Read the Full Discussion >

asisujuiuczoc
Nov 16, 2018
http://doxycycline-cheapbuy.site/ - doxycycline-cheapbuy.site.ankor onlinebuycytotec.site.ankor

Read the Full Discussion >

igecuqdifidi
Nov 16, 2018
http://doxycycline-cheapbuy.site/ - doxycycline-cheapbuy.site.ankor onlinebuycytotec.site.ankor

Read the Full Discussion >

izoiqude
Nov 16, 2018
http://doxycycline-cheapbuy.site/ - doxycycline-cheapbuy.site.ankor onlinebuycytotec.site.ankor

Read the Full Discussion >

ugajupo
Nov 16, 2018
http://doxycycline-cheapbuy.site/ - doxycycline-cheapbuy.site.ankor onlinebuycytotec.site.ankor

Read the Full Discussion >

osaqarupuy
Nov 16, 2018
http://doxycycline-cheapbuy.site/ - doxycycline-cheapbuy.site.ankor onlinebuycytotec.site.ankor

Read the Full Discussion >

avuqiaseguuv
Nov 16, 2018
http://doxycycline-cheapbuy.site/ - doxycycline-cheapbuy.site.ankor onlinebuycytotec.site.ankor

Read the Full Discussion >

ujowoasn
Nov 16, 2018
http://doxycycline-cheapbuy.site/ - doxycycline-cheapbuy.site.ankor onlinebuycytotec.site.ankor

Read the Full Discussion >

ecuworio
Nov 16, 2018
http://doxycycline-cheapbuy.site/ - doxycycline-cheapbuy.site.ankor onlinebuycytotec.site.ankor

Read the Full Discussion >