So Much To Say

Oh, I have so much to tell you about! I don't even know where to start. First of all, I'm back from London, which I guess is probably obvious, though I did not escape without doing something majorly embarrassing in front of all my fellow countrymen and also a few Americans too.

It was in the Virgin Atlantic Clubhouse at Heathrow Airport, see, which is kind of the one place you really don't want to do anything embarassing, mostly as it is also the kind of place where you constantly have to hiss at yourself to keep cool, play it cool, because otherwise you'll suffer a sudden attack of self-doubt and end up jumping onto a chair, rending your garments, and shouting WHAT ARE THEY THINKING, LETTING ME INTO A PLACE AS FANCY AS THIS?

Anyway, I was doing a pretty good job of keeping cool for the first half hour or so---don't worry, I actually had to take those pictures above for my job, I wasn't just being some CLUBHOUSE TOURIST (although of course we all know I totally was)---and then my luck ran out and I fell into a pond. Yes, a pond. There's a pond in the Virgin Atlantic Upper Class Clubhouse at Heathrow Airport, WHO KNEW? Well, I know now, thank you very much. I was standing behind one of those cool spherical chairs in the second picture, inching back a bit back a bit back a bit for my next shot, and then suddenly SPLASH!, I had staggered backwards and was ankle-deep in a very cold pond. I mean, I guess it was a reflecting pool if we're going to get all technical about it, but a reflecting pool implies that I would have, you know, seen myself reflected in it and therefore not fallen in, but I didn't and I did, and so there you go.

They were awfully nice about it and brought me a couple of towels from the spa to dry off and my colleagues tried not to laugh too much and my gold flats---once I had poured the pond water out of them---were whisked away to the sauna to be dried, which meant I spent the next hour shuffling around the lounge in a pair of spa slippers, which had its own kind of charm, but man, WHO FALLS INTO A POND IN A FANCY AIRPORT CLUBHOUSE, you know? This guy. This guy does. Right here.

Oh look, I am also the kind of person who takes picture of her food on an airplane. But look! Teeny-tiny cupcakes! A baby cupcake trio! Coochie-coochie-coo!

That picture above was my flight from London to New York, by the way. My flight from New York to San Francisco---after twelve hours in the Sheraton Newark Airport, which was exactly as you would expect the Sheraton Newark Airport to be---was far less glamorous. Gone were the days of lounging in my exclusive pod with a white-tablecloth delivery of mini cupcakes, and instead I was crammed into the middle seat between two people of questionable hygiene, one of whom popped her gum for the entire six-hour flight and swiped her credit card for eight bucks so she could keep watching some inane television show featuring the janitor from Scrubs---except it wasn't Scrubs and he wasn't the janitor---that made her snort out loud approximately three times a minute (don't know why, it didn't look that funny to me.) Oh how the mighty have fallen, eh? That'll show me.

Anyway, now I am back in San Francisco and on Friday we spent three hours signing papers on our house that basically mean we own it---or at least that if we back out now, we're idiots---and the keys should be ready for us to pick up on Wednesday. Unfortunatelywon't be here on Wednesday, as I'll be on the Pioneer Woman's Ranch in Oklahoma until late Thursday night filming a video for BlogHer, which means I will have to wait until Friday to do that whole I'M A HOMEOWNER! LOOK AT MY KEYS! thing they do on HGTV all the time. We're going to go over there after work, pizza and champagne in hand, and sit on our very own hardwood floors in all that empty space and toast ourselves for draining our bank account while we visualize painting the walls. 

In other news, we went to Kristin and Scott's wedding a few weeks ago, and I have finally got around to uploading all my pictures of it. They are on their honeymoon right now, which makes me long nostalgically for my own honeymoon, because there is really nothing better than having to do nothing after having had to do something for months and months on end. Speaking of doing nothing, has anyone been watching The Real Housewives of New Jersey recently? I find that the women are my least favorite of all the Real Housewives---apart from Dina who I have, inexplicably, warmed to, oh and Caroline too, and actually I guess Jacqueline is quite nice as well; come to think of it, I think Danielle is the only one I hate---and yet there is one person on that show who I cannot get enough of, and that is Albie Manzo, Caroline's son, CAN I GET AN AMEN. Am I the only person to have a secret sneaky crush on Albie? Come on, I really don't think so. Show yourselves. No-one's judging.

Filed Under:
1
schmutzie
Jun 07, 2010

That pond thing? Totally something I would do. It sounds like you handled it well, though!

2
Balkan Girl Down Under
Jun 08, 2010

Bahahahahahahahah.

(Wait, did I just do that out loud? :P)

Heh, the falling-into-the-pond thing seems like such a romcom moment.

And it'd totally happen to me, too. I think most peeps have an element of klutziness to them!

Congrats on signing another ginormous batch of paperwork...new house is almost here, wheee!

3
Teej
Jun 08, 2010

Oh, wow. Congratulations! You'll have to tell me what it's like to be a real adult because I still have very little idea.

4
Chelsea
Jun 08, 2010

You can get a BIG AMEN on Albie. Now that's a good looking man. More Albie!

5
Jenn
Jun 08, 2010

Did you watch Real Housewives last night? Did you see the teaser for next week that said "One housewive leaves and never returns!!!1111!!!!" All I can think is that it's going to be Dina because she's sane and doesn't need all the BS.

6
Krysta
Jun 08, 2010

Congratulations on the house! The idea of eating pizza and toasting with champagne on the empty floor of your new house makes me less afraid to be adulty! So Exciting Holly!

7
lauren k.
Jun 08, 2010

agreed about albie, he seems to have a self-awareness that most of the others on the show sorely lack, and he is cute! also i want to scoop up danielles kids and move them to sanetown.

8
lauren k.
Jun 08, 2010

agreed about albie, he seems to have a self-awareness that most of the others on the show sorely lack, and he is cute! also i want to scoop up danielles kids and move them to sanetown.

9
Ris
Jun 08, 2010

You pulled a Michael Scott! Hilarious. And congrats on the house!

10
Margot
Jun 08, 2010

Man, I'm so glad you get to have a good time while you fly, wet flats and all. Maybe it's just me, but flying gets to be more and more of a hassle all the time. I wish we could take trains like everyone does in Europe! Congrats on the house too, btw!

11
Amy---Just A Titch
Jun 08, 2010

I never knew anyone else had a thing for Albie. I might even be able to overlook his desire to own a strip club/carwash.

12
Nothing But Bonfires
Jun 08, 2010

Amy, no, that's Christopher! Don't worry, your dreams of Albie are unsullied. Christopher is the one who wants to own a combo strip club/carwash; Albie is in law school.

And Ris, yes, it was TOTALLY Michael Scott. Exactly.

13
Erika
Jun 08, 2010

Congrats on the house! We can't wait to "christen" our own home. If you know what I mean! ;)

14
lauren
Jun 08, 2010

I love Albie, too. So much. But I actually like Chris more? I think he is more self-deprecating and funny. I think it was season one when he was like, "In terms of looks in the family, I'm basically pee wee league and Albie is in the majors." Basically I love the Manzo family and would like to engage in a ham fight with any of them.

Congrats on the house and becoming Michael Scott! I would have done something similar, for sure.

15
agirlandaboy
Jun 08, 2010

You're a travellin' fool, Holly Burns.

Finally getting the keys to our place was similarly anticlimactic. Simon was at work and all of the realtors we'd dealt with had left town for the holiday weekend, so I had to go pick them up at a sketchy office and receive them in an unmarked envelope from some random secretary and then we couldn't really do anything for the next few days because Simon was on a sleepover staycation with some friends so it was basically just me picking up the keys and going "Huh. THAT was expensive." It's never like it is on t.v., is it?

16
Kate
Jun 08, 2010

It's weird that after years of reading about your travels to places like London and Vietnam and Italy and Singapore... you're going to be spending time in, of all places, my neck of the woods (I'm in Tulsa, OK). But I hope you enjoy your visit here!

17
slynnro@gmail.com
Jun 08, 2010

Something tells me the Admiral's Club at DFW isn't nearly as awesome. Not that I'll ever go there!

18
Alex
Jun 08, 2010

The Housewives... so Danielle is delusional right? I can't get enough of the Housewives! NJ, NY, OC...give me more excuses to sit in front of my television PLEASE!

www.laundryandvodka.com

19
Rhi
Jun 08, 2010

Albie is pretty cute, though I never realized it until you said it.

20
Lisa
Jun 08, 2010

Gum-snapping=hell.

21
Nothing But Bonfires
Jun 08, 2010

Lisa, seriously -- I kept GLARING at her, like outright GLARING. Isn't glaring the international language of SHUT UP? Apparently not.

22
jasmine
Jun 09, 2010

oh my goodness! that's hilarious. but think about it this way: what are the chances that you will see those people in the lounge again? PLUS, you got to enjoy the POSHEST airport lounge...EVER. I'm totally jealous! nice soft comfy slippers. and those cupcakes are like the perfect size! enough to enjoy the deliciousness, but not enough to make you feel too guilty! LOL. and congrats on the house. I really hope one of these days, I will be just as lucky!

23
Shut-the-folk-up
Jun 09, 2010

Holly, I found a clip of you and your pond incident on Youtube

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W13Ju9pT4AM

24
Kristabella
Jun 09, 2010

OMG, I LOVE ALBIE TOO! Like I seriously want to date him! I'm like "I bet he likes older women! Plus, I already love your parents! And I'm sure they would love me! PLEASE DATE ME ALBIE!!"

(I did read this whole post but seriously, I thought I was the only one with those thoughts about Albie. I DO NOT EVEN MIND THAT HE IS CALLED ALBIE!)

25
Chris
Jun 10, 2010

So I'm going on vacation in SF tomorrow and I'm not going to lie, I'm totally going to look out for you! If you hear a girl start shouting OH MY GOD IT'S HOLLY!...don't worry...just a blog reader. :)

26
Candy
Jun 11, 2010

You totally had me laughing out loud, the pond thing was funny, but the little cupcakes...coochie coochie coo...hilarious!

27
B.Graham
Jun 12, 2010

1 - You are hilarious and I love you
2 - I have the EXACT SAME backing up to take a picture and then taking a tumble story, except that I tumbled down a flight of stairs by a pool and am still paying medical bills about my stupid murdered knee :P It gave my friends a hilarious story about how I "roundhouse kicked the stairs" though, so I suppose it wasn't all for naught?

28
K Marie
Jun 12, 2010

I feel your pain. I recently tried to leap across a brook in a Big Deal National Forest and failed. Tragically. And I knew it was really bad when an Significantly Older Woman came running to help me out of the water and told me she was so glad I hadn't hurt my back. Apparently it looked THAT BAD to everyone else. It was also kind of embarrassing to have to finish the hike in wet jeans. HI, EVERYONE! I COULDN'T MANAGE TO JUMP ACROSS TWO FEET OF WATER! HILARIOUS, RIGHT?

29
Lois
May 18, 2016

You've got it in one. Co'dlnut have put it better.

Good job making it appear easy.

buradaki erdoğan arıcaları, erman toroğluları gördükten sonra biz boşuna kızmışız futbolcunun üzerine yürüyenlere, adam azmettirenlere!anormallik bizdeymiş, normal olan kasap havasıymış...

If you're reading this, you're all set, pardner!

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