You know that game you play on long car journeys where you list five living famous people you'd have over for a dinner party because they're people you like or admire? Let's play that right now. But only with men. Here are some men I'd like to meet:
1. Jared Leto
How did you know this was coming? You had to have known this was coming. If you didn't know this was coming, I'm afraid you just haven't been paying attention for the last five years. I'd specify on his invitation that he had to come in character as Jordan Catalano, of course, and this would include the corduory jacket with the sheepskin collar and at least five solid minutes of leaning against something. Jared Leto isn't a very nice person, apparently---my brother Tom met him once in a sandwich shop in Dublin and he propositioned Tom's girlfriend even though Tom was RIGHT THERE (seriously, he told her his hotel room number and everything)*---but you know what, I still kind of don't care. Come to dinner, Jared Leto. Any day of the week.
*Tom said he was also almost comically small. I refuse to believe it. I also don't want to talk about his recent penchant for guyliner. Or the pink mohawk.
2. President Obama
Oh, come now. President Obama would be the most awesome dinner guest in the history of dinner guests. He'd stand up at the beginning and give a really insightful toast and everyone would be weeping subtly into their linen napkins, and then I sort of have the feeling that after dessert and coffee, he'd pull up the rug on your living room floor and shut the evening down with an impromptu dance party and at first you'd be too shy to join in, but then you'd be like "Well, Obama's dancing...." and you'd get down and do the Robot too.
3. Anderson Cooper
He'd be so interesting! Imagine the things he'd talk about and the stories he'd tell. I have a very soft spot for Anderson Cooper. I'd probably hog the conversation with him all night and the person on his left would be like "Anderson? Tell me about the time in Afghanistan when you---" and I'd be all "Quiet, Jared Leto, I'm talking to him right now."
4. Neil Patrick Harris
He'd just be funny. He'd be really, really, really, really funny.
5. Evan Dando, lead singer of the Lemonheads
You know, maybe this is a weird choice. But boy, is this guy a tall drink of water or what? I already chose two intellectual ones so let me just have my attractive, sensitive, emotionally unstable musician, okay? Besides, I think he'd be very interesting to talk to, particularly if one of your favorite subjects is the 1990s and one of mine is. I think this dinner party would probably end---after everyone had collapsed on the sofa, tired after the denoument of Obama's raucous dance party---with Evan strumming his guitar and the rest of us crashed out cross-legged, humming along a little to "It's a Shame About Ray" under our breath. Anderson Cooper would have a lampshade on his head.