This is part two of the Sydney portion of our honeymoon, which for some reason I still insist on recapping, even though it happened, like, two months ago and no-one really cares. Part one is here, and the Melbourne portion is here. Also, there are lots of photos. Are you still awake? Oh good, let's begin.
On our second day in Sydney, we decided to have a picnic on Bondi Beach. You've heard of Bondi Beach, right? Everyone in the world has heard of Bondi Beach. What's more, everyone in the world decided to go there the same day we did, and they brought along their mother's cousin's sister's friend's yoga teacher and also half their fifth grade class. This might have had something to do with it being the Festival of the Winds that coming weekend, which is when people get together and fly a whole bunch of kites.
By the way if you, like me, have the sense of humor of a 12-year-old boy and can't say "Festival of the Winds" without imagining people, you know, passing wind, rest assured that you are not alone. A news story we saw on local Australian television that night told of a group of Bondi residents who were kicking off the Festival of the Winds with a group fart. Yep, you read that right: to celebrate the beginning of the event, these fine citizens were all getting up early in the morning, heading down to the beach together, and simultaneously letting one rip.
(You know, at the time, I totally believed this news story, but now, writing it out like that, I'm sort of questioning whether I hallucinated the whole thing. Seriously, I cannot read this paragraph back to myself without wondering if maybe Australia was just punking me with this. Can anyone confirm or deny?)
Anyway, before we could begin the journey out to Bondi Beach from the city, we had to stock up on provisions, chief among them the awesomely-named Strong and Bitey cheese. This, as you can imagine, prompted many jokes of the "I like my men like I like my cheese" variety. Well, okay, there's only one joke you can make like that, but still, it's hilarious, right?
Strong and Bitey cheese, sadly enough, did not turn out to be nearly strong and bitey enough for me, so for the rest of the trip I favored something called Mainland Vintage Cheese instead, which I recognized from having eaten it in Singapore, where we referred to it as Ancient Cheese, my mother once having mixed up the words "vintage" and "ancient" when asking me if I wanted some in a sandwich. Ancient Cheese is delicious, in case you were wondering, and way more strong and bitey than Strong and Bitey. Its downfall, however, is that Ancient Cheese doesn't do nearly as well in the jokes stakes. Let's try it together: "I like my men like I like my cheese. ANCIENT." Nope, advantage Strong and Bitey.
The other thing I wanted to show you was our receipt from that trip to the grocery store featuring our (male) cashier's name, which was so great that I had to record it for posterity:
Attention, expectant parents: isn't Kittikorn an excellent name? You should fast-track that one right to the top of your list. Be careful, though, because I think I might actually invent a product called Kittikorn soon, like maybe microwave popcorn for cats. It'll come in little paw-friendly portions and it'll probably be flavored with tilapia. You might want to store your Kittikorn away from your SmartPop, is all I'm saying. It would be pretty terrible if there were a mix-up.