Feb
05
2014

Sleeping In Seattle

 

Hello from Seattle, where it is currently really, really, really cold. No, I mean really cold. Like, think of the coldest thing you can think of right now—a milkshake with ice cubes in it, the Arctic tundra, Paris Hilton's heart—and multiply that by a hundred and four, and that is how cold it is here. I just walked seven blocks back from my office and by the time I pushed open the doors of the hotel lobby, I couldn't feel most of my extremities, and I was wearing gloves, a hat, and a coat that kept me pretty toasty in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. In November. I mean, come on. 

On the upside, here is the view from my office, which could not possibly be more beautifully Seattle-ish.

Okay, wait, maybe it could be a tiny bit more beautifully Seattle-ish, but only if it had Frasier Crane somewhere in the left hand of the frame. Holding a cup of coffee. Next to McDreamy. 

(Is McDreamy still a thing? Do people still watch Grey's Anatomy? I remember the last time I visited Seattle, I was obsessed with the show and kept thinking I saw Meredith everywhere, but I must confess that I stopped watching several years ago and now I have no idea what the residents of Seattle Grace are up to anymore. Although presumably the same five people are still getting together and breaking up in various combinations.)

As well as not realizing that it was going to be this cold in Seattle—I mean, it's not like I have a weather app on my phone or anything; it's not like I could have looked it up (I could have looked it up)—I also did not realize that I was going to be arriving in the city on the day of a major parade. Why was there a major parade in Seattle today? Well, if you just asked yourself that question, you're in good company, because I did not know either. This is because the parade was to celebrate the winning of the Superbowl, but because the Superbowl is a sporting event and my brain shuts off at the phrase "sporting event" somewhere around "spor—", I kind of didn't really pay it any attention until the hotel check-in person said "wow, lot of people out there for the parade, huh?" and I said "oh, there's a parade today? For what?" and then I was actually asked to leave the United States of America immediately for unpatriotic conduct and also my husband texted me and asked for a divorce. 

(Whatever. Talk to me when there's a parade for the Oscars. Oh wait, there is! It's Live From the Red Carpet on E! and I have the time and date of it written down in my planner. Look, I'm sorry, we all have our passions. Yours might be football but mine is marveling at what a good job that boob tape is doing at holding everything in.) 

I am going to finish this now because I have one-quarter of The Goldfinch left to read—I have been dragging it out for an entire month because I never want to not be reading it—and also a pack of Skittles to get through. In bed. In this quiet room. Bolstered by the magnificent knowledge that when I turn off the light and drift into sleep tonight, no-one is going to wake me up three hours later and demand to eat. Small pleasures, friends. You can't even imagine. 

Recent Posts

Jan
13
2014

And In The End We All Survived

First of all, thank you so, so, so much for all your kind and compassionate and encouraging comments about my return to work. I read them over and over, and they helped me so much to feel better about it all. I worked from home last Wednesday, Thursday and Friday—the equivalent of inching body-part-by-body-part into the swimming pool, as opposed to just cannonballing in from the diving board; highly recommended if you can swing it—and then today I actually went back to the office for real.

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Jan
06
2014

These Days Are Numbered

I go back to work on Wednesday. Even writing that sentence, my heart simultaneously plummeted and soared, like when you get on an elevator that you think is going down but then the doors close and it starts going up. 

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Dec
31
2013

A Lot Of Words About 2013

Oh hey, remember me? Here I am on the very last day of 2013, squeezing in one last blog post so I can say that I updated eight times since mid-July instead of seven. I mean, I don't know who I think I'd be saying this to—the imaginary blogging police, I can only assume, who presumably monitor this kind of thing?but anyway, there you go.

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Nov
17
2013

I Wrote This Entire Thing Without Taking A Breath Can You Tell

Thank you, thank you, thank you for all your wise and helpful comments on my last post. You know, sometimes I feel like I just can't be bothered with blogging anymore—all the sponsored this, Pinterest-fodder that—and I think "eh, I'll just show myself out quietly, there's nothing in this for me anymore," and then you, all you wonderful people, weigh in on a subject with your thoughts and your advice and your experiences and I realize that what I've always valued most of all about writing online

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Nov
11
2013

Party At My Crib

Look, let me just tell you once and for all that when it comes to babies and sleep, things are every bit as terrible as you would imagine. As in, once you have one, you probably won't be getting very much of it at all. 

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Nov
04
2013

There Is No Narrative Construct To This Blog Post But I Hit Publish So I'm Calling It A Victory

Hello! I just got back from a week in a cabin in Northern Michigan—actually, I kept calling it a cabin but it was really just a condo decorated very rusticly and located in a woodsy setting—with a small portion of my family. My parents got lots of grandkid time, my kid got lots of grandparent time, and I got lots of "sleeping til 10am because someone else is looking after the baby" time, so basically it was a win-win for all. 

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Oct
03
2013

You Are Doing Just Fine

One of the things that has surprised me so much about having a baby—and there is so much that does surprise you; leaves you reeling, in fact—is that almost everyone I've spoken to in the last eleven weeks since Hugo was born has asked me how I'm doing. How I'm doing. Once we've ascertained that the baby is thriving and well and sleeping just enough that Sean and I aren't contemplating driving him back to the hospital and asking about their return policy, their attention is turned to me.

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Aug
26
2013

Parents Of Twins, I Salute You

So having a baby is a little time-consuming, turns out. I know! Who'd have guessed! Despite the fact that Hugo has proven, so far, to have inherited his father's mellow, easygoing temperament—as opposed to his mother's, ahem, less mellow, less easygoing one—the basic job of keeping a tiny human being fed, happy, and not rolling around in his own poop all day has been surprisingly all-encompassing.

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Random Flashbacks

Mar
18
2009

Bad Decision Thursday: Swimwear FROM HELL

Well, we haven't done one of these in a while, have we? So to celebrate, I've got a real doozy for you. Honestly, Internet, I just don't even know how to describe this one. I don't know where my mother could even have purchased such an item. It is quite possibly the most ugly piece of clothing I've ever seen in my life, and I've a feeling I only have to show it to you for you to agree. 

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Jul
20
2007

Shake, Rattle, And Roll

In the wee small hours of this morning, I woke up with a jolt. I don’t mean that figuratively, like I suddenly sat up in bed and said “sweet baby Moses, I forgot to feed the cats!” I mean it literally: I was jolted awake. Physically. It felt like an eight-wheeler had slammed into the bedroom wall. The bed shook for a few seconds, and I thought---in that detached sort of way you think things in the wee small hours of the morning, unaided yet by caffeine or clarity of thought---“whoa, weird, the bed is shaking.” And then I went back to sleep.

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Jun
11
2012

The Next One Will Actually Have Pictures

I was sitting here on my couch just now, trying to vanquish writer's block through that ancient and time-tested method of staring at the blank computer screen and wondering idly whether Alec Baldwin thinks it's as funny as I do that his girlfriend's name is Hilaria, when my gaze wandered over to the bookshelf and I saw my passport up there on the highest shelf. 

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Aug
07
2011

This Is What's Wrong With The World Today

This afternoon, while painting my spare bedroom, I stepped backwards right into the can of navy blue paint. And because I had absolutely no idea what to do next, I immediately took a picture and texted it to Sean. So let's reiterate: my first priority, having accidentally smurfed myself, was to take a photograph. Before I'd even cleaned it up. And you don't even know how close I was to tweeting it.

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May
04
2010

This Is Long And Kind Of Pointless

So hi, what have you been up to? Me, I've just been flirting with two mortgage companies. Did you know you could do that? I had no idea! Turns out if you decide to go with one mortgage company because it's a better deal and you call the other mortgage company to break up with them, the other mortgage company will suddenly get all macho on you, flex its muscles above its head, and say, in its deepest voice, "I WILL MATCH THAT. HEAR ME ROAR." And then, hey, what do you know, suddenly the other mortgage company is the better deal.

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Mar
10
2009

Oranges. Yep, Just Oranges.

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I'm not trying to be cute or funny here, but seriously, are oranges the best thing ever or what? I've recently rediscovered them and now I can't get enough of them. So tasty! So healthy! So convenient, with their own neat and tidy packaging that you just throw into the trash can! (Or---if you live in San Francisco where your office has one---THE COMPOST BIN. And to think at my old office, we didn't even recycle the copier paper.)

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Sep
16
2008

J.R. Watkins Natural Home Care All-Purpose Cleaner

DSC05527.JPG

I've been fairly conflicted about my choice of household cleaner recently: on the one hand, I like to know that I'm buying something decent-ish for the environment---as well as relatively unlikely to cause my potential children to be born with three and a half heads each---but on the other hand, nothing gets my countertops cleaner and whiter and more sterile-feeling than good old Clorox. 

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