Well, Thank Goodness That's Over

About a month ago, Sean decided to grow a beard. I don't know why, exactly: maybe because it was winter and it seemed a manly thing to do---Man freezing! Man grow hair! Scarf for little girl, man say!---or perhaps it was a daring sociological expose into the general public's reaction to hirsuteness, who knows? Maybe he just got lazy and decided he was going to stop shaving. (More than likely that last one.)

At first I didn't mind the beard: it was sort of cute and scruffy and grungy. As time went on, it lent him a vague professorial air. But gradually the beard got beardier. He started to resemble a middle-aged geography teacher who still lives at home with his mother, and from there it was an easy slide into founding member of ZZ Top territory.

One day, there was an unfortunate (and very smeary) mustard incident, of which I cannot make any further mention lest I be forced to relive its very particular horror. Last weekend, when we were skiing in Tahoe, his beard froze white after he face-planted into the snow. When I met him at the bottom of the mountain, icicles were forming on the bristles like he was Old Man Winter.

"I think," he said, "that I have had enough of this beard." 

"I think," I said, "that I would have to agree."

Now, there is a way to shave off your beard and there is a Way To Shave Off Your Beard. The former is probably easier and quicker, but the latter provides more comedy gold for your wife's blog. I think you can guess which way we chose.

Fig. 1: Portrait of the artist as an unshaven man. Heretofore known as the before picture.

Fig. 2: Hey, the 90s called and actually, they've thought about it, and they don't want that particular style of facial hair back, after all. You feel free to keep it. No, honestly, man, it's yours.

 Fig. 3: This is for your Facebook page.

Fig. 4: We call this one "Someone's Dad in the Seventies."

Fig. 5: Hey baby, I wrote you some poems. In French.

Fig. 6: Back to normal at last. And just like that, it's as though the last month never even happened.

1
Camels & Chocolate
Mar 10, 2010

HA! Love this. Also, for what's it worth, at whatever point in the Bearded Follies your birthday fell, I thought Sean the Grizzly Man looked quite dashing! Then again, I didn't see the mustard splotch. That might have changed my mind.

2
Retired-Ed
Mar 10, 2010

Hey, I think he looked great with the beard. I have had one for almost 37 years. I started it while undergoing water rationing on Okinawa and then just kept it. It was dark at 27, mottled at 47, and now in my (ahem) "mid-60's" it is almost all gray (or "grey" for you Brits, Holly). Anyway, tell Sean not to give up on the possibility. As one ages, the beard gets you the senior discount much ahead of your time.

3
Janie
Mar 11, 2010

Haha I think he looks good both ways, and loved the in-between pics too! You really should have gotten him to write you some poems.

4
Chloe
Mar 11, 2010

LOL! I loved this. And I must admit, it totally bums me out that my own husband can't actually grow any facial hair except a few random paltry patches along the jawbone.

FACIAL HAIR IS FUN! Maybe? Sometimes?

5
Momcat
Mar 11, 2010

And then he went for a haircut! Actually this is probably the scruffiest I have seen Shaun. Tell him: No degeneration allowed now that he is married. I like the neat and tidy Shaun.

6
honeypops
Mar 11, 2010

LOVE THIS! thank you Holly! thank you Sean!

7
derrick8711
Mar 11, 2010

i love the transition! AWESOME!

8
derrick8711
Mar 11, 2010

i love the transition! AWESOME!

9
Nicki
Mar 11, 2010

You are so lucky that he plays along. Mine actually lives in fear that some of our interactions will appear online. He'll pause with this deer in headlights look and say,"This is going on the blog, isn't it..."

You have a model husband.

10
Janssen
Mar 11, 2010

Loved Someone's Dad In the Seventies best. Too amusing.

11
Connie
Mar 11, 2010

Looks aside, kissing a smooth face is so much nicer.

12
sarah
Mar 11, 2010

Well, now I know what hirsute means and can use it in a sentence all before 7:30 am.

Thanks for keeping my vocabulary sharp. :)

13
James
Mar 11, 2010

Excellent.

The beard? Well, it's just something a guy's gotta do at some point in his life. And yes, a single day of laziness can be the root of it all.

I just went through the same process last August...

http://fallofjames.blogspot.com/2009/08/smooth-as-babys-bottom.html

14
RA
Mar 11, 2010

Have you seen that episode of HIMYM when Ted shaves off his beard in phases? The gang is all, "Why, what are you doing here, former President Filmore?" HILARIOUS.

15
Lisa
Mar 11, 2010

"I wrote you some poems. In French."

That was awesome. Thanks for the much-needed laugh!

16
Clare
Mar 11, 2010

HAHAHA I love the 90's one. And Someone's dad in the 70's. And "I wrote you some poems. In French". This was the perfect post for me to read today, I needed a giggle =)

And to Retired-Ed, thank you for clarifying which country uses grey and which uses gray for me. I have been trying to remember all week. I'm way too culturally confused.

17
Jummy
Mar 11, 2010

This was all sorts of fun to read and see!

18
Ris
Mar 11, 2010

I love "Someone's Dad in the 70s!" In fact, he kind of looks like MY dad from the 70's. Classic.

19
Xiobhan
Mar 11, 2010

I LIKED the beard! The nice things about beards is that you save money on facial scrubs.

20
Locusts and Wild Honey
Mar 11, 2010

Are we voting? Figure 3!!!

It's so San Francisco hipster. No one would even bat an eye if he wore it like that.

And agreed. He rocked that beard coming and going. I have a feeling Nathan...would be another story.

21
Georgia
Mar 11, 2010

I used to be ALL. ABOUT. dudes with beards. But now that I'm dating a cleanly shaved fellow I see the draw of a nice, freshly shaved face. Much better.

That said, Sean looks quite dashing with a grizzly beard!

22
smallstatic
Mar 11, 2010

this is awesome.

i don't know if i could live with it day to day but please permit me to say: your hubs looks *HOT* in that first pic! mwawr! :)

23
Meredith
Mar 11, 2010

Whenever my boyfriend lets the growth over take his face I always make him shave fun mustaches in for me.

Oh how funny mustaches make me laugh...

24
Poppy K
Mar 11, 2010

I keep trying to get my husband to do the slow reveal when he shaves off his infrequent beard, but he never goes for it. Perhaps I can lure him by showing him Sean's funny pics.

25
Angella
Mar 11, 2010

Haaaaaa. My Dad had that exact look in the seventies.

26
Marcheline
Mar 11, 2010

My favorite picture is of him in the car, with the beard.

In my head, I could hear John Cougar (sans Mellencamp) on the radio, singing "Hurts So Good", while old rusted-out gas station signs flash by the window. Heat rising from the road makes ripples on the horizon. In the back seat, a cooler of beer and plenty room for...

Wow. I think I just developed a crush on your husband there for a second.

What - you think I'm the only one?

27

My boyfriend is EXTREMELY jealous.

28
Alyce
Mar 11, 2010

Does he need more Internet strangers telling him he's handsome? He is. With or without the beard.

29
jen wheat
Mar 11, 2010

My husband does the beard thing too. And he always shaves it off like this too. Men are so alike!

30
Hip Hip Gin Gin
Mar 11, 2010

I have a set of photos just like these from when my husband had surgery and grew a recovery beard!! Funniest photo shoot we have ever had around here I'll tell you.
These are brilliant!! Photo 4 "someone's dad in the seventies" is totally my dad my whole life! If he shaved his mustache off I swear I wouldn't recognize him in a lineup.

31
Procrastamom
Mar 11, 2010

I just sent this post to my husband who recently grew his first beard "for the Olympics" and is now refusing to adhere to the policy that he shave it off afterwards, even though I have pointed out that: a) he looks like a mountain man (he likes); b) I can see the grey/silver in it (he doesn't care) and; c) it is used far too often as a snack-for-later-food-receptacle (he loves)

Ugh!

32
simon
Mar 11, 2010

I gotta say it - the Dude fucking ROCKS the Selleck. Wish I could pull it off like that.

33
NothingButBonfires
Mar 11, 2010

High praise indeed from you, Simon! You've been known to impress with your own facial hair, if I remember correctly.

34
Leah
Mar 11, 2010

Part of me suspects they grow beards just so they can do the progressive shave-off photo essay.

35
sarah
Mar 11, 2010

thank you both for the mid day laugh!!

36
LindseyO
Mar 11, 2010

"Someone's dad in the 70s" was TOTALLY my dad. HAH! Except he had his mustache in the 80s and part of the 90s as well. :)

Anyway, I'm pretty sure men grow beards because - aside from the lazy factor - they can.

"Oh sure, YOU WOMEN can grow babies," they say. "But can you do this? Behold! FACIAL HAIR!"

37
Sadie
Mar 11, 2010

Haha, I love the photo montage, and I know it's in terrible taste, but you guys didn't even try out the Hitler moustache? Just for a minute? My boyfriend did the same silly beard removal, and, aside from the swarthy Andy Garcia, the Hitler moustache was perhaps the most hilarious.

38
Caroline
Mar 11, 2010

DAYUM, Holly... you sure do have yourself one mighty cute hunk o'love there, sugar. Bearded or unbearded, bad '70s porn moustache or no moustache at all... that is a very handsome feller.

39
Megan
Mar 11, 2010

Someone's dad in the seventies? Uh oh...both my father AND father-in-law STILL have that god-awful look. Love the before-to-after sequence.

40
jennifer
Mar 11, 2010

HAHA Holly that is hilarious! Sean seems like such a good sport.

41
Alyssa
Mar 12, 2010

This might be your stupidest comment of the day...ever..."Hi. I'm new to your blog and like it. Please check out my blog, too" and then I add "I'm your newest follower"...but, really, what can I say?

42
Sarah
Mar 12, 2010

oh, i'm a sucker for the French version of Sean. if you ever get tired of him, let me know. ;)

43
Jessica
Mar 12, 2010

My husband grows a beard every October and shaves in sometimes in Jan or Feb. He claims it is because it's so cold and he's so skinny with such low bodyfat wah wah wah. Whatever, he is lazy.

44
Alecia
Mar 13, 2010

I definitely prefer the beard to the in-between phases. Funny!

45
Maya
Mar 14, 2010

That top picture is tres sexxie, I must say - not just the sepia tones, but the light...I'd have let The Beard linger for a couple days just on the strength of that shot. But, as above, I didn't see the mustard schmear,so...I'll shut up and revel in the glory of all in incarnations of the 'stache.

46
liz
Mar 15, 2010

i think i pulled a muscle laughing at the mustache and accompanying title in pic 4. totally awesome. my husband did the same beard experiment and the same gradual shave a few years ago. i begged him to keep the My Name is Earl look.

47
A Little Coffee
Mar 15, 2010

Wow, the 90's one and the Facebook page one cracked me RIGHT up. Although I fully agree with you on the whole clean-shaven thing, Sean actually rocks the beard better than 90% of the rest of the male population! It really suits him. But still, the icicles and any mustard incident and also beard kisses would deter me from encouraging it as well.

48
erotik shop
Mar 31, 2010

I LIKED the beard! The nice things about beards is that you save money on facial scrubs

49
Sex Shop
Apr 28, 2010

Thanks very good.

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