Incentive To Clean Those Kitchen Floors

Right now, my kitchen is a huge mess. I'm not talking about a dirty dishes mess or a whoops-I-spilled-some-orange-juice mess, though I'm pretty sure that both of those messes are going on in there too to some degree. I'm talking about the kind of mess that involves power tools on one's kitchen counters. There's a screwdriver on my cutting board. Some last minute grouting is going on. Two out of three lights have blown. You would hardly think a photographer was coming over on Sunday to shoot it for a national magazine. 

Oh, look how I just threw that in there all casual-like, as though I'm not shaking in my boots at the thought. A magazine! A magazine is coming to my house! Well, not a magazine itself, obviously—that would be problematic for about seven hundred reasons, not least of all that it would be highly disturbing for a walking, talking magazine to just ring your doorbell and invite itself in; my mind is kind of boggling at the thought (how would it even reach the doorbell, FOR A START?)—but rather a person from a magazine. With a camera! To take pictures! Of my kitchen! To go inside the magazine! Which is clearly making me talk in short bursts that end with exclamation points! THAT'S NOT ANNOYING AT ALL.

Obviously, this impending visit by a magazine—okay, a person from a magazine—is hugely exciting and I am pretty much beside myself with glee, but I am also really, really, really, really nervous. See how I used all those reallys back there? That is to show you that I am not kidding around with the nervous. I am absolutely thrilled, obviously, that all our hard work on our DIY kitchen makeover is going to be chronicled in a publication that I could buy in an airport bookstore thousands of miles across the country, but my brain is also working overtime to figure out how I can simultaneously repaint all the cabinetry, find an attractive outfit, grow my hair a few inches, and maybe redo the entire kitchen all over again in five days' time. 

Okay, I would settle for finding an attractive outfit. The rest sounds like too much work. 

I'll let you know more details as soon as I can, on the offchance that you want to buy this magazine, open it up to the page upon which I appear, and shriek I know her! Actually, what on earth is she wearing, I'm going to pretend I've never seen her before in my life!, but if all goes according to plan, it should be out in March. And I know I'm sort of trying to be all cool about it, like it ain't no thang and all, but you should know that this is actually pretty much the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me in my life. It is, in fact, the hugest thang. I kind of can't believe it's happening. What are you doing this weekend, Holly? Oh, just checking off long-held life goals over here, no bigs.