Hey Girl Hey

I got catcalled on the street the other day by a busker outside a bar. It was just your garden variety catcall, complete with the sort of questionable grammar—"you sexy!"—that surely always gets the ladies whipping out their dayplanners to take down your phone number immediately, but it was notable for the fact that it was prefaced by two very, very, very unexpected words. 

Hey, mom! 

That's right. Somebody tried to get my attention on the street by shouting "Hey, mom! You sexy!"

I have so many questions about this. First of all, did I look like his mom, or just a mom in general? Second of all, is there somebody in his life who could take him gently aside and explain the Oedipal complex? Third of all, did he actually think it would work? 

Before you ask, it wasn't "hey, mama!" or "hey, mami!" It was definitely, unequivocally, no-bones-about-it "hey, mom!" I don't think I'd even have minded much if I'd been carrying a baby or something—or even a diaper bag! A stroller! An unopened pregnancy test!—but the only thing I was holding was a purse with a laptop in it. I wasn't even wearing jeans! 

It's truly mystifying, but I've decided to be flattered by it. Clearly, I looked unruffled and in control, the sort of person adept at giving time-outs without breaking a sweat. I really think that guy might want to look into a couple of different lines, though. Or maybe therapy. 

1
Anna Louisa
Jul 03, 2012

Haha...this was a great way to start the morning :). Makes me wonder what would have happened had you just replied "Hey, son!" (though that still leaves the Oedipus complex unaddressed...)

www.anna-bird.com

2
Harriett
Jul 03, 2012

LOL

I think catcalls are just funny. Seriously, how many times does it actually work.

Hey Momma -- I think is supposed to be about your inner fertility goddess potential, but I dunno.

Funny blog.

3
Krysta
Jul 03, 2012

Ha! Even though it wasn't the "hey mama" or "hey mami" I think it was still slang, although what do I know anyway?

4
Samantha
Jul 03, 2012

Totally thought this was about to start a different kind of story... ;)

5
Lindsey
Jul 03, 2012

My thought is that it must work some percentage of the time, or it would have died off (the man with the sweet nothings wins and procreates!) So what we need to do is start a campaign encouraging girls to "Just keep walking! Do not acknowledge, do not not smile, do not pass go, just keep walking!" and perhaps natural selection will do its thing.

6
laziza
Jul 03, 2012

Possible it was "Hey, mon!" all Jamaican like?

7

My husband's commander once called me "mom" and I put a stop to it right then and there, to my husband's utter embarrassment. But hey. I ain't no mom.

I'm 5'4", around 120 lbs., but I've been feeling extra bloated lately. My husband's deployed so I've maybe been snacking a bit more than usual. No big deal, right? Wrong. I've had no less than 2 people ask me over the last 3 days if I'm pregnant.

Seriously? I don't feel like I've put on that much weight, but I'm pretty sure I don't have a "glow," either.

Sigh.

I need Fritos.

8
Pretzel Thief
Jul 03, 2012

Hahahah! OMG. Take a hike, busker! And I love @laziza's suggestion, heh heh.

9
Marcheline
Jul 04, 2012

Wow. A psychic busker!

10

I would take HEY GRANDMOM even, just to get some catcalls like I used to.

11
Thespian Libby
Jul 04, 2012

At least he didn't say "have you been a doughboy all your life"...

12
Corey Lambert
Jul 08, 2012

Try living next door to The Lookout in the Castro. Dem boiz is ruff!

13
Jess
Jul 09, 2012

My favourite catcall -- of a total of about five ever -- was from a guy at a service station. I was filling my car with petrol and he was waiting to pull out into the traffic. He rolled down his window and called 'Hey! You're gorgeous. And don't let anyone tell you different.' Thanks mate. So you think I'm hot but you don't expect anyone else to agree? then there was no break in the traffic so he rolled up the window, looked the other way and sat there awkwardly for ages.

14
Mary
Jul 12, 2012

Maybe he was a reggae singer!

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