Feb
05
2014

Sleeping In Seattle

 

Hello from Seattle, where it is currently really, really, really cold. No, I mean really cold. Like, think of the coldest thing you can think of right now—a milkshake with ice cubes in it, the Arctic tundra, Paris Hilton's heart—and multiply that by a hundred and four, and that is how cold it is here. I just walked seven blocks back from my office and by the time I pushed open the doors of the hotel lobby, I couldn't feel most of my extremities, and I was wearing gloves, a hat, and a coat that kept me pretty toasty in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. In November. I mean, come on. 

On the upside, here is the view from my office, which could not possibly be more beautifully Seattle-ish.

Okay, wait, maybe it could be a tiny bit more beautifully Seattle-ish, but only if it had Frasier Crane somewhere in the left hand of the frame. Holding a cup of coffee. Next to McDreamy. 

(Is McDreamy still a thing? Do people still watch Grey's Anatomy? I remember the last time I visited Seattle, I was obsessed with the show and kept thinking I saw Meredith everywhere, but I must confess that I stopped watching several years ago and now I have no idea what the residents of Seattle Grace are up to anymore. Although presumably the same five people are still getting together and breaking up in various combinations.)

As well as not realizing that it was going to be this cold in Seattle—I mean, it's not like I have a weather app on my phone or anything; it's not like I could have looked it up (I could have looked it up)—I also did not realize that I was going to be arriving in the city on the day of a major parade. Why was there a major parade in Seattle today? Well, if you just asked yourself that question, you're in good company, because I did not know either. This is because the parade was to celebrate the winning of the Superbowl, but because the Superbowl is a sporting event and my brain shuts off at the phrase "sporting event" somewhere around "spor—", I kind of didn't really pay it any attention until the hotel check-in person said "wow, lot of people out there for the parade, huh?" and I said "oh, there's a parade today? For what?" and then I was actually asked to leave the United States of America immediately for unpatriotic conduct and also my husband texted me and asked for a divorce. 

(Whatever. Talk to me when there's a parade for the Oscars. Oh wait, there is! It's Live From the Red Carpet on E! and I have the time and date of it written down in my planner. Look, I'm sorry, we all have our passions. Yours might be football but mine is marveling at what a good job that boob tape is doing at holding everything in.) 

I am going to finish this now because I have one-quarter of The Goldfinch left to read—I have been dragging it out for an entire month because I never want to not be reading it—and also a pack of Skittles to get through. In bed. In this quiet room. Bolstered by the magnificent knowledge that when I turn off the light and drift into sleep tonight, no-one is going to wake me up three hours later and demand to eat. Small pleasures, friends. You can't even imagine. 

Recent Posts

Jan
13
2014

And In The End We All Survived

First of all, thank you so, so, so much for all your kind and compassionate and encouraging comments about my return to work. I read them over and over, and they helped me so much to feel better about it all. I worked from home last Wednesday, Thursday and Friday—the equivalent of inching body-part-by-body-part into the swimming pool, as opposed to just cannonballing in from the diving board; highly recommended if you can swing it—and then today I actually went back to the office for real.

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Jan
06
2014

These Days Are Numbered

I go back to work on Wednesday. Even writing that sentence, my heart simultaneously plummeted and soared, like when you get on an elevator that you think is going down but then the doors close and it starts going up. 

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Dec
31
2013

A Lot Of Words About 2013

Oh hey, remember me? Here I am on the very last day of 2013, squeezing in one last blog post so I can say that I updated eight times since mid-July instead of seven. I mean, I don't know who I think I'd be saying this to—the imaginary blogging police, I can only assume, who presumably monitor this kind of thing?but anyway, there you go.

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Nov
17
2013

I Wrote This Entire Thing Without Taking A Breath Can You Tell

Thank you, thank you, thank you for all your wise and helpful comments on my last post. You know, sometimes I feel like I just can't be bothered with blogging anymore—all the sponsored this, Pinterest-fodder that—and I think "eh, I'll just show myself out quietly, there's nothing in this for me anymore," and then you, all you wonderful people, weigh in on a subject with your thoughts and your advice and your experiences and I realize that what I've always valued most of all about writing online

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Nov
11
2013

Party At My Crib

Look, let me just tell you once and for all that when it comes to babies and sleep, things are every bit as terrible as you would imagine. As in, once you have one, you probably won't be getting very much of it at all. 

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Nov
04
2013

There Is No Narrative Construct To This Blog Post But I Hit Publish So I'm Calling It A Victory

Hello! I just got back from a week in a cabin in Northern Michigan—actually, I kept calling it a cabin but it was really just a condo decorated very rusticly and located in a woodsy setting—with a small portion of my family. My parents got lots of grandkid time, my kid got lots of grandparent time, and I got lots of "sleeping til 10am because someone else is looking after the baby" time, so basically it was a win-win for all. 

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Oct
03
2013

You Are Doing Just Fine

One of the things that has surprised me so much about having a baby—and there is so much that does surprise you; leaves you reeling, in fact—is that almost everyone I've spoken to in the last eleven weeks since Hugo was born has asked me how I'm doing. How I'm doing. Once we've ascertained that the baby is thriving and well and sleeping just enough that Sean and I aren't contemplating driving him back to the hospital and asking about their return policy, their attention is turned to me.

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Aug
26
2013

Parents Of Twins, I Salute You

So having a baby is a little time-consuming, turns out. I know! Who'd have guessed! Despite the fact that Hugo has proven, so far, to have inherited his father's mellow, easygoing temperament—as opposed to his mother's, ahem, less mellow, less easygoing one—the basic job of keeping a tiny human being fed, happy, and not rolling around in his own poop all day has been surprisingly all-encompassing.

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Random Flashbacks

Nov
26
2010

Home And My Range: Part Two

Never underestimate the excitement of a new kitchen appliance. My 21-year-old self just cringed in horror when I wrote tha—oh, who am I kidding, my 21-year-old self was as nerdy as my 30-year-old self is now. My 21-year-old self, in fact, might even have been more excited than my 30-year-old about a new kitchen appliance because my 21-year-old self often had to choose between contact lens solution and shampoo, my pitiful student budget not stretching so far as to encompass both. A conclusion then: new kitchen appliances are exciting at any age.

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comments closed
Jun
22
2008

Trader Joe's Fake Cheetos

FakeCheetos.jpg

I'm sure I'm violating some kind of copyright law by calling these Fake Cheetos when their official name is Baked Cheese Crunchies, but they taste exactly like Cheetos would taste if Trader Joe's got hold of them, which is precisely what has happened. And while I used to only allow myself actual Cheetos in times of extreme desperation---homesickness, hangovers, heartbreak---I find that I cut myself a little more slack with these and will allow them to creep in to my diet during not-so-desperate times. Like, say if there is a "y" in the month.

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Jul
27
2008

Extremely Shallow Film Reviews, Part 4: The Dark Knight, Starring Christian "Hottie" Bale and...Wait, Other People Were In It?

I'm not sure how, but on Friday night, I was coerced into going to see The Dark Knight. Sean has been looking forward to it for months, and since I've dragged him along to such cinematic masterpieces as Legally Blonde and Legally Blonde 2, I figured I probably owed him a favor or five.

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Mar
09
2013

It's A.....

(Look, if you just want to know immediately, you can scroll down a little bit and find out. If, however, you like torturing yourself with the delicious anticipation—and also know me well enough to realize that it takes me forever to get to the punchline of any story—you may want to read a hundred rambling paragraphs of lead-in first.) 

******

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Oct
27
2008

And We Don't Care About The Young Folks

You will be pleased to know that we made it to and from Monterey this weekend without incident. Well, if "without incident" means that I only drove down a one-way street the wrong way once. And also maybe kind of drove into a dead-end while getting on the freeway in the dark. Apart from those two little mistakes---quickly and easily corrected, both of them---my time behind the wheel was not as bad as I had thought it would be. Turns out driving a car is pretty much like riding a bike: you just remember how to do it, and after that, instinct kicks in.

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Nov
09
2005

Ask the Ethicist

While I wish I could pretend that I get my caffeine fix at a local coffee house where the owner bakes fresh flaxseed muffins every morning and her domestic life partner plays Joni Mitchell covers during open mic night, I've got to admit that more often than not, I am guilty of feeding the Evil Starbucks Machine. This is primarily because it's right around the corner from both my apartment and my office, but also because the only other place that's directly on my route to work is Whole Foods.

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Nov
02
2011

We Need To Talk About Evan Dando

You guys, I am worried about Evan Dando. We all know Evan Dando, right? He is the lead singer of 90s indie band the Lemonheads, and also my pretend boyfriend. He has, for a great many years, held the number one spot on my list. What list, you say? You know, the list: the one you make in your head of the celebrities who, if they one day showed up at your front door and were all "you and me, baby, how about it?", would cause your partner just to look at you, shrug, and say "Eh, go ahead, I guess. He's on the list."  

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Apr
25
2006

I Will Gladly Pay You Tuesday For An Oil Change Today

I've been needing to get the oil changed in my car forever. I've been meaning to do it on a Wednesday because Wednesday is "Ladies Day" at the Jiffy Lube, and even though I find this blatant display of sexism just a tad insulting, if it means I can put a skirt on and save ten bucks, then I'm all over it. Shameless, yes, but neccessary. Plus, it's better than this place, where they leave a rose on your front seat when they give you your car back. How Bachelor is that?

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