I like to wear clothes. This is no secret. I also like to buy clothes and, in addition to buying clothes, I also like to talk about clothes. I'm hoping that you like to talk about clothes too, and if you don't like to talk about clothes, well, that's cool, you can feel free to sit this one out if you want and I'll come get you when my husband is doing another mustachioed photo shoot or I remember yet another thing I still wanted to tell you about my wedding.
A few weeks ago, I was asked to be part of a new BlogHer project called Putting It All Together; it's basically a collaborative video series wherein Some Ladies From The Internet talk about what works for them---from lifestyle to personal style---with input from you. (Yes, you! You, right there. I see you. You're eating that turkey sandwich at your desk. Careful, your boss is coming up right behind you. Switch over to that Excel spreadsheet in 3...2...1....)
Anyway, I say no to a lot of extra "projects"---whoever wants blogging to feel like homework, right? I just want to write about my feeeeeeeeelings, man---but this one sounded pretty fun. Besides, by the time I shoot the video I'm hosting, I'll have just got back from a trip to London---home of Cadburys chocolate, deliciously sharp cheddar, and my grandma's apple crumble---and I thought it might be a hilarious little experiment to see if the camera really does add ten pounds, because if it does, then at least I'll totally have a watertight alibi.
Wait, what's that now? Did I say I was going to be hosting a video?
Indeed I am. I'm going to be hosting a video and it's going to be shot at the home of Ree Drummond, aka the Pioneer Woman, aka The Woman Who Is Responsible For Peach Crisp With Maple Cream Sauce Oh My God How Good Does That Sound? As part of the Putting It All Together series, the five of us----Susan, Sheila, Rhoda, Ree, and moi (I actually wrote "me" first but it rhymed with "Ree" and sounded like I was trying to write some weird slam poetry between these emdashes)---will be filming at Ree's ranch in Oklahoma over the next few months. The topics we cover will range in scope, but we'll be asking for your best advice and funniest stories, and featuring them in each video. I'll be your host in June, which means you'll hear a whole lot more from me then. For now, however, I'd just like to talk about clothes.
LETS TALK ABOUT CLOTHES YOU WEAR DURING THE DAY
When I worked for a magazine in Charleston, I wore heels to work every day. Let me clarify that: I wore heels to work every day. (Remember that preposition. It's going to come in handy later.) This was because a) I worked in an office that was mainly comprised of pretty young women and pretty young women like admiring the shoes of other pretty young women, and b) I drove to work every day, meaning those four-inch pointy stilettos only had to totter out of the front door and into the office, for a total of about six and a half steps.
Now I work in San Francisco, where I have a 20-minute walk to work in the mornings and a 23-minute walk home. (It's uphill that way, you see. Give a girl a break.) Unfortunately for me, I still like shoes. More to the point, I still like heels. Call me crazy, but I don't feel like an office outfit is put together until I'm rocking something sharp and pointy on my feet, which is silly, because my office has a pretty relaxed dress code and I could probably get away with Crocs if I wanted to. (I said if I wanted to. Too bad I would never want to.) What this means is that I walk to work in either a pair of thousand-year-old Pumas I've had since my first year of college or some cute (but awfully unsupportive) flats, then change into a pair of heels when I get to the office. As a result, the area under my desk resembles the shoe department at Barneys---oh alright then, at Marshalls---with no fewer than ten pairs of heels lined up in my cube. As you would imagine, I take quite a lot of heat for this. On the upside, however, I could probably run a library of shoes if I ever wanted to.
It's okay. I can quit at any time.
My question to you, however, is this: do you wear heels every day? Do you wear heels any day? If you walk to work, do you rock the sneakers and change when you get to the office or do you have some cute and functional flats I don't know about that are good for walking and looking decent with a dress? If you do, can you tell me about them? Or better yet, FedEx them to me?
ENOUGH! MY FEET ARE HURTING ALREADY! LETS TALK ABOUT CLOTHES YOU WEAR DURING THE NIGHT
There's a joke in San Francisco that goes something like this: oh, you're going out for a super fancy anniversary dinner? Well, you must be wearing your nice jeans.
The thing is, no-one gets super fancy and gussied up here much, or if they do, then I'm not hanging out in the right circles. My evening look---and I mean my going out evening look, not my general evening look, which is the Target sweatpants and t-shirt I'm wearing now as I'm sprawled out on the couch writing this post---is based mostly around accessories. Large pair of dangly earrings from H&M? Those bad boys will perk you up right quick, and by "perk you up," I mean "make you look a little fancier than you're feeling." These are my current faves, and if I had a penny for everyone who's stopped me and asked "whoa....are those....some kind of....coral?", well, I'd be able to buy another pair of six-dollar-totally-not-coral earrings immediately. MAYBE EVEN TWO.
Anyway, you can't just wear a pair of dangly earrings for an evening out---well, you can, but your evening out will probably end up being an evening in, by which I mean in jail---so it certainly doesn't hurt to have a pretty dress on standby, because nothing says I'm Going Out! like a pretty dress.
I have two current favorites. There is The Silky Green One:
I'd say "I'm the one in the green dress!" but I could just as easily say "I'm the one who's not blonde!" Who knew all my friends were blonde?
And there is The Ruffly Grey One:
Be careful. This one kind of makes you look like a zombie.
For extra special occasions---like, say, your 30th birthday---I also highly recommend wearing a Betty Draper-esque skirt:
Might not recommend the giant helium balloon, though, as a perfect evening accessory. Particularly if you're going to the movies.
But what about you? What do you typically wear for an evening out? Do you have a favorite new piece that you insist I buy right now? You'd better be able to link to it, you cruel tease. If I fall in love with a one-of-a-kind necklace you had custom-made on your trip to Uzbekistan three years ago, I'm coming after you.