Feb
05
2014

Sleeping In Seattle

 

Hello from Seattle, where it is currently really, really, really cold. No, I mean really cold. Like, think of the coldest thing you can think of right now—a milkshake with ice cubes in it, the Arctic tundra, Paris Hilton's heart—and multiply that by a hundred and four, and that is how cold it is here. I just walked seven blocks back from my office and by the time I pushed open the doors of the hotel lobby, I couldn't feel most of my extremities, and I was wearing gloves, a hat, and a coat that kept me pretty toasty in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. In November. I mean, come on. 

On the upside, here is the view from my office, which could not possibly be more beautifully Seattle-ish.

Okay, wait, maybe it could be a tiny bit more beautifully Seattle-ish, but only if it had Frasier Crane somewhere in the left hand of the frame. Holding a cup of coffee. Next to McDreamy. 

(Is McDreamy still a thing? Do people still watch Grey's Anatomy? I remember the last time I visited Seattle, I was obsessed with the show and kept thinking I saw Meredith everywhere, but I must confess that I stopped watching several years ago and now I have no idea what the residents of Seattle Grace are up to anymore. Although presumably the same five people are still getting together and breaking up in various combinations.)

As well as not realizing that it was going to be this cold in Seattle—I mean, it's not like I have a weather app on my phone or anything; it's not like I could have looked it up (I could have looked it up)—I also did not realize that I was going to be arriving in the city on the day of a major parade. Why was there a major parade in Seattle today? Well, if you just asked yourself that question, you're in good company, because I did not know either. This is because the parade was to celebrate the winning of the Superbowl, but because the Superbowl is a sporting event and my brain shuts off at the phrase "sporting event" somewhere around "spor—", I kind of didn't really pay it any attention until the hotel check-in person said "wow, lot of people out there for the parade, huh?" and I said "oh, there's a parade today? For what?" and then I was actually asked to leave the United States of America immediately for unpatriotic conduct and also my husband texted me and asked for a divorce. 

(Whatever. Talk to me when there's a parade for the Oscars. Oh wait, there is! It's Live From the Red Carpet on E! and I have the time and date of it written down in my planner. Look, I'm sorry, we all have our passions. Yours might be football but mine is marveling at what a good job that boob tape is doing at holding everything in.) 

I am going to finish this now because I have one-quarter of The Goldfinch left to read—I have been dragging it out for an entire month because I never want to not be reading it—and also a pack of Skittles to get through. In bed. In this quiet room. Bolstered by the magnificent knowledge that when I turn off the light and drift into sleep tonight, no-one is going to wake me up three hours later and demand to eat. Small pleasures, friends. You can't even imagine. 

Recent Posts

Jan
13
2014

And In The End We All Survived

First of all, thank you so, so, so much for all your kind and compassionate and encouraging comments about my return to work. I read them over and over, and they helped me so much to feel better about it all. I worked from home last Wednesday, Thursday and Friday—the equivalent of inching body-part-by-body-part into the swimming pool, as opposed to just cannonballing in from the diving board; highly recommended if you can swing it—and then today I actually went back to the office for real.

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Jan
06
2014

These Days Are Numbered

I go back to work on Wednesday. Even writing that sentence, my heart simultaneously plummeted and soared, like when you get on an elevator that you think is going down but then the doors close and it starts going up. 

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Dec
31
2013

A Lot Of Words About 2013

Oh hey, remember me? Here I am on the very last day of 2013, squeezing in one last blog post so I can say that I updated eight times since mid-July instead of seven. I mean, I don't know who I think I'd be saying this to—the imaginary blogging police, I can only assume, who presumably monitor this kind of thing?but anyway, there you go.

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Nov
17
2013

I Wrote This Entire Thing Without Taking A Breath Can You Tell

Thank you, thank you, thank you for all your wise and helpful comments on my last post. You know, sometimes I feel like I just can't be bothered with blogging anymore—all the sponsored this, Pinterest-fodder that—and I think "eh, I'll just show myself out quietly, there's nothing in this for me anymore," and then you, all you wonderful people, weigh in on a subject with your thoughts and your advice and your experiences and I realize that what I've always valued most of all about writing online

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Nov
11
2013

Party At My Crib

Look, let me just tell you once and for all that when it comes to babies and sleep, things are every bit as terrible as you would imagine. As in, once you have one, you probably won't be getting very much of it at all. 

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Nov
04
2013

There Is No Narrative Construct To This Blog Post But I Hit Publish So I'm Calling It A Victory

Hello! I just got back from a week in a cabin in Northern Michigan—actually, I kept calling it a cabin but it was really just a condo decorated very rusticly and located in a woodsy setting—with a small portion of my family. My parents got lots of grandkid time, my kid got lots of grandparent time, and I got lots of "sleeping til 10am because someone else is looking after the baby" time, so basically it was a win-win for all. 

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Oct
03
2013

You Are Doing Just Fine

One of the things that has surprised me so much about having a baby—and there is so much that does surprise you; leaves you reeling, in fact—is that almost everyone I've spoken to in the last eleven weeks since Hugo was born has asked me how I'm doing. How I'm doing. Once we've ascertained that the baby is thriving and well and sleeping just enough that Sean and I aren't contemplating driving him back to the hospital and asking about their return policy, their attention is turned to me.

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Aug
26
2013

Parents Of Twins, I Salute You

So having a baby is a little time-consuming, turns out. I know! Who'd have guessed! Despite the fact that Hugo has proven, so far, to have inherited his father's mellow, easygoing temperament—as opposed to his mother's, ahem, less mellow, less easygoing one—the basic job of keeping a tiny human being fed, happy, and not rolling around in his own poop all day has been surprisingly all-encompassing.

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Random Flashbacks

Apr
18
2007

Oh, I've Got More Trash For You Than A Glad Bag On Garbage Day

Well, well, well, here we all are again for Secret Bachelor Wednesday---look, I've just given up on aiming for Secret Bachelor Tuesday, alright? I have a job now---and I've got my large glass of Baileys, and you've got your...well, whatever gets you through. I've also got a very large bar of Symphony chocolate, presented to me by Sean "because you were cranky."

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Jul
19
2009

Takes a Village

You know what I've been thinking lately? This is going to sound sappy, so bear with me, but I've been thinking this: I really feel like the Internet has been helping me with my wedding.

Okay, that came out totally wrong. That came out, like, "hey, have you heard of this great thing called the Internet? You can order things on it FROM YOUR COMPUTER. I know! From a little box! And you can do research! On the same little box! Boy howdy, this "Internet" thing sure is helping me out with my wedding. By the way, is it still 1995?"

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Feb
04
2013

When Life Gives You Lemons

You are going to have to trust me that this post is not sponsored by Meyer lemons—or any kind of lemons, or any kind of fruit at all, although damn, I hear the boysenberry pays well*—but I am really, really into them at the moment.

* (I don't really hear that. I don't even know what a boysenberry is. Also, I just realized I should have said "I hear the grape pays well" because then you would have said "where did you hear that?" and I could have said "you know, through the grapevine.")

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Sep
24
2009

Spoiler Alert: We're Still Alive

I woke up at 4:30am convinced there was an intruder in the house. There had been a crash, you see, which woke me with a start. I lay there for a few seconds, startled, and from the corner of my eye, I swear I saw something move in the living room. (We live in a tiny apartment, and yes, from our bedroom, we can see our living room. Welcome to San Francisco! I guess it's the price you pay for being able to get a six-pack, an oil change, and a plate of pad thai at 2am if you'd like, without even leaving your block. Or at least without even leaving my block.)

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Apr
09
2012

Play Ball

I have made a terrible trade. Back when we started driving to work together, Sean and I came to an agreement which—now that I think about it—we came to way too easily for him not to have plotted it sneakily in advance. The agreement was this: in the mornings, I would decide what we listened to on the stereo. In the evenings, it would be his choice. 

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Apr
05
2011

So Many Opportunities For Jokes about CAT Scans

Right now, I could either be writing this with an alive cat or a dead cat, but I will spare you the suspense and tell you that I'm writing it with an alive cat, so that this way you can read the whole thing without wondering if perhaps you need to get up at some point and find a box of tissues and a stronger-than-usual whiskey-based cocktail. You do not. (Not because of this, anyway. Maybe you need those things for your own personal reasons, who am I to judge! Maybe you just have allergies and you're really thirsty.

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Nov
08
2009

Looking For A Theme In This Blog Post Is Like Trying To Find A Reason Heidi Montag Is Famous

We spent our weekend in Costco. I wish I were exaggerating when I say this---oh, alright, I sort of am exaggerating when I say this, I suppose. I mean, it's not like we were camped out at the big-box behemoth from Friday night through Monday morning, although the fact that visited both Saturday and Sunday sure did make it feel like we were. We had to make an exchange, you see. Have you ever made an exchange at Costco? Oh my friends, welcome to hell.

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Apr
16
2008

First Things First: Will It Really Be Windy?

I've got quite a bit of travel coming up over the next few weeks and months, and while I'm looking forward to it---I've actually come to the conclusion that I feel most like myself when I'm worrying about the whereabouts of my government-issued photo ID and whether security will notice that my Ziploc bag is just a little bit bigger than quart-sized---I do also find myself having an automatic reaction whenever I think about it, and that automatic reaction is this: simultaneous bone-crunching exhaustion and a rising panic at the impending change in my routine.

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