23 Weeks

Twenty three weeks, as far as I can remember—it happened a whole week ago, which means my new and fuzzy pregnancy brain has little to no memory of it—was fairly unmomentous. The twentysomething weeks, in fact, are whizzing by super quickly in a blur of super-quickness, much like my actual twenties, although I don't even have alcohol as an excuse for it this time. 

I guess I'm really looking seriously for-real pregnant now, which is exciting—although I don't habitually wear quite such tight clothes as the ones I wear in my weekly photos, which always seem to make me look a little more knocked up than I feel—and I am, for the most part, luxuriating in the button-free, zipper-free, glorious elasticated waistbandness of the maternity jean, which has to be one of the best inventions ever. (Quite apart from the comfort is the fact that you can whip 'em up and down at a moment's notice, which is wonderfully helpful when you're peeing 786 times an hour. Do you think they market them to pregnant women like that? Because they totally should. It's an added benefit!) 

This week I did some things that made me feel super legit and in control, like booking my hospital tour (June 26th!) and registering the birth (at CPMC—any local San Francisco ladies popped one out there? I tried to read a few Yelp reviews to see what I was getting into, but the overwhelming majority just waxed lyrical about the "celebratory dinner" they give you after the baby's birth, which seemed a little rearranging-the-deckchairs-on-the-Titanic, honestly, but to each her own.)

I've also made a decision—thanks to your fabulous advice—on the tiresome infant carseat/stroller conundrum, and will just be buying a stroller frame to snap our carseat (probably the Chicco Keyfit 30) into, until we figure out, once the baby's older, what sort of real stroller we want to get. (If I had a dollar for every woman who's said to me "If I could do it all over again, I'd just get the car seat and the stroller frame to start," well, I'd be able to buy, like eight car seats. Not that that would be useful for anyone other than Octomom or Michelle Duggar—or Angelina and Brad, but let's face it, they probably just take gold-encrusted limos everywhere—but still.) 

It's funny, actually; sorting out that whole stroller thing actually made me feel calmer about everything. The 19-weeks panic of MUST BUY ALL THE BABY THINGS NOW has faded—my spreadsheets languish, my lists remain uncrossed-off—and now I'm just feeling weirdly calm and nonchalant about the whole thing. I mean, I guess I'm having a baby in three months' time, but you wouldn't really know it from looking at my house. My general attitude these days is basically just ehhhh, it'll happen. Baby'll come out. Baby'll cry. Baby'll make us run out to the 24-hour Walgreens at 3am because we don't have something important. I'm not a particularly laidback person by nature so I'm not sure where this laissez-faire attittude is coming from all of a sudden, but maybe it's my desire not to be one of those moms who make such a Big Deal about everything—"and I've decided that this exact song must be playing in my birthing suite the moment the baby makes his entrance into the world! In fact, could we try and make it happen at the 1:45 mark? I love the chord change there!"—that's making me step back and chillax a little. 

(Is it obvious that I'm using the word "chillax" ironically? Like "swell" and "necking"? I do hope so.) 

There is one thing I'm still fretting over a little, though, and that's the question of whether or not I need a bassinet. Or a Moses basket or a co-sleeper or some other thing to put the baby in for the first few weeks so he can catch his Zs. I'd been under the—apparently naive!—impression that I could just.....I don't know, put him straight into his crib, but this has elicited a few raised eyebrows when I've mentioned it recently, and now I'm confused about whether it's some sort of terrible faux pas that will lead (worst case) to SIDS and (best case) to a lifetime of abandomnent issues that'll mean Hamish can't fall asleep at night unless he's holding his college roommate's hand.

Google is divided, so tell me: am I crazy? Can I put him straight into his crib once we bring him home from the hospital or do I need a smaller, snugglier, cozier space to start? His room will be right next to ours, so I'm not sure how necessary it is to have him in with us at night—or, indeed, how any sort of bassinet would fit into the space—but will I want/need/die without a bassinet or basket anyway? On the one hand, space in this house is limited, so I don't want to buy anything I won't use, but on the other hand, I have just seen an adorable white wicker one on Craigslist that I'll snap up if need be. 

Huh. Wow. Remember how I said I was super relaxed about all this stuff now? I just read my last two paragraphs back to myself and almost hurt my eyes from rolling them back in my head so far. Oh yeah, I'm relaxed all right. As relaxed as a person about to jump out of a plane with a parachute made of coiled rattlesnakes. Into a dentist's office. For a root canal. 

1
Katt
Apr 08, 2013

You can do either, re crib vs bassinet! Some newborns love being swaddled and then put to sleep in a bassinet, as it reminds them of being in the womb. But them some newborns, like my nephew, hates being swaddled and only went to sleep in his crib right away. I would suggest buying a cheao bassinet along with your crib, that way you're covered no matter which way he prefers to sleep, and can sell the bassinet if he doesn't like it, or when he grows out of it - whichever comes first :)

2
Christa
Apr 08, 2013

I had my son at CPMC and loved it. Everyone was wonderful. The nurses in labor and delivery were nice. I hope you get Taffy. She was awesome and gave my son his first bath. Also, the food in general was good and a nice man comes around to the new mama rooms in the afternoon with cookies. It was awesome.
I had my son in a mini cosleeper, like a sidecar bassinet, which was perfect. He used a bunk for sleeping, but if he woke with it having fallen out he would cry. I could just reach over and put it back in without getting up. It was really handy having him right there for nursing/night feeding as well. Of course, if he is always in his room in his crib, then you won't have to deal with transitioning him, which isn't the most fun. I really liked having him right next to me, so I could check him without getting up. I got much more sleep that way.

3
Kate
Apr 08, 2013

I didn't even know there was debate on crib vs. moses basket. We put our baby girl right into her crib, in her own room, when we got home.

4
Ilsa
Apr 08, 2013

I got more sleep during the first three months having my sons in the room with me in a mini co-sleeper. If you can find one to borrow or buy cheaply, I recommend it. As the commenter said above, it made those hazy early months when there's a lot of night-waking a lot easier. And when we were ready to transition both boys into the crib around 3 - 4 months, it was a fairly easy transition. I also had a moses basket for my first son's infancy, which was convenient, but not critical.

5
Jen
Apr 08, 2013

As clergy I've had MANY opportunities to visit people in hospitals around SF and have been pretty impressed with CPMC--all their locations. The birth center is big and well-staffed and my closest encounter was at a vaginal delivery of twins (my job is never dull), who stayed in NICU for a few weeks. The care for them and mama was wonderful. It's a bit calmer, too. All this is to say, you and your baby be in good hands! The pediatric department is impressive too. Funny that people rave about the meal, as there are great options so nearby and you're not there for very long. Ah, yelp.

6
Kavita
Apr 08, 2013

My son went straight to the crib. I put tiny bolsters and soft pillows around the baby for the first few days, just to make sure he felt swaddled and snug.
See what works with your baby. Kids are smarter than we give them credit for -- they'll find a way to let you know what they need. All the best!

7
Karen
Apr 08, 2013

No no no no don't get a Moses basket or a bassinet. Get a Fisher Price sleep and play rocket! You will not regret it! They sleep like a champ in them, they rock, they fold up, they are light and cheap. Dooo iiiit. My 2nd baby slept in it (when she wasn't just in bed with me; yeah I'm one of those on-purpose cosleeping types, set a bed up specifically for it in the nursery) for her first 3 or 4 months!

8
Jane
Apr 08, 2013

You're looking very "chillax" Holly!
Can't offer any advice in the sleep area as I don't have kids.
I am however wondering whether you're decorating the nursery in some kind of theme. You always seem to come up with some fantastic ideas & I'm always on the look out for inspiration in one form or another.

9
Patty
Apr 08, 2013

After each of my children were born, my thought process was that if I didn't have to get out of bed during the night, then I wasn't really "up" with the baby. It made me feel like I got more sleep. I also never kept a clock by my bed, another way to "psych" myself into thinking I was getting more sleep than I really was :) Because I was nursing, sleeping with the baby was the best for me (but I know that's contoversial). If I didn't have to get up to make a bottle, I didn't want to have to get out of bed. I used a bassinet too, but the Arm's Reach co-sleeper worked really well. Because basinetts/co-sleepers can only be used for a short time they are a great item to borrow or buy gently used. I borrowed a friends. I kept diapers, wipes, clean onsies and burp rags in the bottom storage part of the little cot for quick night-time diaper changes. You'll want a dim light you can use for diaper changes too. Brighter than a night-light but dim enough to not make Jr. think it's time to start his day. Also keep some Lansinoh lanolin around if you do decide to breast feed...best stuff ever!

10
Rebecca
Apr 08, 2013

I co-slept with both of mine for the first few months, first of all I am lazy and it makes night nursing a BREEZE, second, I really wanted my baby to be with me... The other room is SO. Far. Away! But really it's what you personally want, there is no wrong answer!

11
Red boots
Apr 08, 2013

I liked having my baby right next to me in a Moses basket for the first few months. Made the 2am and 5am night feeds much easier - I could just roll over, lift her out, feed her then put her back down to sleep without having to get out of bed. Meaning I got back to sleep much quicker! You also don't have that anxiety of "are they still breathing" every 5 mins because you can see them!

12
Sarah
Apr 09, 2013

Here's the deal. Some babies can do the crib. Some babies can freaking roll over when swaddled from day one, which hello? Is terrifying and will lead to no sleep for you whatsoever. Also, breast feeding happens every three hours and when there's a growth spurt it's every 1.5 hours and trust me you want them right there. As someone above said, you need a Fisher Price rock and play. You think you don't, but you actually do. I promise you. It hammocks the baby in and it's at an incline, not flat like a crib or bassinet. Trust me, I have converted so many to the beauty of the rock and play.

13
andrea
Apr 09, 2013

to echo what others have already said, Hamish will let you know what he wants.

and you're right, you don't need to have everything ready to go beforehand! the stores don't shut down once you've had a baby and it sounds like you will have plenty of people eager to help out once you are home. do not be afraid to delegate tasks to friends & family - like last minute shopping. also you'll have a couple days in the hospital to get a feel for what's up. or perhaps you could borrow gear to test out until you know what will work for your family?

in this and pretty much everything else, Hamish will let you know what he likes or doesn't like, and you will be able to work with that / around that. you don't have to have it All Figured Out :)

14
Robin
Apr 09, 2013

My two cents (and two babies' worth): the size of the receptacle doesn't matter as much as proximity. The small bassinet or co-sleeper or whatever is attractive for many folks because it likely fits next to your bed or in your bedroom. Even that walk to the next room, when you do it many times a night in a zombie blur, seems so very far away. We didn't get a bassinet, but actually moved to the guest room for those first few weeks so that we had space to stick the crib right next to me. Most newborns will sleep wherever--it's your own sanity that you are saving by having him nearby. For us, some degree of co-sleeping and some degree of dropping the baby in his crib (and those degrees varied by baby) worked well. You'll figure it out. (I second commenter above who mentions a a dim light--I really, really liked having a dimmable halogen lamp that could be just ever so barely on. Enough to see to latch the baby on or change his diaper but not enough to make anyone, me or baby or husband, feel the glare of light in the middle of the night. Again, we moved a lamp fitting that description into the guest room for the duration of those first weeks, and after a while it isn't necessary.)

15
Kate
Apr 09, 2013

I second (or fifth) the Fisher Price recommendation. We've been home with our newborn for a week now and it's nice to be able to just lean over to get her for night feelings, rather than having to get out of bed and go to the next room.

16
Kate
Apr 09, 2013

Sigh - feedings, not feelings. One-handed iPad typing!

17
Sarah
Apr 09, 2013

It's not really about what is best for the baby (neither a crib nor a cozier option will force him into a particular fate), but during the time when you are doing night feedings, it is nice and convenient and helpful to have the baby closer to you/in the same room/within arm's reach. You will also do the "oh crap, is he breathing?" panic multiple times a night and that is just easier to manage when the source of your panic is physically closer to you. We have a very small room and the Arms Reach (so cleverly named) co-sleeper just fit between our bed and the wall. And the risk of SIDS depends 100% more on what you PUT in the sleeping place (i.e., nothing) than what KIND of sleeping place it is.

18
Georgie
Apr 09, 2013

My advice to you is to have a Moses basket, just for the first few weeks at least. Not only are they transportable and therefore you can take them all over the house for naps, but the bairn's every-coupla-hours feedings are slightly easier when you can just reach over and grab them - especially if you intend to breast feed. At the end of the day it's what you feel most comfortable and happy with as it's you who will be getting up every night. Bear in mind though that babies come from a very snug, cosy, small space and the more that is replicated outside the womb the easier their transition. Also bear in mind that babies have their own ideas of things and my one hated his Moses basket from around 5 weeks. He's now 12 weeks and likes it again. Go figure.

19
april
Apr 09, 2013

Yes yes, please get yourself a sleep and go rocker or whatever that thing is. I recommend that thing to everyone - it's AWESOME.

20
Linda
Apr 09, 2013

Ok, I hate getting up in the middle of the night to take care of myself. Much less another human being.

We kept both of ours in the bedroom in a bassinet so I could sit up, get them, latch them on and then doze in my own warm bed.

The oldest moved to his own room at a year. The youngest kept us awake (and we kept him awake) so he went to his own room between 4-6 months.

21
kris
Apr 09, 2013

Rock and Play sleeper...definitely! We folded up a towel and put that under sleeper part for a little extra padding. Our baby slept in that thing for like 3 or 4 months then transitioned into his crib. I loved it because I could move it all over the house without an issue.

22
Tina
Apr 09, 2013

I read the comments, and yeah, I agree! Though I will say with baby #1 I never felt comfortable or able to nurse while laying down. And there was SO MUCH time spent rocking and rocking and trying to get that child to sleep. (Those may be related, maybe not, he was a fussy child). We had him in a bassinet in our room for one night, but his little noises kept us awake and we moved him to the crib by day 2 or 3. But by #2, um, they stayed in that lots longer and I was more comfortable with nursing laying down and it was much smoother.

23
Megan @ Mama Bub
Apr 09, 2013

For me, walking down the hall to get the baby in the middle of the night seemed like an impossible feat, so having the baby next to me in a bassinet worked for me. Also, I was neurotic, so it took a while for me to be able to be comfortable putting them down away from me. It was also nice to have a place to put the baby down to sleep in those early weeks when they sleep a lot and not on any sort of schedule so, I could just drag that thing around with me, and let them sleep wherever i was. But no, there's nothing wrong with going straight to the crib, and you won't have to deal with any sort of bassinet to crib transition down the line.

24
Angela
Apr 09, 2013

Our house was tiny, and my son's room was right next to us, so he slept in his crib from the get go. Often, I would hear him stir and cry through the wall a second or two before the baby monitor would register the sound, so it wasn't an issue at all. The fact that I could instantly wake up was amazing because prior to that (and now)I can sleep through anything. Yay for supersonic mom hearing!!

I think your laid back attitude is great, and this falls right in there with the other things. If the crib isn't working out, you can buy a bassinet. :-)

25
Amy
Apr 09, 2013

I kept my son in our room for the first three months, then we transitioned to his crib with no problem. I felt more secure with him being in our room. He slept in a little bassinet attached to our pack 'n play - snug as a bug. If I panicked I could quickly make sure he was breathing and it made his nighttime feedings that much easier. I just liked the idea of him being near me, especially in the beginning. Or...you could invest in a video monitor...I don't know what I would do without ours. It's a curse and a blessing. =)

26
Heather
Apr 09, 2013

Yes, the question is not so much what the baby "needs," it is really what are you willing to do at 11 pm, and 1 am and 3 am and 5 am. If you want to get up and go into the other room and nurse or feed, then that is all the baby will need. If you want to stay lying down and roll over and feed the baby, then that is all the baby needs too. So the real question is do YOU need a moses basket, cosleeper etc. I used the basinet option of our pack n play that we got at a baby shower. All babies only use them for a few months, so you will probably have lots of options to borrow one, or get one cheap on craigslist.

27
Amy
Apr 09, 2013

I had a bassinet and crib, but the baby hated both and ended up sleeping in bed with us. It ended up being better for me - I breastfed and it was so much easier to feed her in the middle of the night with her right there.

28
Julie
Apr 09, 2013

It sounds like you're very un-stressed! And approaching the whole thing with the right idea: be as chill as possible, until really important decisions come up. No idea on the crib thing, but...people act like anyone who doesn't parrot them exactly is crazy. I'm sure you can do anything you want with great results. (Well, maybe not anything...sticking Hamish outside on the balcony if his crying gets too loud's probably a bad idea. But it seems like you're going to love him way too much for that to be an option.)

29
Ashley
Apr 09, 2013

I think the reason people have such strong opinions about where a baby needs to sleep is that it's all tied up in the whole attachment parenting vs. non-attachment parenting debate. And, frankly, most of us fall somewhere between the two extremes anyway!

Basically, there is no wrong choice to make. It all depends on what is important to you and what is easiest at first (honestly, the first few months it's all about making whatever choice gives you the most sleep!). For me, I have ZERO desire to co-sleep. It was nice to snuggle with my newborn at first, but I was too paranoid about rolling over on him to relax enough to sleep deeply with him beside me. Also, long term I knew that I wanted to be able to put him into his crib at 7 each night and have him go to sleep on his own so that my husband and I could enjoy a few hours of child-free time each evening.
So I decided that I would get him into the habit of sleeping in his crib from day one. He liked to be swaddled, so from the very first night home from the hospital I swaddled him and put him to sleep in his crib (which seemed huge for him back then) in his own room. For the first ten days my mom was staying with us to help out, so she slept in our bedroom and my husband and I slept in the nursery. It was our guest room before the baby was born, so when we designed his nursery we just left the queen-sized bed in there. I figured it would be useful for rough nights. One of us could sleep in there with him without having to bring him in with us and disturb the other parent in our bed. That was the plan. Turns out we all slept way better in our own rooms anyway. As soon as my mom went home my husband and I went back to sleeping in our own room, and that was when our son started sleeping in 3-4 hour stretches, as opposed to the 1-2 hour stretches he'd been sleeping while we were in the room with him.
Having him in his own room also meant that as he got a bit older and I knew he was waking up out of habit and not need to nurse, I was able to send my husband in to soothe him at night and go back to sleep. Pretty nice! He got out of the habit of waking at night pretty quickly once he realized he was going to get boring old dad and not Mom the Milk Factory, and he was sleeping through the night most nights by 8 weeks, and reliably by 4.5 months. (Take that with a grain of salt, though, could have just been his personality and nothing to do with our sleeping arrangements).
Since the first 10 days we've never spent the night in the same room except in hotel rooms when traveling. I did like the option of having a bed in his room and occasionally when he was really tiny I'd sleep in there after his 4 AM feeding instead of going back to my own bed. So I will probably do the same for #2 (own crib with nearby bed or couch or cozy recliner for parent for rough nights).

30
Anne
Apr 09, 2013

I'd recommend a Moses Basket too as they are portable so you can have the baby near you when they sleep during the day and at night and also if you go out in the evening. Although car seats are great for older babies to sleep in it is better if very small babies lie flat so a basket is better for naps when you're out.

It is a good idea to keep purchases to a minimum I think until you get the hang of things and know what you need. Although, that said, my husband was in Mothercare soon after our first was born and while queuing to pay, another dad looked into his basket and said: 'You're going to need a lot more cotton wool than that.' Turns out he was right! I lived in bloody Mothercare for the first few months!

31
Ashley
Apr 09, 2013

I think my original comment got flagged as spam (basically, it was a long spiel on why I preferred to have him in his own crib in his own room from day one). But I wanted to add that for my peace of mind a video monitor was critical for having him in his own room. That way I could always see what he was doing while he was asleep. I spent a lot of time in the first few months staring at the image closely to make sure I could see him breathing. :-)
Bonus: It's still useful now that he's a toddler because I can see what in the world he's doing in there that's making so much racket when he's supposed to be napping.

32
Anna Louisa
Apr 09, 2013

Does anyone have experience with hanging bassinets? The idea is that babies sleep through the night better because when they wake up, the rocking helps soothe them back to sleep. They're really common in Europe, but I don't see many people using them here!

www.anna-bird.com

33
JoAnn
Apr 09, 2013

I know plenty of people with wonderful, well-adjusted children who went straight to the crib. I would have done so, also, but having him right next to me meant I didn't have to get up out of bed to nurse him. Laziness, in other words, was a large factor.

We didn't get a true "bassinet". What we did get, and might be helpful to you, is a travel mini-crib (aka- pack and play) (we bought a Graco one). We had limited space, knew we would be traveling and wanted to use some efficiencies! The travel crib has an adjustable interior height and fit nicely in our room, directly next to my side of the bed. It was easy to pack and stow away when we were traveling, too!

34
Beth
Apr 09, 2013

I don't think you need a bassinet at all. You can still swaddle Hamish tightly in a blanket (which most babies love) and then just place him in his crib. I have never once had one of my 3 kids in my bedroom overnight. They are in their own crib, in their own room, from day one. That said, here is the BEST advice I could ever give to a new mom: "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth is the best sleep book for babies on the planet, hands down! You should get it and read it immediately! It is WONDERFUL! Not kidding.

(Good luck with everything! I love your blog!)

35
erose
Apr 09, 2013

You can definitely put the baby straight into the crib. A bassinet is not at all necessary. However, I really did appreciate having a bassinet, because it is really nice to be able to just reach over and pull the baby into bed with you to nurse and then hand him over to Dad for the diaper change. When you're feeding every two hours, every possible second of extra sleep helps.

36
Laura
Apr 09, 2013

Congratulations by the way! Swaddling a newborn makes them feel warm and secure so putting them straight into a cot shouldn't worry you. Everyone has their own preferences, but that's what I did with both of my girls and they both have really good sleep habits now that they're that bit older (6 and 3.5!). Like you their room was close to ours, plus we had a baby monitor in there so I could absolutely hear if they were unsettled etc, plus I grew to treasure the small, but significant distance it created for a few short hours in those early days. Newborns are hard work! All the best and congrats again :)

37
Kathleen
Apr 09, 2013

If I had to do it over I'd get a bassinet for the first little bit. I would have made nursing at night easier plus I would have gotten more sleep.

38
Daisy
Apr 09, 2013

I have an almost 10 week old infant and I had the same "where will it sleeeep" question (we didn't know if we were having a boy or girl) for a good part of my pregnancy. Ultimately we bought a pack n' play (needed for travel/nanny share/etc anyway) that had a basinett insert which is pretty much fancy speak for raising the mattress up to a nice, high level. The pack n play is by the bed and I can reach over in the middle of the night to pop her pacifier back in, see if she is *really* hungry or just making some noise and generally survey the situation without having to get out from under the covers. That and the whole "baby sleeping near his or her mama" can reduce SIDS and promote breastfeeding, so hey, why not? (Not saying parents who go straight to the crib don't care about such things, it is just a nice added bonus for us.)

In a few months she will go to her crib (which isn't even set up yet as we are moving soon) and all will be well. The only advice I'd really have is if you get something for him to sleep in intitially, make sure it is a flat surface so the crib transition is easy-peasy when the time comes.

39
Kate
Apr 09, 2013

Oh man, a pregnant lady asking for advice on child-rearing on the internet. You're brave.

But safety wise, you can do either. But I would say that newborn babes DO tend to sleep easier in smaller spaces those first crazy weeks.

I will ALSO chime in to say that regardless of whether you plan to breast or bottle feed, "right next door" becomes the veritable green mile for the fourth time in the middle of the night. A cosleeper or basinette next to your bed is MUCH MUCH MUCH easier. Either way, you'll figure out pretty quickly what works best for you, and it's relatively easy to get what you need in a hurry!

40
Tamara
Apr 09, 2013

I had an unexpected c section so having Moses in his Moses basket right next to me made things so much easier because I was so limited movement wise. And it was mobile so he could sleep in the kitchen. Or the living room. Or his own room! But whatever you decide the Moses basket is an easy Amazon click away if you realize you need it after you get home.

41
bessie.viola
Apr 09, 2013

Hello! I do not usually comment (although I read often and think you are hilarious and awesome) but I had to, of course, because BABY! SLEEP!

I have a 5yr old daughter and a 4 month old son. For my daughter, I thought we'd just put her in her crib. I was so very wrong. She wanted to be snuggled and swaddled. One night in utter desperation we stuck her in her carseat and there she slept. For the first four months of her life. We felt bad about it at first, and then we just went to sleep, glorious sleep! (Google will tell you that our daughter probably should have strangled herself on the straps of the seat, but a blanket over top of them solved that and she's stull walking around today, so all's well that ends well.)

So, if you want something a little more advanced than THAT, I recommend the Fisher Price Rock & Play. My son Luke LOVES that thing and I'm pretty sure it's going to college with him. It was nice to have in the bedroom, too; I have to have c-sections and that was easy to keep near to the bed, cutting down on number of times up/down in the night when I was still recovering. When he was small we also swaddled him using a Woombie. He loved that and slept really well that way until he discovered his hands/that he wanted his hands in his mouth ALL THE TIME.

(Also, if you are planning on nursing, the Woombie is so so helpful for that. Confines their little flailing arms like noone's business, especially re above: hands in mouth, all the time.)

Some people think that doing something "else" first means that they'll never sleep in their crib, but eh. One night my daughter just didn't want to sleep in the carseat anymore and so we put her into her crib and that was that. I'm assuming/hoping that we'll get to the same point with my son.

Good luck! Sorry for writing a novel in your comments!

42
Therese
Apr 09, 2013

Do you need a bassinet, co-sleeper, moses basket, etc.? Technically no. I will say that I did have my babies sleep in my room the first few months. I did this for 2 reasons. One, I was nursing and it's just faster/easier access to nurse every few hours when you can roll over or walk just a few feet. Second, I was paranoid and was uncomfortable with the baby being down the hall. Our room was big enough that we just set up the pack-n-play with the bassinet attachment. If you don't have much space (which you alluded to) another option is a little "bouncy chair" (as we called it). That can sit in the floor next to your bed. I liked that because I could strap the baby in and carry him/her (used for both kids) around the house. As they got older, I could attach the mobile bar for entertainment purposes.

43
Cobwebs
Apr 09, 2013

We got the Pack 'n Play Playard (this thing: http://www.amazon.com/Graco-Pack-Travel-Playard-Green/dp/B005UV0UEA) which comes with a detachable bassinet. Our son slept in that in a corner of our bedroom for the first couple of months and then we transitioned him into his crib. The Playard is nice, since you can break it down and stuff it into its carrying case for car trips, and you have an insta-corral when you need it.

44
Julie
Apr 09, 2013

Get a Graco pack-and-play. It's a travel crib/playpen with an insert at bassinet/changing-table height. We used it in our room when both kids were born, then as a playpen. We took it to hotels and used it when friends put their kids down for naps at our house. We even went camping with it. We used it for years. I recommend it to everyone.

45
karen
Apr 09, 2013

Hi Holly! I'm about 17 weeks pregnant with kid #2 and was recently reflecting on all the useless stuff we got for kid #1 (worst thing: mamaroo baby swing thing - will get a proper bulky fisher price one this time that actually may prove useful). Best purchase: Fisher‑Price Newborn Rock 'N Play.

Baby napped in the rock n play and it would lightly rock with her own movement if she fussed a bit and put her right back to sleep! Looks like they have newer, cushier versions now (older dd is 2 now).

For the first week we had the baby sleeping at night in our room in the bassinet insert of a pack n play and then moved her to her own room/crib and we all slept better that way (I was going and picking her up when I thought she was waking up and really she was just making normal baby sleep noises and my picking her up was then waking her up and pissing her off - at least if I heard her on the monitor and walked across the hall to her room, she would be sound asleep by the time I got there).

We got one of those lame mesh breatheable bumpers last time but this time I'm getting the best and safest and cutest kind - wonder bumpers! http://www.gomamagodesigns.com/wonder-bumpers

46
Kathleen Ojo @ My Ojos
Apr 09, 2013

It really depends on your kid - I tried cosleeping with my daughter for two weeks, and it didn't work out at all. Newborns are noisy sleepers! She kept me awake with all her sighs and snuffles, and I in turn would wake her up because I was misinterpreting her sleeping sounds for awake sounds. We both slept much better when we moved her to her crib in her own room. It didn't impact breastfeeding at all - but then again, I had a kid who was sleeping 7-8 hours at a stretch and only waking to eat twice a night from 2 weeks old.

Every baby is different. It might be nice to have a pack and play or a cosleeper available just in case you need it. And if you don't, you can pack it away and take it with you on vacations!

47
Meghan
Apr 09, 2013

I think some babies do just fine in a crib straight away. I had a bassinet for both of my boys, but only because my mom found one second hand for me. They both spent a bit of time in our bed as well. But I was breastfeeding and it was just easier than having to get out of bed and go to their room. I'm lazy. I second those about the pack n plays. That is what my boys slept in at the grandparents house and they loved it. They're affordable and the fold up well to be stored, portable, etc. Oh,and someone gave us this bouncy seat when we had our second: http://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-W0413-Cruisin-Motion-Soother/dp/B0054... It was genius for naps.

48
Heather
Apr 09, 2013

Wow, lots of great comments! A-to-the-men on going with what works for baby. My guy is eight months and he sleeps best with full body contact. We're weighing pros & cons of a king size mattress and becoming full on cosleepers. But! I have plenty of friends who say no one in their house got a full night's sleep until the baby went down in his crib (full disclosure -- we don't own a crib, we have a Montessori floor bed set up; baby sleeps in there by himself the first half of the night). My best advice is to have several options available and see what works. We bought our mini cosleeper off Craigslist for $25 and a swing for $65. Both awesome purchases and I fully expect to get 100% return when I sell them myself.

49
Heather
Apr 09, 2013

And I will also say we love the Chicco Keyfit 30. For the first 8 weeks I was convinced we had wasted our money and ought to have gone straight to a convertible seat. But then the baby started sleeping while being moved. Last week he fell asleep during errands, stayed asleep through the transfer to the car & the trip home, through the stop at home & trip to restaurant, through the meal & walk next door to frozen yogurt shop, and woke up at the end of dessert for his first taste of froyo. Of course in this as in all things YMMV; my niece won't sleep anywhere but a bed. Ever. But to my original point, the Chicco really is super easy to install. We previously had helped friends install car seats which took close to half an hour. Initial install was about five minutes and I can swap the base to a new car in under two.

50
Jessica
Apr 09, 2013

Personally, we put baby in crib right away (of course after a couple of sleepless nights where we thought we had to hold her all night). Her room is right next door so it's super close. Also I highly recommend the Mom's on Call book (momsoncall.com) Creating a schedule for the baby was key for us.

51
Ante
Apr 09, 2013

Have you joined golden gate mother's group? It's a group for SF parents and it has an awesome baby classifieds section online. You can buy for cheap or borrow from other moms nearby. also, you're welcome to borrow our arm's reach cosleeper bedside bassinet if you want. We're in the outer Richmond, I'm home most days with our 14 month old, email me and you can come by and grab it.

52
Lindsey
Apr 09, 2013

I used a Pack 'n' Play with a bassinet level. HUGE plus for middle-of-the-night feedings when I basically existed in my bedroom for the first week or so (post c-section, breastfeeding). Might just be me, but the walk to the other room seemed daunting :-)

53
Jordan
Apr 09, 2013

We had a bassinet, but he didn't like to sleep in it. He either slept swaddled in his crib (with many, many trips across the hall for the first several weeks to breastfeed) or he slept with me on the couch, our bed or the chair in his room! Basically wherever he would fall asleep and stay asleep. I was SUPER PARANOID about rolling over on him and didn't fully sleep like that though but all turned out okay. He's been sleeping/napping in his crib like a champ since 3 months though he occasionally slept with us after night feedings until I had to stop breastfeeding at 6 months.

Baby snuggles really are the best... Do whatever works for you, and don't let anyone make you feel bad about it!

54
Kristin H
Apr 09, 2013

We went straight to crib, though I think it really does just depend on the baby. You could always start him out in the crib and if that doesn't work, get something different after he is born. We swaddled. It really did help the kids sleep better.

It's funny how having a baby flips on a switch in your brain so you hear every single noise they make, even when you're sleeping. I never could have had them in my room with me. Babies are seriously noisy! I would put earplugs in and I *still* could hear anything serious going on. Earplugs were great though, because they blocked out the tiny, non-worrisome sounds. (Can you tell I recommend earplugs?)

55
Kat Hart
Apr 09, 2013

Whatever bed you use you should consider the Miracle Blanket. I loved those.

56
DearWendy
Apr 09, 2013

We had a convertible bassinet-crib (Arrington is the brand), but it turned out that the only thing the baby would sleep in in the first three months was a bouncy chair (with the bottom half of a JJ Cole bundle beneath him). It was always embarrassing when people would while we were putting him to "bed" and see what he was actually sleeping in, but as you will soon learn, you do whatever it takes in those first few months to get some rest. There's no right or wrong -- it's what works for you, your family, and of course, your baby. He'll have a mind of his own from day one and won't be shy about letting you know what he likes and what he doesn't like.

57
Stephanie
Apr 09, 2013

I used the Arm's reach mini-cosleeper (http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3069590) and loved it. My daughter slept in it until she was about 4 months old. Since then I have had three friends borrow it for the first few months and they all loved it as well.

All the arguments regarding SIDS aside, I think you will find that once you get home from the hospital you will just want baby next to you.

58
Jessica
Apr 09, 2013

Fisher Price Rock & Play. Trust me. Easy to transport, take to the beach, and for all of $50. Get your parents to buy one for their house. My kids both went into their cribs around a month, but if their rooms had been next to ours, I might have done that earlier!

Stroller frame is the best idea. I loved ours, obnoxiously so.

59
Kerry
Apr 09, 2013

We also used a pack-and-play at the higher level, and then around 6 months, had to lower it. Yes, she is still sleeping next to me, I never thought it would go on this long, but it is so nice to be next to her to be able to peek over and see how she is doing. We need to make the transition to her own room now, though, because she is totally distracted by us now that she is more aware of her surroundings.

We liked the idea of the pack and play, because you need one anyway for travel and so it was one less extra thing we had to buy.

60
agirlandaboy
Apr 09, 2013

I may be wrong, but I *think* the whole Moses basket thing is mostly done because it's precious to look at and not because it's in any way necessary. In the interests of saving on space and money, I'd say just use a Pack 'n' Play if you feel the need for something smaller than a crib (although they're smaller just barely). I imagine you'll want one of those anyway (for travel! for taking the baby to dinner parties! for the backyard!), so you won't actually need to buy anything extra.

That said, Moses baskets look darling in photos and could be used to store some of Hamish's stuffed animals or the 412 blankets you're likely to get as gifts.

61
Mary
Apr 09, 2013

I don't see the point of Moses baskets, because I think they grow out of them lightening quick (although they're the cutest!) I'm intrigued by the cosleeper, but I haven't tried it. We put up a pack n play, which we needed to own anyway for trips to grandparents, with the drop in "bassinet" which is where he slept for the first 6 weeks or so. You don't think it's a long walk to the room next door, but at 3 am, it really is!

62
A'Dell
Apr 09, 2013

You will get all sorts of thoughts on the sleeping topic but here is what we did:

1. Claire slept in her room, in her crib from the start because in that small house her crib was (very literally) less than ten steps from my side of the bed. And I didn't know babies weren't "SUPPOSED" to sleep in their cribs from the start either and she turned out fine. (So far.)

2. Charlotte slept in a pack and play in our bedroom (in the new house) swaddled tightly until her reflux started up and then she slept in a swing, very upright, very medicated and it was awful for everyone until we got DRUGS SWEET DRUGS.

3. Preston sleeps in that Rock n Play thing that is new on the market and SWEET BABY JESUS that thing is fantastic. he's 11 weeks old now and still sleeps in it, though he splits his time between it and a pack n play and my very own bed for daytime naps. He hates to be swaddled and he adores sleeping on his side/stomach which is a big no-no generalyl speaking but he's safe and I check on him and HE LIKES IT AND SLEEPS A LONG TIME THAT WAY. (12 hours last night! UNHEARD OF! MIRACLE THIRD BABY!)

All of this to say, I'd get the rock n play because I don't think you have tons and tons of space in your house and it's small and compact and does the job of keeping him handy while small. The rocking part is also awesome. Borrow one if at all possible. (Preston is sleeping in a pink one.)

63
Christina
Apr 09, 2013

I didn't get a wink of sleep until a friend of mine sent me a copy of The Happiest Baby on the Block and a swaddle blanket.

We had a bassinet next to the bed. She was swaddled up tightly in there until about 3 months or so... then we wheeled the bassinet right into her room. Then about a week later we plunked her into the crib. We had an easy time but it doesn't always work like that!

64
Larita
Apr 09, 2013

Had a bassinet for the first one,which ended up being a catch-all beside the bed where he slept for the first couple weeks before I moved him to sleeping in the middle of a double bed (yes, please feel free to gasp. I swear he never fell off) across the hall when he started waking up every time my husband turned over. #2 slept in a bassinet on th other side of my room for 7 months, only because someone gave it to me and it seemed more legit than the floor, plus I didn't have room for a crib. You may feel better having the baby with you th first couple weeks, in which case a blanket on the floor beside the bed totally works.

65
LizP
Apr 09, 2013

Someone already mentioned the Pack N Play with the removable bassinet and gave you a link. That's what we used with both of our kids. The nice thing about the PnP is it is mobile ... not only in your house, but you can take it with you out of the house. So Hamish can sleep in 'his' bed anywhere.

That being said ... your baby will tell you what he wants. He may like being swaddled in a dresser drawer. He may like no blanket in a crib. My son loved being swaddled. My daughter was unzipping her one piece footie pajamas to sleep in just a diaper as soon as she could manipulate the zipper.

66
Sara
Apr 09, 2013

I loved having our daughter right next to our bed for the first couple months. It was great to be able to watch her sleep and made me feel a lot more secure. It also made middle of the night feedings a breeze. I just rolled over, pulled her into bed with us, nursed and then put her back in her bed. We used an Arm's Reach co-sleeper, but a regular pack n play with a bassinet option or a standard bassinet would work fine too. The Arm's Reach comes in a mini size which should work since you only really need it for the first couple months. Lots of people go straight to a crib in a nursery though. It all comes down to your personal situation and you and your baby's personality :) I think deciding where she was going to sleep and which car seat/stroller to get where the hardest decisions we made!

67
Abby
Apr 09, 2013

Definitely get a co-sleeper, especially if you plan to nurse. Unless you are one of those really lucky people, the baby will wake up one million times a night, and you don't want to have to get out of bed every time. (I hope you are one of those lucky people, but be prepared just in case!)

68
jen
Apr 09, 2013

I love being pregnant the same time as you, Holly. You are asking all the same questions but have about 900 more readers willing to offer advice. :)
Regarding comment #32 (Anna Louise?) and the hanging baby hammock/basket: a lot of people in my area have used them and I'm going to give it a whirl. The concept is you swaddle them and there is no mattress (so, no turning over) and the hammock hangs at an incline so they don't have the acid reflux/colic issues. Then as they move, it gently bounces and sways and mimics they feeling and movement of being in the womb. Who knows if it will work for my baby? All I know is that several friends and other moms have sworn by it - "baby was sleeping straight through from the day we came home!" type of testimonial. That's enough for me. I'm planning to hang it in the baby room which is right next to our room, though I'm all about doing whatever is easiest and makes the baby sleep. I think it's going to be different for everyone.
For what it's worth - seems like the Fisher Price Rock & Play thing is a winner. I might get one as a backup. :)

69
CM
Apr 09, 2013

Honestly, this really depends on you and your baby's nursing + sleeping habits and needs. Mostly the answer to this question is "what will get everyone the most sleep"? For our first, who nursed all-the-time, the answer was cosleeping (which we weren't against, but didn't plan to do). For our second, who had less demanding nursing needs and was a better sleeper, the answer was the awesome Fisher Price Rock & Play rocker. It's WONDERFUL. Again, different temperments, different nursers, etc. I think the best thing I internalized was to be prepared, but like with the stroller, there is only so much you can know ahead of time and b/c babies and nursing/feeding/sleeping experiences are so different, there is a lot that you will have to feel-out for the two/three of you.

70
Home Sweet Sarah
Apr 09, 2013

I see a couple people above have mentioned the Fisher Price Rock and Play Sleeper and AMEN to that. I didn't really have anything planned ("She'll sleep in her crib! I don't need anything else!") and then she didn't sleep in her crib (she didn't like being flat on her back, but how the hell were WE supposed to know that?) and luckily, at about 2-days-old (and all of us having gotten zero sleep), our behind-us neighbor walked through the backyard (our fence had fallen down weeks before! we hadn't gotten around to fixing it because...NEWBORN!) and brought us a new baby present (uhh, the Rock and Play, obviously) and for the next three months, our life was changed. I cannot recommend it enough, honestly. It's relatively inexpensive, lightweight (so you can move it from room-to-room for all your baby-containment needs), and you can lie in bed, half asleep, using your foot to rock it to and fro.

That was a lot of words about the Rock and Play, wow.

Anyway, a friend gave me some invaluable advice before I had LG and that was: For the first three months of your child's life, it does not matter WHERE they sleep, it just matters THAT they sleep. If that means in the crib, in a swing, in your bed, in their carseat for god's sake (although there might be time limits to that -- no one yell at me!), all that matters is that they are sleeping. So, you know, try out many different sleeping apparatuses and see what works for you...err, Hamish. And Amazon Prime ships quickly if you need a new child containment device ;-)

LONGEST COMMENT EVER, sorry.

71
Shelley
Apr 09, 2013

Either will work - I used a bassinet the first few weeks with all my kids because I was sleeping on the couch. They also slept sometimes in their car seats when they would not sleep in their cribs. But it's something you can get at 3a.m. some night if you need it - (or really, the next morning : ) definitely not a must-have. (Mom of three little boys.)

72
dani
Apr 09, 2013

We put our baby straight into her crib but had the crib in our room. Stella's a ridiculously good sleeper so I'm not sure how it works for fickle sleepers but I would absolutely recommend it. I mean, worst case is that Hamish doesn't like it and you move to cosleeper/bassinet/pack n play/rock n play. Best case is he can sleep in there and you'll never have to deal with the stress of getting him to learn how to sleep in the crib. I liked the ease of having Stella in our room in the beginning but we moved her around six weeks when she started sleeping rough the nigh (like I said, ridiculously good sleeper).

73
Rita
Apr 09, 2013

I had my daughter at CPMC, and it was fine, though...it's still a hospital. We lucked out and got one of the rooms that was formerly a double but is no longer--it meant my husband had an actual bed to sleep in, which was fantastic. I think they try and reserve them for C-sections since you're stuck at the hospital longer, but it's worth asking about if you remember and are not drugged out. I too had heard great things about the celebratory dinner, but I was pretty disappointed. I was much happier when the husband ran to the Rigolo Cafe in Laurel Village and came back with a nicoise baguette and their onion rings (which are amazing).

We got a free bassinet, and I'm thrilled it cost us nothing because between two kids, they probably had a total of five hours sleeping in it. Both of them hated it like crazy. I was one of those women who swore that no child would ever sleep in my bed with me, which lasted till all of her first night home with us--turns out that you'll let them sleep wherever they'll sleep! She slept with us for a couple of months and then transitioned seamlessly into her crib. Other than a crib, I wouldn't both investing in other bed-type things besides a Pack-n-Play, which has gotten tons of use between both kids.

74
Laura
Apr 09, 2013

There really is no answer for you now. You wont know till your living it. I use a bassinet some but the truth is our baby sleeps with us quite a bit. We were concerned about the safety of it but pediatrician confirmed as long as we had no sleep disorders (well, aside from a newborn, which trust me, qualifies) and weren't under the influence of alcohol or meds it was fine. Baby looks so tiny and lonely in the crib and didn't sleep or eat well during the nights we tried it. Will give it a go again in a few weeks hoping the additional growth and development will make the crib a more comforting place to sleep. Who knows though, your little guy might take to the crib from the get-go.

75
Sara
Apr 09, 2013

Oh, and I second the recommendation for the book Happiest Baby on the Block - it's great!

76
Ivy
Apr 09, 2013

I agree with everything that Robin said (comment #14)

The nursery doubled as a guest room for those early months (we had a bassinet in our bedroom), so that when it was time to transition her to the crib, there was already a twin bed in there. It came in handy for those late night feedings where I just didn't have the energy to walk back down the hallway to my own bed.

77
Lynleyloftin
Apr 09, 2013

The Rock n Play sleeper, well, ROCKS!! I wish I'd had it when we brought my daughter home. We got ours when she was 2 months old and used it until she could practically crawl out of it. We inherited a bassinet/co sleeper from a friend, so Eryn slept in that in our room for the first six months, but so she'd be more cozy, we added a newborn basket Boppy. It was awesome!

Best of luck to you guys....Hamish is one lucky kid!

78
Jeannie
Apr 09, 2013

I haven't read any other comments because I feel I can speak so well to your questions that I don't want my experiences to be tainted by anyone else's comments. Who am I?!

First off, I popped my daughter Clara out at CPMC in 2011. I skipped the tour because I was familiar with the location and my first tour date was cancelled. All I remember about the celebratory meal was THERE WAS NO CHAMPAGNE! Wtf???? Not that I wanted it really. I was so out of it, I just wanted to sleep. I am thinking about it now wondering if I didn't get booze because I caved and had the epidural (and anything else they'd give me). My husband just reminded me that the meal was incredibly mediocre.

I will say what everybody else says, the nurses at CPMC are amazing and wonderful. One of our nurses actually delivered our baby and successfully handled some umbilical cord wrapped tightly around the neck craziness like a champ. I can confidently say that you, Sean, and Hamish will be in excellent care.

As for the stroller, we bought a Graco snug ride with the Graco brand snap n go. It worked perfectly for us. We live in a fairly small SF apartment and opted to buy a Pack n Play with the bassinet insert thingie. We had Clara in our room, next to our bed, for the first 3-4 months. We still use the pack n play when we travel locally and our nanny share baby still uses it everyday at our house. We have no regrets about either of these purchases. I would say with confidence that you are way more aesthetically sophisticated than I am and would probably prefer the look of a bassinet.

So happy for you guys!!

79
Katrina
Apr 09, 2013

We had a moses basket and put that IN the cot. So baby was safe and comfortable and it meant transitioning from basket to cot was easy as everything was familiar. Bonus of a moses basket is how easily portable it is not only around the house but also taking baby along to friends and family. He will be comfortable sleeping anywhere if he is in his own bed. Our second child had reflux and the moses basket became worth its weight in gold when we realized swinging the basket put him instantly to sleep (a tip I hope you don't end up needing)

80
Angela
Apr 09, 2013

Our little guy is three weeks old now and though I had initially thought I'd put him right in the crib - I don't think there's anything at all wrong with that - I do find it's more convenient for middle-of-the-night feedings to have him in our room. If such things interest you, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that newborn babies be in the room with you, for some kind of safety reasons. We were handed down a pack and play with a bassinet insert, so he's in that until he's eating less frequently during the night (I'm breastfeeding - I assume if you bottle feed it's probably less crucial since you have to go out to the kitchen anyway). You wouldn't think it makes a difference, just one room over, but it does. Seriously. You are about to be SO TIRED. Sometimes at 3am walking to the next room over to change his diaper seems so far away. It's all about what makes you most comfortable - whatever you choose to do will be fine!

81
Becca
Apr 10, 2013

When I was pregnant I was given a very old very beautiful bassinet that by the time my daughter was born was simply a huge ridiculous waste of space. (I live in a small city row home - so space is a luxury I don't really possess). I do think there is a benefit of having your baby in your room for the first couple weeks when they need to eat approximately every 46 minutes while you are trying to sleep. Its a big time saver to be able to reach over pick him up instead of getting up and going next door. I ended up buying this: http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=18165856 and it was awesome - small and portable and easy to store. I could carry it up and down the stairs and take it outside because my daughter LOVED to sleep on our porch. I would highly recommend it.

82
Melissa
Apr 10, 2013

I nursed my daughter while lying in bed. However,
one night I fell asleep without placing her back in her bassinet.
I awoke to her cries bc she had rolled under my husbands' back!
Biggest scare of my life. No one can fully control themselves during sleep, so
why not keep baby close in their own space/bassinet? You'll relax and sleep better too.

83
laziza
Apr 10, 2013

You can totally do either. In my experience, I got more sleep having them in our room at night. (We bed-shared.) It helps you get back to sleep quicker after feeding if you never even had to get out of bed in the first place. You might try something like this, which can go right in the bed with you but might make you feel a little more secure: http://www.amazon.com/First-Years-Close-Secure-Sleeper/dp/B00012CHFI/ref...

84
shayna
Apr 10, 2013

The Littlest Sugarplum is 9 weeks old, and for reasons that are irrelevant and complicated, we actually had a moses basket lying around long before she arrived, so we used that. Also, I think moses baskets are darling. However, she started to get to be too big for the basket a week or so ago. We started talking about when/how to move her to the crib, but hadn't yet pulled the trigger. Then, one night last week, my husband put her in the crib, figuring we'd move her at some point... but then everyone went to sleep, there she stayed, and she's been sleeping there at night ever since without a single issue. Full disclosure: she's been a good night sleeper since the get-go, and the crib is also in our room, but in retrospect, there really was no need to have the basket. I thought it would be much handier to have her right next to our bed in the early weeks, but I still had to get mostly up to get her out of the basket. If I had to walk to another room, maybe I'd feel differently, but for us, there's not much difference between the basket and crib.

85
Sarah
Apr 10, 2013

You clearly have more than enough advice about the moses basket/cot decision but I will put my two cents in anyway....

It is nice to have easy access to baby right next to your bed for the first week or so as you will be feeding so often and sometimes it is a bit painful to move about too much. BUT you will be amazed at how noisy those little tikes can be when they sleep. There is so much snuffling and snorting and deep breathing and shallow breathing and...you will go crazy listening to it all and wondering what it all means!

It is perfectly healthy and normal to move baby to his own room in his cot (just plop the moses basket right in the cot so he feels snugger). Everyone will sleep better.

And just remember that everyone does it differently and it's all okay. Find your own way. Wishing you the best!

86
Meike
Apr 10, 2013

Advice on this topic ist difficult, because obviously every baby has their own sleeping/feeding habits. I had a co-sleeper for both of my children and loved it; I had them close to me but they were not actually in my bed (I would have been scared to accidentally roll onto them).
One thing I was "missing" in all the previous comments: in Germany it is officially recommended to keep newborn babies in the parents' bedroom for at least 6 months; apparently it lessens the risk of SIDS if the baby hears the sound of your breathing. Is this not commonly the case in the US?

87
Elizabeth
Apr 10, 2013

Not that you really need one more voice, but we kept our first two girls in a pack-and-play with the high-up sleeper added thingy for the first six weeks or so at the end of our bed at night, but my mom insisted that we do a little crib training during the day for naps (and pretend naps, and a few minutes of be-independent-look-at-your-mobile-time) and that was a great piece of advice, because the crib wasn't evil or scary then. Baby #3's bedroom was so close to ours in that particular house that it seemed ridiculous to put her in the pack-and-play, so she just slept in her crib. Or with us. Because, you know, baby #3 = survival. : )

88
Kristin
Apr 10, 2013

It totally depends on the baby. We have a family heirloom bassinet that my daughter slept in (in our room at first, then moved to her room) for about a month, then when she started wiggling we moved her to her bed. My youngest wasn't having any of it. He would cry the second his head hit that bassinet mattress. He never slept in it. We didn't have a crib set up for him because we assumed he'd use the bassinet for a while, so that first night he ended up sleeping on me (BIG MISTAKE) to this day, that kid (3 years old) tries to sleep on me. Don't get me wrong, I love love love his snuggles. But I would like one full night of sleep once in a while, that doesn't require me to go out of town. He ended up sleeping best in the snuggly thing that attached to his pack in play. We used that for about 6 weeks, then moved him to his bed. My advice: borrow what you can until you can figure out your infants likes/dislikes and needs.

89
kelly
Apr 10, 2013

both of our daughters were born on NYC (read: small spa eat home), so we registered for a pack n play. we knew we'd use it on various weekend trips away, and bonus, we put it at the foot of our bed after each daughter was born, and it stayed there until they slept in their crib at night. nearly 6 years and 2 kids later, the pack n play is among my few, must-have recommendations for new parents. we ultimately bought a second one for my mom's house the bay area and used that one an unbelievable amount, too.
my two other recommendations for new parents: 1) an ergo carrier 2) a mclaren stroller.
go city mama! hamish will be here before you know it. enjoy this time.

90
Andrea
Apr 10, 2013

Clearly you have no shortage of advice here, but my tuppence, for what it's worth: we had our little guy in a bassinet (actually the bassinet part of our stroller - the uppababy vista) at our bed height (i.e. plonked atop a box) for the first 3.5 months. We then moved him to his crib and to his own room. We tried swaddling for a few days but Henry was such a wriggler that he wasn't settled until he had worked one or the other arm free so we gave that up early on.

The room sharing worked for us for the reasons a lot of people give above: I could roll over, pick him up, put him in bed beside me and then go back to dozing while he nursed (if you are planning to BF, I highly recommend trying to get going with a side lying latch as soon as you can - life saver). But clearly we were lucky as he slept well, didn't have reflux/colic issues (although I did cut out all dairy for the first 6 months to help with that), and made a smooth-ish transition to his own room.

As a related aside the thing that REALLY saved my nighttime sanity was getting going with pumping at about 3 or 4 weeks. Hub would then give a bottle for the first feed of the night, usually around 1am, so I could sleep from when I went to bed at the shockingly early time of 8.30ish till 3 or so when I did the next feed. Pumping was a bit of a pain in the backside but my word I would take it for that stint of sleep for sure.

And, finally, as a couple of other people said, it barely matters how they sleep for the first 3 months so long as they do sleep. It all changes not long after that no matter what you do.

Post new comment

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.

More information about formatting options

CAPTCHA
Just to make sure you have a pulse
Image CAPTCHA
Enter the characters (without spaces) shown in the image.