Rocky Mountain Hi

They tell you marriage is hard. They tell you it involves sacrifice and compromise. And this weekend, Internet, I found out just how true that all is. I agreed to arrive at the Denver airport five hours early so that my husband could watch the Superbowl.

Did you hear me? Five hours early? At the airport? So I could sit in a mediocre sports bar and nurse a watery beer over my Oprah magazine while barrel-chested men bumped fists around me? I'll take that medal engraved with my full name, thank you.

Eh, it wasn't really that bad. It was fine, actually. Sean was happy because the Giants won, and I was mildly amused, in a socioanthropological sort of way, by the bizarre sort of camaraderie that builds up in situations like these, even if I find it terribly awkward when grown adults suddenly hover up out of their chairs, punch the air with their hands, and start shouting things like YES, GO ALL THE WAY, FINISH IT FINISH IT without warning. People, we're in public here. I'm far more comfortable when we're all just looking at our iPhone screens and avoiding eye contact like usual.

Sean and I spent the weekend in Colorado, where it was colder than the coldest thing you could ever imagine, unless the coldest thing you could ever imagine is the ten-minute walk from downtown Breckenridge to your hotel without a hat. Then it was that cold. Three degrees, in fact, and I am not even talking in celsius, like you probably imagined I was because I'm British. No, THREE DEGREES FAHRENHEIT, friends, which is about when you start losing all feeling, including any love in your heart you once had for the person who was all "eh, let's just walk, it'll be fine." Oh, now you want me to get to the airport five hours early so you can watch the Superbowl AND you're going to make me do it without any fingers so I can't even turn the pages of my Oprah magazine? Well, I guess we finally figured out what Meatloaf wouldn't do for love.

I may not have had a hat, but at least I had a scarf that took over my entire face. Actually, that's a snood and I got it for Christmas. I like everything about it, apart from the fact that it's called a snood. Also, is it just me or does Sean look really, really stoned in this picture?

We flew into Denver on Friday night, in the middle of a snowstorm, and then we drove our car at approximately three miles an hour through the snowstorm to Boulder, where we missed the first six songs of the Lemonheads show we'd come to see and yet still somehow managed to make it into the front row (you can even see me around 7:11 and 7:25 in this video. I'm the one in the pink scarf, nodding my head awkwardly because what else do you do at concerts? I mean, that's kind of the only option, right?) At this concert—about which I have Many Feelings, by the way, like that's any surprise—I finally got to meet Heather, which was lovely, if a little unconducive to conversation. ("When did you fly in?" "WHAT?" "WHEN DID YOU FL---" "WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" "I SAID WHEN DID YOU FLY IN?" "WHAT? IT'S TOO LOUD! THE BASS!" etc etc, ad infinitum.)

On Saturday morning, we drove up to Keystone, which took about two hours, and was pretty fun, although a whole lot less fun when I accidentally misread the sign for the Colorado School of Mines and spent several miles with my face pressed up against the window, looking in earnest for classrooms full of people in striped shirts and white face paint doing "trapped in a box." (Man, talk about crushing disappointment.) We spent two days on the slopes—well, I spent one day on the slopes and one with my face buried in a large mug of hot chocolate while Sean spent it on the slopes—and then we drove back to Denver on Sunday afternoon.

And that pretty much puts us back at the airport sports bar, where we sat next to a couple who must have been in their late 70s, whose IDs the waitress nevertheless insisted on checking when the woman ordered a beer. I don't know what she thought was going to happen—that the woman was going to sneak it out back to her teenage granddaughter?—but they were fairly tickled by it nevertheless, and so was I, though not as tickled as I was when the woman stood up from her chair mid-game and started calling out "you turkey! Oh,  you silly turkey! Don't do that!" to someone on TV. (Madonna, perhaps? Take those knee-high boots off, you silly turkey! You're fooling no-one!)

On our other side was a middle-aged woman drinking a glass of Chardonnay and eating a Caesar salad off a plastic plate—probably the only person less excited than me about sitting in an airport sports bar—who leaned over, tapped Sean on the shoulder, and said "I know this is silly, but are the Patriots the ones in white? I think I know that boy's mother. We used to summer with them."

(Settle down, it wasn't Tom Brady. I double-checked.)

(Also, can we talk about how someone actually used "summer" as a verb? That happens outside of Gossip Girl?)

In conclusion, I am back from Colorado with a husband who may or may not have broken a rib snowboarding, but who is nevertheless actively trying to stop any sneeze he feels coming because "it hurts too much to sneeze." I have not unpacked, my email inbox is overflowing, and I suspect this blog post needs a jolly good edit which I shall probably not get around to. On the upside, however, I do not have to watch any more football for a whole entire year. I'm sorry if that doesn't make you as happy as it makes me. Let's still be friends anyway.

Feb 06, 2012

I often wonder what it will be that entices me into commenting on people's blogs. Turns out with you it's winter wear! I am excited to offer you an alternative to the awfully named "snood." WHAT IS THAT? Who thought that ridiculous name up? It sounds like a cartoon villain's name. It also may be a British thing, because I've only seen it on websites like TopShop. Which I browse on occasion because I live in the Canadian Prairies. Which may SEEM like a digression, but NO! It is not. Because my people are fond of winter wear (out of necessity, but still) I can tell you that over here we call those things cowls. I guess because it's a cowl neck seater without the sweater part? I do love a good cowl. Looks kind of like bowl, but doesn't sound anything like it. Hope this doubles your enjoyment of the accessory if not the weather!

Feb 07, 2012

So... were they the ones in white?

When I was an intern at an ad agency the summer after college, one of the Account Managers tried to set me up with her close family friend, Tom Brady. Seriously. It never happened for some odd reason -- I'm sure he's really bummed about it, and that he had to end up with that hideous Gisele instead. ;)

PS: I've totally been using "summer" as a verb! As in, "I think I'll summer in Marin, since San Francisco in August is as cold as a ten-minute walk from downtown Breckenridge to your hotel without a hat." Also, we were taught in sorority rush not to ask rushees where they summered. Yup. We had more important things to focus on, like our matching outfits from Express.


Pah! I laugh in the face of your three degrees Fahrenheit! On Saturday we were in Megève, in the French Alps, and it was -21°C in the middle of the day, which works out (thanks Google) at approximately -6° in Fahrenheit. IN YOUR FACE, DENVER!

Ahem. Sorry about that. I think I'm still recovering from the full-body trauma of experiencing MINUS TWENTY-ONE DEGREES. We went to a restaurant for lunch and couldn't use the toilet because it was frozen solid. Not even kidding.

I, too, have a snood that I love and call it that, because I am British. But apparently a snood in America, historically, refers to one of these bad boys, which I probably wouldn't consider wearing even if it was -100°.

Feb 07, 2012

That is about -16. That is COLD.
I thought -1 last in the UK last weekend was freezing.

Sports I don't mind, I get quite into them, especially when there is beer involved! American Football I would strugggle with as I have no clue whatsoever, of what is going on. So much stop starting!

PS. Happy Birthday to you! I think it might be today or tomorrow?!

Feb 07, 2012

I'm surprised Sean's time in the Navy didn't spoil him on wearing peacoats forever! My husband REFUSES to wear a peacoat because it feels too much like a uniform. Wierdo.

As always you two are adorable!

Feb 07, 2012

Sorry you had to experience Denver in the middle of a snowstorm...we really are (generally) a fun city to visit. :)

Rosie McDermott
Feb 07, 2012

I used to work at the Colorado School of "Mimes" - hilarious!

Feb 07, 2012

You are seriously funny. I think you deserve an award for sitting in an airport bar for 5 hours to watch men run up and down a field for little to no apparent reason.

Feb 07, 2012

Wait. My mother was in the Denver airport this weekend? Drinking a beer? Strange. She didn't mention traveling. And she never drinks beer. Perhaps she has a twin I've never heard of. This is the only explanation I can think of for someone yelling "silly turkey". It must have been her as I know of no one else who would yell that. I shall have to call her forthwith.

One Third Acre Woods
Feb 07, 2012

I think a snood sounds like something that happens after you sneeze, certainly not something I would wear on my head. I am also glad that football is over. We live in Cleveland where it is a perpetually bad subject, but that doesn't stop people from watching it and becoming depressed week after week. I must admit that I hate basketball even worse. It is almost every night and the season lasts FOREVER!

Feb 07, 2012

My best friend once dated a guy who used "summer" as a verb during the first conversation I ever had with him. I was so dumbstruck I said "I'm sorry, did you just use 'summer' as a verb?" And then he shot me a dark look while my friend laughed very hard and they broke up shortly thereafter and I felt sort of bad but not really.

Feb 07, 2012

I feel like the day after the Super Bowl should be a holiday of it's own. So HAPPY football is over.

Feb 07, 2012

So you got into Boulder for our 23 inches of snow? Lucky you!! Hoped you liked the Fox!
I spent my weekend snowshoeing in town, just because I could! Hope you can come back in the summer some time - it really is a nice town.

And we call it a cowl - I crochet, and call them cowls. Snood is a terrible name!

Feb 07, 2012

Hooray for the end of football! My hubby insisted on throwing a Superbowl party, I didn't even want to go and it was at my own house!

Feb 07, 2012

You're always funny but this was an especially witty post. Thanks. It made my lame day a little brighter. :)

D. Marie
Feb 07, 2012

Best anti-football post ever. Could not stop laughing. And I love references to summering (does that even mean the same thing in that tense?) as I do being "on holiday". Europeans always make simple stuff sound expensive (aka I'm jealous).

Feb 07, 2012

Love the iPhone case! Where did you get it?

Also, whenever I hear people talk about summering I think of the Friends episode where Phoebe pretends to have a posh accent.

Feb 07, 2012

So how was Evan Dando?

Anna Louisa
Feb 08, 2012

I come from a family of jocks so we were actually pretty excited about the Super Bowl...but we still stopped watching when it was 9:00 and switched to Downton Abbey :)

Feb 08, 2012

Hah! I'm from the East coast, where of course people summer hither and yon all the time. Never thought of the possibility of summering in San Francisco, however -- to escape the blazing heat of Cupertino ;-)

Feb 08, 2012

Holly, I don't think this post needs an edit; you are a fantastic writer. You make me laugh with your canny observations, play-by-play descriptions and witty asides. And I love that you use the phrase "in conclusion." Your style is a breath of fresh air. In short, the reason I come back again and again to your blog.

Paula in Ohio
Feb 09, 2012

My Daddy went to the Colorado School of Mines after WWII. Met my Mom in Golden, where she was working at the local soda fountain, Foss' Drug Store. He just celebrated his 86th birthday this and they've been married 57 years... He'll get a kick out of your "misread" because they're just a buncha rock nerds. ;)

Camels & Chocolate
Feb 09, 2012

We're flying into Denver tomorrow then skiing Vail. Can't believe I just barely missed you yet again! We went to Keystone last year and looooved it.

By the way, did Evan recognize you???

Feb 09, 2012

I only skimmed the comments, but am shocked that no one has commented on your hair---looove...I feel we need a picture sans 'snood' to get a real feel for it LOL Perhaps within your mascara update? Thanks for being here to brighten my days :)

Feb 09, 2012

My father, 89 at the time, was KICKED OUT of a bar he and I'd gone to midday weekday with my brother who was home visiting. We'd gone in for a beer and fries, and he didn't have an ID with. Never mind that he quickly offered to forgo the beer. When I brought it up to a bouncer at that establishment a year later, he said he'd recently sent a British WWII vet home for his passport* which did, in fact, verify he was born in 1916. Let that be a lesson to someone!

*Never mind that I've been refused service at multiple places (including the above) when using my U.S. passport as ID. Another lesson!

P.S. I like your writing. And I'm of Minnesota, as you mentioned a disproportionate number of your readers claim to be.

Mar 11, 2012

Lol.. My day little bit brighten with this..
I love references to summering (does that even mean the same thing in that tense?) as I do being "on holiday".

Amy from blog

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