Brought To You By The Letter Q

Now listen, I don't normally write about work, but something so embarrassing happened during my first week on the new job that I couldn't not tell you about it, because that would be wrong. I think that's blogging in a nutshell, really: me telling you about the times I did something stupid and you laughing at me.

Wait, with me. I meant with me!

So at my new job, we have what is basically an enormous chat room and it is open to the whole company for the whole time. Working from home, this has been supremely useful for me: I can keep the chat room open, pop in at will, and reach out to someone with a question whenever I need to. It's been invaluable in keeping me connected to the rest of my co-workers, who are all thousands of miles away in a different state.

But on my third day on the job, it all went horribly wrong. 

I needed to find my green card, you see, to scan it for a form I had to fill in for HR. My green card was in the living room, and my computer was in the spare bedroom. I got up from my computer, walked into the living room, and started to look for my green card. I was away from my computer for three minutes, tops. During this interval, my cat Sadie jumped up on my desk, settled onto the keyboard, and unwittingly joined the chat room conversation with the whole company.

It looked like this:

Holly Burns: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Holly Burns: QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ

....and then continued on like that for about four hundred more Qs---and you know I often exaggerate, but I am not exaggerating here---until Sadie must have shifted position a little bit and my contribution to the conversation became even more nuanced:

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

...at which point my new co-workers began to get understandably concerned:

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Co-worker 1: WAKE UP, WAKE UP!

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Co-worker 2: WTF?

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Co-worker 3: Apparently she didn't like our conversation.

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Co-worker 4: This is impressive.

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Co-worker 5: Seizure?

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Co-worker 6: Um, does anyone have her phone number?

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q 

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Co-worker 7: It just keeps going and going! It's like the Energizer Bunny!

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Co-worker 8: That must be some good acid.

Co-worker 8: Just sayin'

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Q

Holly Burns: Whoa

Holly Burns: I'm so sorry!

Co-worker 1: Cat?

Holly Burns: I just really wanted to tell you guys about the letter Q.

Holly Burns: Uh, yes, cat.

******************

So that was a great way to make a first impression! I guess I know what they mean now about minding your Ps and Qs when you're new on the job. Or really just your Qs.

(For the record, everyone was super nice and understanding about it. And the next week, when I went into the office to meet them all in person---most for the very first time---I was really tempted to wear a shirt that just had a big Q on the front. And on the back too.)

91
Annika
Jul 17, 2011

Laughing with you is the best!

92
Alicia C.
Jul 17, 2011

Oh Wow. I almost peed in my pants. That was great! Coworker 8? Seriously my favorite. I am sure that it was horribly embarrassing for you, but what a great story for us! Thanks, Holly

93
Gazpacho
Jul 18, 2011

That's one of your best blogposts ever :) And you've written a lot of great blogposts!

94
SAJ
Jul 19, 2011

Oh man. I never comment and I have to comment. I'm laughing and crying a little bit and so is my five-year-old who I had to read this post to. We like funny cat stories.

95
Frumptastic
Jul 19, 2011

I never realized that the letter Q was so funny but here I am laughing so hard that I'm crying. And yes, laughing with, not at you.

96
Stephanie M
Jul 19, 2011

I was out of the office last week, so I'm just now getting caught up on blogs...but OMG this made me laugh so loud, so long, it made my stomach hurt. Like others said, it was the occasional comments thrown in from your co-workers that made it so hilarious.

97
S.
Jul 19, 2011

I just laughed out loud for the first time in days (currently experiencing packing and moving stress). Thanks for that!

98
Raz
Jul 22, 2011

Definitely had me laughing out loud. I think you can tell by their comments that they enjoyed it!

99
Pam
Jul 23, 2011

Laughing, crying, can't breath! Such a great visual!

100
Carlin
Aug 25, 2011

I needed a pick-me-up today, so I came back and re-read this. It did the trick. Many thanks for sharing.

101
Natalie T.
Aug 26, 2011

Oh Dear! Hilarious, as always.

102
Erika
Jan 04, 2012

I am crying laughing. I can't stop laughing. My sides hurt. Oh, make it stop! The co-workers comments are just too much! Oh my goodness!

103
WonkaFonka
Oct 06, 2012

OMG. OMG. OMG. I have been trying to find this again ever since I read it last year. Cannot stop laughing.

104
Kavita
Jan 08, 2013

I love you cat :)

105
Wendy
Jul 29, 2013

I have read this a thousand times, or maybe twelve, over the last couple of years, and it makes me laugh so hard every time. Seriously, like gasping for breath laughing. I want everyone in the world to read this. It is on my list of top five things to share with other people. :)

106
Jayce
May 19, 2016

What a great reuocrse this text is.

Post new comment

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.

More information about formatting options

CAPTCHA
Just to make sure you have a pulse
Image CAPTCHA
Enter the characters (without spaces) shown in the image.