I got catcalled on the street the other day by a busker outside a bar. It was just your garden variety catcall, complete with the sort of questionable grammar—"you sexy!"—that surely always gets the ladies whipping out their dayplanners to take down your phone number immediately, but it was notable for the fact that it was prefaced by two very, very, very unexpected words.
That's right. Somebody tried to get my attention on the street by shouting "Hey, mom! You sexy!"
I have so many questions about this. First of all, did I look like his mom, or just a mom in general? Second of all, is there somebody in his life who could take him gently aside and explain the Oedipal complex? Third of all, did he actually think it would work?
Before you ask, it wasn't "hey, mama!" or "hey, mami!" It was definitely, unequivocally, no-bones-about-it "hey, mom!" I don't think I'd even have minded much if I'd been carrying a baby or something—or even a diaper bag! A stroller! An unopened pregnancy test!—but the only thing I was holding was a purse with a laptop in it. I wasn't even wearing jeans!
It's truly mystifying, but I've decided to be flattered by it. Clearly, I looked unruffled and in control, the sort of person adept at giving time-outs without breaking a sweat. I really think that guy might want to look into a couple of different lines, though. Or maybe therapy.