Alright, let's settle this once and for all: what mascara do you use?
I ask because I think I've tried every single one known to man—drugstore and high-end, American and British, lengthening and thickening, small brush and long brush, brown and black and blackest black—and I have yet to find one that I truly like. I've been burned so many times by the promises of marketing (fibres: like a wig for your lashes!) and I'm tired of the disappointment, Internet, just plain tired of it. The one mascara I found and liked—Maybelline Pure Perfection Vibrating Mascara (I know, I know, but it worked a treat)—has since been discontinued because it didn't get approved by the FSA. I've found that I can still buy it on Amazon, but part of me wonders whether the pursuit of perfect lashes is worth the potential risk of a future baby with two heads. (Super bummer if she's a girl; double the mascara to buy.)
My dreams are small, Internet. My wishes are few. I just want my lashes to look longer and I don't want any clumping. Hell, they can make kitty litter that doesn't clump, why can't they do the same for mascara?
So here's what I think we should do. You tell me the mascara you use—I mean, you have to like it, obviously—and I'll make a pie chart of all the results. (There's just one rule: don't tell me to buy that "classic" pink and green one by Maybelline. I hate it with the passion of a thousand fiery suns.) I'll buy the top three and I'll test them out, with before and afters on the site, and if all goes well, we will crown, by the end of next week, the homecoming queen of mascaras and none of us will ever be disappointed again. Sound like a plan? Oh no, I couldn't possibly accept that Nobel peace prize, sir. I'm just doing my part for humankind.