Well, you know what? I did not realize what I was getting myself into when I wrote that post asking you what mascara you used. I thought a few people might reply with some recommendations and then I'd look up those recommendations on my phone in Target and buy one or two on a whim and then take a couple of super close-up pictures of my eyelashes to show you how they looked, but I did not think I'd be staring at the business end of 300 comments on mascara. Nor into the hopeful faces of so many disillusioned people whose hands were thrown up in despair as they shouted "YES. I TOO HAVE BEEN DISAPPOINTED BY THIS WAND OF BLACK MAGIC. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE: DO NOT LET ME BE DISAPPOINTED AGAIN."
So I put on my white lab coat and got to work with my Important Mascara Research, which—if you must know—involved drinking a beer and writing lots of things on tiny sheets of free hotel notepaper while sitting in a Denver airport sports bar during the Superbowl. Doing Important Mascara Research, by the way, is pretty much the opposite of watching the Superbowl when it comes to things you can do in a Denver airport sports bar. If watching the Superbowl is, say, a big greasy cheeseburger, doing Important Mascara Research is an organic vegan yogurt parfait with blueberries grown on your grandmother's farm. Blueberries she nurtured with a little Bach on the gramophone at sunrise.
So yes, I spent a few hours in a Denver airport sports bar, jotting down every single mascara you guys had recommended in the comments and tallying them up to arrive at the most popular. The waitress at that sports bar, by the way, was very concerned that I was working—well, "working," but she didn't know that—during the Superbowl. "That looks very important," she said several times as she criscrossed past our table, pint glasses in hand. Oh, it was important, lady. It was. Unless you happen not to care about a little thing called—oh, I don't know—SPIDERY EYELASHES. Yeah, that's what I thought.
Welcome to my laboratory. It's called the Boulder Beer Tap House. The knives are made of plastic in case you accidentally take one onto the plane.
So since this has the potential to be a monster post, I thought I'd break it up into two parts. In this one, I'm going to show you all the data I collected from the aforementioned 300 comments on mascara, and in the second one—which I shall aim to have up by Friday—I'll show you the results of the mascaras I tested. If that sounds like a plan, blink twice. Wait, don't: whatever mascara you're using right now will get all smudgy.
First of all, let's look at the three most popular mascaras—by which I mean the three that were recommended, by you, again and again and again.
Kind of interesting, huh? Benefit's They're Real! nabbed the first spot with 19 votes—Sean would like me to point out that he coded these graphs so that you can mouse over them and see the tallies; boy, I sincerely hope that he is going to put Important Mascara Research on his Linked In profile too—while L'Oreal's Voluminous came in a close second with 18. Shimmying into third place with a cool 17 votes is Cover Girl's LashBlast Volume Blasting Mascara (the original one, in the orange tube), which I can only assume was featured in an episode of America's Next Top Model at some point, because I cannot read its name without doing so in the voice of Tyra Banks.
So those were the three mascaras recommended most frequently in the comments, and those are the three I've been trying all week and will be reporting back on this Friday. But because I am nothing if not completely and totally dedicated to the complex scientific practice of Important Mascara Research, I thought you might be interested in seeing the runners up too. These eleven mascaras below all received six or more votes—a number I chose fairly arbitrarily but which seems fairly significant nevertheless—and so I thought they deserved an honorable mention. (You can mouse over these guys to see the exact tallies too.)
Overall, I was pretty surprised at the range and breadth of suggestions—there were a whopping 107 mascaras recommended altogether!—and by how close the final three were in votes. And while a few of you did suggest rare Tongan brands made from crushed rose petals that would have take sixteen weeks to get here by carrier pigeon—okay, I'm exaggerating a little bit—the majority of the recommendations seemed like things anyone in the US, Canada, Europe, or Australia could get in a drugstore, department store, or Sephora. (I mean, I think. It's been a while since I've bought mascara internationally, glamorous though that sounds.) Just for kicks, I thought you might be interested in seeing the top five most popular brands.
So that's that! Are you surprised by the results? Pleased by them? Looking forward to seven thousand close-ups of my spindly eyelashes when I reveal the test results of the top three on Friday? I know eye am. EYE. GET IT? See what I did there? Oh alright then, that was terrible. Trust me, it's the lash pun I'll ever make.