Anything I Can Do, You Can Do Better

Friends, I have found the chink in my armor. It's not that I can't do a cartwheel or burp on command or count to five on my fingers without inadvertently putting the pinkie before the ring finger EVERY SINGLE TIME, none of which I have ever been able to do. No, the chink in my armor is that I cannot make homemade pizza. I have failed miserably at making homemade pizza on every occasion that I've tried it, tonight being no exception.

And to this, I say enough! (Or maybe, because it's pizza, finito!) Life is too short to make crappy homemade pizza, dear reader, and I am---as they say in The Hills, and also in The City; can you tell I I enjoy the glitzy docu-soaps of MTV?---done.

This evening's attempt was a messy one: all I wanted was to make a pizza with fig jam, rosemary ham, feta cheese, black olives, and thinly-sliced red onion. There, does that not sound like heaven? It sounds like heaven, I know. I had all these things already, most of them in the all-important Must Be Used Today In Order To Avoid Food Poisoning stage, and then I discovered that I also had a ball of Trader Joe's pizza dough in the freezer, and it was like the angels all came together in heaven and the choirs sang out and the clouds parted and I thought I will make an awesome homemade pizza tonight.

But yeah. It was really horrible. Those angels are probably standing around in heaven right now, slapping their cherubic knees with mirth. I don't know what I did wrong with this stupid homemade pizza, but I think it might have had to do with:

i) Not stretching the dough out enough so that it cooked unevenly in the oven

ii) Rolling the dough out onto my (well-floured) kitchen counter, putting all the toppings on, and then realizing that there was no way in hell to get the dough off the counter and onto the pizza stone, and so then having to...

iii) ...cut the pizza into four separate slices, transporting each one over to the oven on a spatula, then watching the fig jam slide off onto the pizza stone and caramelize there, forever and ever, because there was no way for it to stay on the dough.

iv) Maybe burning it everso slightly because I was busy reading blogs. I mean, doing complex and important brain surgery. No wait, I did mean reading blogs.

We ate it anyway---perked up with a green salad so that not everything on the plate appeared black and tarry and dead and charred---although it was tinged with the definite taste of failure. And I'm sure they've told you this at the Whole Foods cheese counter, but failure does not go well with fig jam.

So basically, in addition to sucking at cartwheels and burping on command and counting to five on my fingers without inadvertently putting the pinkie before the ring finger, I also suck, officially, at making homemade pizza. Make me feel better, please. Tell me something you can't do that everyone else in the world seems to have mastered. I promise I won't laugh. I mean unless it's, like, toilet-training or something. Then you've got to at least permit me a chuckle.


PS: Are you Patty, comment number 404 on this post? Congratulations, you've won $500 worth of L'Bel skincare stuff! Please email me in the next 24 hours so I can work on getting it to you.

Jan 25, 2010

I cannot whistle. I also can't burp on command.

I also fail at doing math in my head. Even the simplest things, like 8+7? I have to think about it. Most likely even picture it in my head, while picturing working it out on paper in my head...

Maybe I should have just stuck with saying I couldn't whistle and called it a day.

Locusts and Wild Honey
Jan 25, 2010

Oh no! But don't feel bad. We all have our things that we simply cannot cook.

For me, it's RICE. I'm the worst at it. Then I invested in an ASTRONOMICALLY EXPENSIVE RICE COOKER.

Maybe someone will invent a pizza cooker? Just add water and plug in?

Amanda Blog and Kiss
Jan 25, 2010

I can't do the crab walk- that back flip walk thing on your hands and legs. My puny arms just won't hold me up, so it's more of a head slide across the floor. Which hurts.

There, now we're even!

Jan 25, 2010

I don't know how to tie my shoe laces, except bunny ear style.

My kindergarten teacher didn't teach me properly, or I didn't listen. Regardless, I hide in corners whenever I'm tying my running shoes.

Jan 25, 2010

Pancakes. I suck at making them. They're dense, cooked unevenly, tasteless. Blech. I don't know why? I grew up eating the same recipe and yet somehow I don't have Mom's magic on this one.

Camels & Chocolate
Jan 26, 2010

Uh, I've never lit a match or lighter before IN MY LIFE. Does that count? Mostly because I'm terrified of fire, but also because I've never quite succeeded at sparking any semblance of a flame.

Jan 26, 2010

I can't cook ANY kind of meat and have it taste like anything except rubber, or cardboard, or rubber-coated cardboard. This is why my dishes usually feature that precooked chicken sausage stuff.

Jan 26, 2010

Okay. Here it is. I can make most anything. I burn microwave popcorn. I don't know why. Luckily, I have discovered the lovely white cheddar seasoning that covers most all my mistakes. Very forgiving.

Jan 26, 2010

For the longest time, I couldn't make Jello. J-E-L-L-O. I can braise a short rib and frost a 4 layer cake but couldn't get gelatin to gel.

Jan 26, 2010

Oh my list is so long that I'm not even going to bother! Perhaps the most frustrating for my family is that I can't remember numbers. How much did I pay for x? Um, I don't know, but it had an 8 in it somewhere. 80? 800? 21.08? Yeah. So not helpful.
Also, please post the recipe for that pizza! Cuz I can make decent pizza, mostly because I couldn't but I kept doing it all the time and eventually it got okay. And it sounds soooo good.

Jan 26, 2010

I think every cook has a dish that is their cryptonite, mine being brownies.

Chocolate Guinness Cake? No problem! Pulled Pork! EASY! Succulent Pork Tenderloin? Perfect every time. Brownies? Crusty on the outside and batter in the middle. EVERY SINGLE TIME.

Jan 26, 2010

SO MUCH. I can't wink, I can't whistle. I can't bake very well, for much of anything. I can't leave on time. BUT! I can burp on cue. ...It's not that exciting.

Jan 26, 2010

I can't wink without squinching my whole face up into a very unattractive grimace, which really defeats the purpose of winking in the first place.

Jan 26, 2010

I hear your pain. I have given up on making pizza, and instead roll everything into the much easier stromboli.

I always end up with a lopsided circle that is embedded INTO my well floured surface. I will say, however, that a dough scraper is the best friend of one who endeavors to make pizza or stromboli. It is also effective at scraping the dough out of the grain of your well floured surface, should that be necessary.

Jan 26, 2010

I struggle with cakes. Finally, last year for my birthday, I asked my chef father-in-law to take me through it. I made a beautiful three layer carrot cake under his guidance. I haven't made another cake since.

Jan 26, 2010

dude, I love the TJ's pizza dough too, but go to the normal grocery store next time and get a tube of Pillsbury pizza dough (I say tube b/c it comes in a can like the biscuits do and goes POP when you open it). It's so much easier...juts sort of mush it down so that it's evenly distributed.

Also - start simply next time...some mozz cheeze, basil/pesto, sliced roma tomatoes (or jarred pasta sauce, yum), parm. FIG JAM AND ROSEMARY HAM?! Shooting for the moon, eh? You must walk before you can run, grasshopper.

Jan 26, 2010

I can't make an omelette. No matter how hot the pan is, or how well greased, or even using a plate over it, I cannot get the omelette to flip over in one piece, and therefore always end up making scrambled eggs with bits in.

(And I can't turn a cartwheel either. It's one of my life's ambitions, ever since my friend Gemma at age 6 impressed my mum by turning a series of them down our garden. But since I am not co-ordinated and have a fear of contorting myself, I don't think it will ever happen for me now. Sigh.)

Jan 26, 2010

Oh also: I cannot make pancakes or frenchtoast. I don't know if it's because I've never had enough coffee or something but I can make the batter just fine...when it comes to putting it in the pan though, huge fail. My pancakes AND frenchtoast is always CHARRED on the outside and DOUGHY on the inside. Oh & I can't make an omelet. Can't make it flip and look all pretty...always turns into a scramble.

Jan 26, 2010

OHHH... homemade pizza is my nemesis! I have made it my life goal to perfect a homemade pizza. So far, the pizza is totally kicking my ass!

Jan 26, 2010

I've never even tried to make a pizza because I can barely boil water... suffice it to say, fig jam/ham pizza is way, way out of my league. So props to you for going for it!

Jan 26, 2010

Sweet Tea. And I'm from the South. It was awful every single time I tried. I gave up years ago.

Jan 26, 2010

I can't wink, whistle or do math in my head. I was relieved to see I'm not the only one. In the kitchen I can never get mashed potatoes quite right.

Anne in SC
Jan 26, 2010

I can't really whistle. I can suck in and whistle, but I can't blow out to make a whistle. I would love to be able to whistle with my fingers in my mouth.

Jan 26, 2010

Here are some pizza making tips. Please don't give up--you can do it!!

1) Let the dough rest and come to room temperature. Maybe 15 minutes.
2) Use a handful of flour below the ball of dough and on top. It can also help to hand-stretch the dough in between rolling/flipping the dough over and rolling some more.
3) USE CORNMEAL. Put it on your pizza stone OR on a cookie sheet before putting the dough down.
4) Keep runny ingredients centrally located.

The end. Another great combo is caramelized onions, goat cheese, cubed roasted sweet potatoes, and arugula.

Jan 26, 2010

I can only do a cart wheel if I start with my right hand. If I start with my left, I look like a four-old trying it for the first time.
With the pizza, next time roll out the dough, brush it with olive oil, prick it with a fork and put it on the pizza stone to cook. Once the dough is firm and a light brown, take it out of the oven and put on your toppings. Pop it back in the oven until your cheese is melted, toppings warmed, etc.

Jan 26, 2010

I can't do the homemade pizza thing either UNLESS I prebake the crust for a little bit on its own before adding the toppings. Feels like inauthentic failure, but tastes good.

I can't type. I have to type a LOT for my job. Typos abound. IMing is a nightmare.

Jan 26, 2010

I can't whistle. I used to be able to but after braces (uh, 15 years ago) I lost the ability to whistle. To see me try is so unattractive that I just refuse to let people try to teach me. I also can't cook...almost anything. I'm pretty much a domestic failure.

Jan 26, 2010

I cannot burp and I cannot do math in my head and numbers completely escape my memory.
And despite the fact that I am known among my friends as a baker and throw a dessert party every December where I make a ridiculous amount of baked goods from scratch, I cannot make rice krispie treats. They just end up sort of gooey and runny. I haven't tried in a long time so maybe I've improved but I highly doubt it. They are my nemesis.

FunnyGal KAT
Jan 26, 2010

I can't roll my R's. And I feel like everyone else in the entire world can. It's a good thing I didn't take Spanish in high school because I would have flunked for sure.

Jan 26, 2010

Oh my dear, your mistake was in the fig jam. Nothing goes well with fig jam, if you ask me.

I cannot give directions without pointing the wrong way. If I say. "Turn left," I point right. When indicating North, I say, "Head South." Every. Time.

(By the way, if you're ever in need of directions from me, just go in the direction I point instead of following the verbal command. My husband figured this out years ago and it has saved our marriage, not to mention cutting down on wasted mileage.)

Jan 26, 2010

I can make eclairs from scratch. I make perfect Yorkshire puddings (even though I am American). I make chicken kievs to die for and people BEG for my homemade chicken pot pie.

But hard boiled eggs are beyond me. They never, EVER turn out right. HARD BOILED EGGS! Sigh...

Jan 26, 2010

Right now, I cannot do a backbend in yoga.
A tip for pizza- after you roll it out( TJ's dough it better for pulling and tossing then rolling) put it on a sheet of parchement paper before you add the toppings. YOu can slide it onto a cookie sheet then onto the pizza stone, or with a helper lift the whole thing on to the stone by holding the paper.

Operation Pink Herring
Jan 26, 2010

I cannot spell, fall asleep without drugging myself, or follow a recipe.

I had a lot of trouble with homemade pizza, too. I can't roll the dough AT ALL. I just stretch it. I've given up on the rolling pin -- which, incidentally, I purchased specifically for making homemade pizza.

Jan 26, 2010

Some tips:

-After stretching it out a bit, give the dough a rest and some time to relax. Especially if it was frozen, it may need a little more time to come to room temperature.
-Roll it out on the counter just as you did, and then transfer to the back of a sheet pan or other wide, flat surface that is coated with corn meal or semolina flour. These grains act more like ball bearings that will allow you to transfer the dough easily to the pizza stone.
-Preheat your pizza stone to way hot, as hot as your oven will go, for at least 30 mins. Transfer the pizza in there, and you have to be a little brave to shake it off the pan, but it is easier than what you did last night, I swear! Once you get it in the oven you can turn it down to 450 F or so, but watch the pizza the entire time. In my experience, pizzas take like 7-10 minutes. Get a couple of big spatulas and transfer it to a large cutting board or back onto the sheet pan.
-If you're feeling really ambitious, buy a wooden pizza peel for schlepping into the oven. It is worth it, and they only run $15 or so.

Good luck! You can do it!

Erin @ Fierce Beagle
Jan 26, 2010

I can't whistle, can't make an intact fritata even though my Italian friend taught me how, and I can't read for extended periods of time without falling asleep.

Jan 26, 2010

I've only used Trader Joe's pizza dough once and had less than spectacular results. I have way better luck making my own dough!

Jan 26, 2010

don't give up on homemade pizza just yet. especially if made with trader joe's pizza dough which is a delight. (i'm partial to the whole wheat kind myself.)
i roll out the dough, but it needs to have rested at room temp for 10-15 min, otherwise it's impossible. i don't use a fancy pizza stone, so i transfer the rolled out dough to the (cold) backing tray before brushing dough with olive oil, pricking dough with fork, throwing on toppings etc. you need a very hot oven and very few baking minutes. seven minutes should do the trick. i learned the hard way. i also drizzle with a bit of good olive oil once it's out of the oven. practice makes perfect holly. don't give up, homemade pizzas are marvelous.

Jan 26, 2010

I think that making a thinner pizza might be the trick...preheat your oven at 450ish, roll out half of the dough ball into enough pizza for two on a well-floured surface, top with yummy things, then bake for about 15 minutes.

Jan 26, 2010

I can't make many things but I have mastered homemade pizza (after some DISASTROUS early attempts).

I agree with everything said above (especially letting the dough rest - if you start to work with it and it's not rolling out thinly enough, let it rest a while more. It's like magic!).

My secret with pizza is to roll it out on parchment paper (with some semolina flour on it) and then transfer the whole thing (parchment paper and all) onto a very hot (pre-heated for at least 45 minutes) pizza stone and back the whole thing on the parchment paper. It makes getting the pizza off of the counter and into the oven SO easy!

Cannot spell. Without spell check I would be a blabbering idiot.

There. I said it. So please stop throwing rocks at me...

HIp Hip Gin Gin
Jan 26, 2010

I can't do anything that involves wheels. This includes roller skating, roller blading, riding a bicycle and driving. Can't do any of them.

So definitely don't feel bad about the pizza. At least you can drive yourself to a restaurant and order theirs, you know?

Jan 26, 2010

Ah, Hip Hip Gin Gin, you overestimate me. I am also a terrible driver. Actually, I'm not even really a driver at all. Since living in San Francisco, I have talked myself out of being able to drive, which means I have probably only done it five times (I had to count that on my fingers, pinkie going up first before ring finger) in the last three years.

Jan 26, 2010

Thank you for making me feel better. My No. 1 abject failure is anything crafty. Anything. At all. Whatsoever. Your wedding invitations both impressed and terrified me. I have grand ideas for making my own Christmas cards every year and they look like the dog - who does not have opposable thumbs - made them. EVERY. SINGLE. YEAR. I have a BAG of barely used crafting supplies in the closet from attemps of years gone past.

Jan 26, 2010

Use a premade pizza crust -- boboli or another brand -- that will fix all of your problems!

I can't do math in my head, AT ALL, but I finally decided, when I turned 30, to count on my fingers IN FRONT OF PEOPLE with pride!

Also, I can't sit on my heels. You know, crouch down and keep your heels on the floor, or even part of your foot? No, I can balance on my toes for a minute, but that's it.


Jan 26, 2010

I fail (so, so utterly) and making fudge each and every time I try.

Also, rice. I couldn't make a happy bowl of steamed, white rice if my life depended on it.

Risotto? NO PROBLEM.

Baked goods? Brilliance!

At least there are rice cookers out there (saved my day!), now if I could just find someone with a fudge cooker....

Jan 26, 2010

I can't whistle, or do even basic addition in my head, and my brown rice is always crunchy.

Also, about half of the times that I try to make coffee, something goes wrong. Usually when I'm making it around other people. Who can't make coffee? I can't.

Jan 26, 2010

I can't tie my shoes in any way but the bunny ears style.

I can't (and have never been able to, so it's not just getting older) do a cartwheel.

I also can't burp on command (but ew, I wouldn't want to!).

There is a long list.

Jan 26, 2010

I can not whistle.

Also, even though I am a pretty accomplished home cook, I can not make chicken and dumplings without burning the dumplings. I know! They are little doughy balls, but somehow I can not cook them properly.

Jan 26, 2010

long division.

Jan 26, 2010

I didn't read all the comments, so maybe someone already suggested this - but the ONLY way I have managed to make an edible pizza at home is with both a pizza stone and a pizza peel. It's not you, it's the equipment.

Jan 26, 2010

I cannot make pizza, or hard-boiled eggs, or really anything else.
Oh, except for grilled cheese. i can make a wonderful grilled cheese.

Elsewhere, I cannot ride a bike (I know, I know), or sing on key. Ever. I'm that girl you don't want to stand by in church. It's a rough life.

Jan 26, 2010

I'd love to tell you about the things I can not do!

I can not cartwheel. I can not get my whole body into the air. On the rare occasion I do, I fall over horizontally. Right now though, I do not think I can get myself into the air, either. (I am off the hook for this though, for now.)

I can not whistle! At all!

I've tried to make rice three times since Christmas and ruined the rice each time. The first two times it was horribly undercooked. Last night it was puffy and saucey, and it was supposed to be easy rice-a-roni.

I've had years of Spanish but will never be able to roll my rrs.

That's all I can think of for now, but I'm hapless, so when I think of more, I'll come back! I'm terribly sorry about your pizza. That sounded like it would be delicious.

Jan 26, 2010

I cannot snap. My sister recently taught my 18 month old niece how to snap just so she could taunt me. It's quite embarrassing when a tiny tot can do something that you can't! She just snaps her fingers in my face and laughs...and then a little piece of my heart dies!

Amy --- Just A Titch
Jan 26, 2010

Simple math confounds me. Seriously.

Jan 26, 2010

I can't tie my shoe laces except the baby way either. I can't fry an egg perfectly. And I most definitely cannot, reverse park. I will happily drive round and round, and park a mile away, as long as I can pull into it forwards! And as far as I'm concerened, Pizza is always supposed to come in a box, delivered by a hot young dude on a scooter!

Jan 26, 2010

if it makes you feel better, last night I wanted to accomplish three things:
1) do laundry
2) put up a shelf in my room
3) assemble a kitchen cart

I failed on all three counts and yes, that includes the laundry. well, the laundry got DONE but I miscalculated how long it would take and I had to hide in the laundry room so no one would notice I was in there after it was already closed.

sigh. not my most shining moment. at least you can round the hell out of some wedding invite corners.

Jan 26, 2010

I love yoga but can't do a decent down dog. After years I've managed to fold into full lotus, rise up to lots of sexy arm balances and back bends, but no down dog. Elusive little sob, it is.

Jan 26, 2010

wow - who knew so many people couldn't whistle?
i can't do a somersault. i'm afraid i will break my neck.
good luck with the pizza thing. my mom gave me a good recipe for dough and that's what i always use - with great results.

Jan 26, 2010

I'm a smart girl but I'm terrible with geography and time zones. Lucky for me I don't have your job as a travel writer. I would just have to make stuff up...

Jan 26, 2010

I can not cook hashbrowns to save my life... Always mush, no mater how long I cook them.. I fail every time!!!

Jan 26, 2010

Can't make homemade pizza, huh? That's it, you're being taken off the "Perfect Princess" list!

Jeebus, I once burned an entire package of hamburger buns, trying to "toast" them under the broiler.

Then I did it again.

Then my husband went out and bought another package of buns.

You guessed it. AGAIN.

Rachel H
Jan 26, 2010

I used to suck and making homemade pizza (and cooking anything, really) until I made PW's pizza from her new cookbook. Now my boyfriend has declared pizza a Sunday dinner tradition. And it is SO easy.

Pioneer Woman saved my LIFE, man.

Jan 26, 2010

I'm horribly out of tune when I sing. I just can't do it. I also can't do "accents" or "voices". My husband can both sing AND do accents (his favorite is New Zealand). One of my friends is the same as me, he can't sing and can't do accents. I think the two HAVE to be related some how.

I also could never do a proper cartwheel. *sigh*

Jan 27, 2010

I cannot calculate a tip.

Or pick produce without examining each specimen for minimum 5 minutes. Yeah, I'm the one blocking you from the bananas. And then the onions, and the bags of carrots.

Jan 27, 2010

Eggs. EGGS! I cannot cook good eggs and I have no idea what I'm doing wrong. I'm known for being a great cook by my friends and family, but I just can't cook eggs. Quiche- no problem, but eggs alone (scrambled, fried, sunny-side-up, omelets)- NO.

Jan 27, 2010

My biggest failing is that it takes me an abnormally long amount of time to work out which is left and which is right. When I'm try to give directions, I use weird jabby motions with my fingers to indicate "this way" and "that way." It's pretty ebarrassing.

I'm also rubbish at rolling my Rs. When I try it either sounds like gurgling saliva or me just repeating the sound "ar" over and over again.

And despite being a writer, I somehow never manage to spell 'receive' right the first time unless I pause to think about it (Just now, I spelled it wrong and had to change it!)

Jan 27, 2010

For those who have trouble with hard boiled eggs, here's what has always worked for me:
You stick the eggs in the pot of water right when you put it on the stove, no waiting for the water to heat up. Then you let the water come to a boil and leave it boiling for 10 minutes. Remove from stove at that point, let the eggs cool, and voila!

I've never made coffee before in my life and wouldn't know the first thing to do. I also become vaguely dyslexic when driving or giving direction and it leads me to getting lost quite frequently or confusing whoever is driving.

Jan 27, 2010

I'm completely in agreement with the pizza advice above. I have had many (many!) disastrous homemade pizza attempts all related to my ineptitude in transferring the assembled pizza into the oven. The method that works for me now is to roll out the dough onto parchment, transfer dough (parchment and all) to preheated stone for a few minutes, then taking dough out to top before returning to the oven to cook. While not particularly impressive or authentic, it's easy breezy this way and we make it all the time.

As for other things, I can't whistle (I used to be able to and then one day I couldn't anymore...), I can't make a decent cup of coffee, I can't say the word "salivate" correctly without thinking about it for a really, really long time. I usually end up saying "salvitate" or salviate."

Jan 27, 2010

I pick up people's accents really easily when I'm talking to them - but even when I can tell I'm doing it, I can't STOP and revert to my own.

I have to sort of talk myself down gradually, with someone who has the same accent as me. It's sometimes a bit embarrassing, cos people think I'm making fun of them, but on the other hand it makes travelling interesting - people can never guess where I'm from!

Saucepan Man
Jan 28, 2010

Soft boiled eggs. Either a slithery mess or rock solid. I just cannot get it right.

Jan 28, 2010

My husband does that accent thing inadvertently and it can be embarrassing. On one of our first dates we saw Of Mice and Men, the one with John Malkovich. Seriously, for a few days after seeing it he spontaneously spoke like Lenny.

As for me, all the curtains in my house are on spring-rod things because the perceived complexity of hanging brackets to do any more sophisticated window dressings practically gives me hives. Everyone else in my life seems to be able to do this, but not me. My house still looks like a college dorm room.

Patty V
Jan 28, 2010

wow, i got all excited when i saw my name had won the skincare stuff. but alas it isn't me, although i could have written what she wrote too. hey if she doesn't get back to you in 24 hrs you can give it to me by default!

Patty V
Jan 28, 2010

oh, ha ha, never mind guess i should have looked at the date. where have i been for the last 3 days?

Jan 28, 2010

TJ's pizza dough sucks. I think that's the problem. I've found a good one at Rainbow Grocery, called Mom's Pizza Dough. Made in Oakland. Delicious.

Jan 29, 2010

Cooking has never really been a problem for me, but I make really bad coffee.
I also tend to trip over my own feet a fair amount.

Jan 30, 2010

I love doing it, but I suck at taking photos!

Jan 30, 2010

I too take way too long to figure out which way is left. Right I know instinctively because I am right handed, which you would think through process of elimination I would know the other way is left. I have to make the L shape with my thumb and pointer finger usually to get which way is left.

I also used to struggle with telling time because when I was in high school I had a Goofy watch, and the hands and numbers were backwards. For years after that, and admittedly sometimes still, it takes me a good 30 seconds to tell time if it isn't a digital clock/watch.

I suck at making bacon too. It always ends up 5 times smaller and burnt.

Sensibly Sassy
Jan 30, 2010

I cannot wink to save my life, see:

Feb 04, 2010

I'm catching up on blogs right now and don't know if you're reading comments. I make the trader joe's pizza all the time, and I think the trick is to heat up whatever you're baking it on and then bake just the crust for a few minutes before you put any toppings on. I have one of those grill pan/griddle things that go over two burners on the stove (I don't have a pizza stone), and I use that - so it makes a rectangular pizza but I think it stretches out the dough the right amount. Also, if you don't let the dough come to room temperature it just doesn't work at all - the dough tears and becomes a mess. I hope my unsolicited advice helps!

Feb 05, 2010

World's Easiest Pizza Dough:

-1 tbsp yeast in 1 cup warm water

-add pinch of sugar, let sit until yeast bubbles.

-add 1 tbsp honey

-add 2 tbsp oil

-add 2 1/2 cups of flour, mix together

Let sit for 15 minutes.

Knead down, and press into cake pans for SUPER awesome pan pizzas, or spread across a smaller cookie sheet.

Only needs about 14 minutes to bake @ 400 degrees, and it's SUPER yummy.

Feb 17, 2010

I can't make a decent pie crust to save my life. And my mother has set the bar so high in my family that buying one of those pre-made crusts would bring on pointing and laughing. I've solved the problem by 'letting' my mom continue to make the pies for family gatherings. :)

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