Feb
05
2014

Sleeping In Seattle

 

Hello from Seattle, where it is currently really, really, really cold. No, I mean really cold. Like, think of the coldest thing you can think of right now—a milkshake with ice cubes in it, the Arctic tundra, Paris Hilton's heart—and multiply that by a hundred and four, and that is how cold it is here. I just walked seven blocks back from my office and by the time I pushed open the doors of the hotel lobby, I couldn't feel most of my extremities, and I was wearing gloves, a hat, and a coat that kept me pretty toasty in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. In November. I mean, come on. 

On the upside, here is the view from my office, which could not possibly be more beautifully Seattle-ish.

Okay, wait, maybe it could be a tiny bit more beautifully Seattle-ish, but only if it had Frasier Crane somewhere in the left hand of the frame. Holding a cup of coffee. Next to McDreamy. 

(Is McDreamy still a thing? Do people still watch Grey's Anatomy? I remember the last time I visited Seattle, I was obsessed with the show and kept thinking I saw Meredith everywhere, but I must confess that I stopped watching several years ago and now I have no idea what the residents of Seattle Grace are up to anymore. Although presumably the same five people are still getting together and breaking up in various combinations.)

As well as not realizing that it was going to be this cold in Seattle—I mean, it's not like I have a weather app on my phone or anything; it's not like I could have looked it up (I could have looked it up)—I also did not realize that I was going to be arriving in the city on the day of a major parade. Why was there a major parade in Seattle today? Well, if you just asked yourself that question, you're in good company, because I did not know either. This is because the parade was to celebrate the winning of the Superbowl, but because the Superbowl is a sporting event and my brain shuts off at the phrase "sporting event" somewhere around "spor—", I kind of didn't really pay it any attention until the hotel check-in person said "wow, lot of people out there for the parade, huh?" and I said "oh, there's a parade today? For what?" and then I was actually asked to leave the United States of America immediately for unpatriotic conduct and also my husband texted me and asked for a divorce. 

(Whatever. Talk to me when there's a parade for the Oscars. Oh wait, there is! It's Live From the Red Carpet on E! and I have the time and date of it written down in my planner. Look, I'm sorry, we all have our passions. Yours might be football but mine is marveling at what a good job that boob tape is doing at holding everything in.) 

I am going to finish this now because I have one-quarter of The Goldfinch left to read—I have been dragging it out for an entire month because I never want to not be reading it—and also a pack of Skittles to get through. In bed. In this quiet room. Bolstered by the magnificent knowledge that when I turn off the light and drift into sleep tonight, no-one is going to wake me up three hours later and demand to eat. Small pleasures, friends. You can't even imagine. 

Recent Posts

Jan
13
2014

And In The End We All Survived

First of all, thank you so, so, so much for all your kind and compassionate and encouraging comments about my return to work. I read them over and over, and they helped me so much to feel better about it all. I worked from home last Wednesday, Thursday and Friday—the equivalent of inching body-part-by-body-part into the swimming pool, as opposed to just cannonballing in from the diving board; highly recommended if you can swing it—and then today I actually went back to the office for real.

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Jan
06
2014

These Days Are Numbered

I go back to work on Wednesday. Even writing that sentence, my heart simultaneously plummeted and soared, like when you get on an elevator that you think is going down but then the doors close and it starts going up. 

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Dec
31
2013

A Lot Of Words About 2013

Oh hey, remember me? Here I am on the very last day of 2013, squeezing in one last blog post so I can say that I updated eight times since mid-July instead of seven. I mean, I don't know who I think I'd be saying this to—the imaginary blogging police, I can only assume, who presumably monitor this kind of thing?but anyway, there you go.

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Nov
17
2013

I Wrote This Entire Thing Without Taking A Breath Can You Tell

Thank you, thank you, thank you for all your wise and helpful comments on my last post. You know, sometimes I feel like I just can't be bothered with blogging anymore—all the sponsored this, Pinterest-fodder that—and I think "eh, I'll just show myself out quietly, there's nothing in this for me anymore," and then you, all you wonderful people, weigh in on a subject with your thoughts and your advice and your experiences and I realize that what I've always valued most of all about writing online

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Nov
11
2013

Party At My Crib

Look, let me just tell you once and for all that when it comes to babies and sleep, things are every bit as terrible as you would imagine. As in, once you have one, you probably won't be getting very much of it at all. 

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Nov
04
2013

There Is No Narrative Construct To This Blog Post But I Hit Publish So I'm Calling It A Victory

Hello! I just got back from a week in a cabin in Northern Michigan—actually, I kept calling it a cabin but it was really just a condo decorated very rusticly and located in a woodsy setting—with a small portion of my family. My parents got lots of grandkid time, my kid got lots of grandparent time, and I got lots of "sleeping til 10am because someone else is looking after the baby" time, so basically it was a win-win for all. 

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Oct
03
2013

You Are Doing Just Fine

One of the things that has surprised me so much about having a baby—and there is so much that does surprise you; leaves you reeling, in fact—is that almost everyone I've spoken to in the last eleven weeks since Hugo was born has asked me how I'm doing. How I'm doing. Once we've ascertained that the baby is thriving and well and sleeping just enough that Sean and I aren't contemplating driving him back to the hospital and asking about their return policy, their attention is turned to me.

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Aug
26
2013

Parents Of Twins, I Salute You

So having a baby is a little time-consuming, turns out. I know! Who'd have guessed! Despite the fact that Hugo has proven, so far, to have inherited his father's mellow, easygoing temperament—as opposed to his mother's, ahem, less mellow, less easygoing one—the basic job of keeping a tiny human being fed, happy, and not rolling around in his own poop all day has been surprisingly all-encompassing.

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Random Flashbacks

Mar
16
2008

Cover Girl Lipslick in "Daring"

Lipslick.jpg

When I was about 18, my lips suddenly started getting really chapped once in a while. And, you know, that kind of sucked and all, but what didn't suck was the color they'd go when they were chapped: it was the most perfect shade of pinky-red, like I was wearing the world's most natural-looking lipgloss. And so I almost started hoping for them to get chapped, because for two weeks I'd have some seriously awesome-looking lips, but without, you know, the hassle of reapplying lipgloss every few hours.

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Jul
13
2009

Like Me, But With A Lot More Blush On

Every time we go down to San Diego, like we did this weekend, we get so much done that I start to go the opposite direction of worrying about the wedding, and instead I just get pleasantly complacent. Wedding? I shrug, what wedding? Oh right, THAT wedding. Eh, it'll all come together. This is either because we get so much done down there that my buckling to-do list bounces back into something resembling approachability, or because Virgin America---recognizing a harried bride when it sees one---is habitually slipping Xanax into my diet coke on the plane.

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Oct
15
2009

Dear Jess

Speaking of anniversaries, October 15th is not a good one. On this day last year, we lost a sweet and kind and generous soul, my co-worker Jessica, who died suddenly at the age of 28. I have seen Jessica so many times this year---which is, I guess, what happens when you live in a city of hip and leggy brunettes---except when I've got closer, it's never been Jessica at all. I have dreamed about her a lot too, but when I've woken up, the dream has always slipped away.  

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Apr
30
2012

Let's Talk About My Vacation Part 6: The Train From Cape Town To Johannesburg

I am recapping, excruciatingly slowly, the two-week trip we took to South Africa last year.Here is part one, about our layover in Paris; here is part two, about Cape Town; here is part three, about Cape Point and the penguins of Boulders Beach; here is part four, about wine tasting and stroking a baby cheetah in Stellenbosch; and here is part five about shark-diving in Gansbaai. Expect me to be finished with this sometime in 2014.

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May
03
2006

Jumping To Conclusions

Dental Assistant (talking over my head to dentist, as I'm lying in the chair): So, did you and Thomas go out last night?
Dentist: Yeah, we went to Moe's.
Dental Assistant: Ha! Did you get him all messed up again, like last time?

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Jun
28
2012

Where The Warm Sun Shines

I've suddenly found that I have all these friends with children. For a long time, we had hardly any friends with children and now we have enough to start a small football team, and I love it. Part of the reason is that hanging out with them is like all the fun bits of babysitting without the awkward bits like the parents arriving home early while you're standing in their kitchen eating their ice cream directly from the carton, but the other part is that now we get to have some really kickass parties. 

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Mar
03
2013

Hamish, Either Way

Before I got pregnant—before I even started trying to get pregnant—Sean and I would refer to our mythical future child as "Hamish." I can't remember exactly how this started, although I do remember telling Sean that I used to babysit a sweet little boy named Hamish, and Sean declaring it his favorite baby name ever, but we somehow fell into the habit of using "Hamish" as a synonym for "baby." Before too long, we'd have perfectly normal conversations with each other that contained sentences like "When we have a Hamish, we can..." a

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