Having Your Cake And Eating It Too

I have come to a crossroads regarding my hair. Yes, I know that sort of scintillating opener is what makes my blog my blog and not, say, a cracking page turner on the New York Times bestseller list, but if you can't indulge in a little navel-gazing on your own website, where can you indulge in it, you know? 

The issue is regarding my bangs. I had them cut for the first time six weeks ago, and they are now at the point where they need to be cut again, which is only an achievement in that it's three weeks later than my stylist told me they'd need to be cut again, which means, if my estimation is right, that I put off spending ten bucks for an extra three weeks, hurrah! Yay for me! Doing my part to save money in the recession!

The situation, however, is really now quite serious. I haven't seen my eyebrows for weeks---which has been quite refreshing, actually---and I often have to shake my head like a wet dog just to get the hair out of my eyes, which has the unfortunate effect of making me appear as though I suffer from some sort of nervous tic, and always happens in front of some important person, like the company VP or the flight attendant who asks suspiciously if you're willing to open the exit door in the event of an emergency. At this point, I have put up with these way-too-shaggy bangs for approximately ten days longer than I should have and the decision to take some sort of action is finally reaching a peak, considering that next week, in the span of several days, I will have to:

a) Appear on live TV several times in the state of New York and parts of Connecticut. 

b) Attend Sean's high school reunion and meet a whole bunch of people I don't know, up to and including EX-GIRLFRIENDS, and not just ex-girlfriends but FRENCH EX-GIRLFRIENDS which are the scariest kind of ex-girlfriends of them all. (Honestly, I don't know why. I just picture French ex-girlfriends to be super stylish and really well-moisturized and smelling permanently of expensive Chanel perfume. But, you know, just really faintly. Not, like, overwhelmingly. Just a trace of it trailing in their midst when they leave the room. )

So, that said, I think it is fairly obvious that I can do neither of these things looking like this:

Table for two, please! Oh, just me and my bangs. Nope, no-one else will be joining us. They have their own zip code, you know. 

So basically it's time to get off the pot or....you know. Do the thing you do when you're on the pot. Which is to say: I need to decide what to do with my bangs. They've been a fun little experiment---something to demarcate my Hair Before The Wedding and my Hair After The Wedding, which was for some reason important to me in some way---but I just don't know if they're really me.

I mean, could be that I'm just more of a side-swoopy kind of gal, you know? And yet if I am, however, I need to start growing these suckers out right now, which means pushing them (awkwardly?) to the side for the whole On Live TV/French Ex-Girlfriend thing. And if I'm not, I need to get them trimmed, like, immediately so that they've grown just enough that I don't resemble myself circa 1985---unfortunate experiment with the kitchen scissors as a five-year-old, way too much forehead showing---by next Monday.

Wow, first world problem or what? Now, let's talk about these diamond-encrusted shoes I just bought that are lined with hundred-dollar bills. They're awfully uncomfortable.

In other news, I went down to San Diego this weekend to see my parents, which is something a lot of people don't understand. "Did you have to?" they ask. "Did they make you?" Nope, the simple fact of the matter is that I really love hanging out with my parents, and I know that makes me singularly uncool but there it is. The way I tried to explain it to Sean is that most people spend their whole lives trying to get away from their parents, but I've spent mine just trying to get nearer to them. Every minute I can spend with my parents is one that makes that awful goodbye in Hong Kong Airport, December 1991, fade a little further into the background. Plus, they're just a whole lot of fun.

So we spent the whole weekend eating and drinking and watching HGTV---that's three of my favorite activities right there, particularly when the eating is mac and cheese with bacon, the drinking is leftover wedding champagne, and the HGTV is House Hunters International---and then when I left at 5am this morning (that's how much I love my parents) (or maybe I should say that's how much my parents love me, considering my dad had to drive me to the airport), my mother filled my carry-on bag with various tupperware containers of leftovers, ensuring neither Sean nor I would have to cook for the following week.

One of them contained a portion of one of the tiers of our wedding cake---this one was chocolate with Baileys frosting---which, if you remember, my mother made herself, apparently not content with the stress generated by moving into a house in APRIL and throwing a wedding there in SEPTEMBER. And oh my god, was it good. Neither Sean nor I had a single bite of wedding cake on the day itself---I was too busy cutting a rug on the dancefloor; he was too busy having his cheeks pinched by aunties he hadn't seen in twenty years---and so this first slice we had together tonight was our first proper bite of wedding cake. You know, aside from the bit you have to feed each other for the photographs on the day itself which, by the way, future brides, you will discover is MAJORLY UNFLATTERING when you get the pictures back, HONESTLY, DON'T DO IT.

I'm not sure where I was going with this, except to say that it seemed sort of meaningful, in a way, to finally get to eat our wedding cake together---without any pomp or ceremony, mind you; we just crashed out on the couch in front of a DVR-ed episode of Parks and Recreation---a whopping 72 days after our wedding. (Uh, don't worry, it had been frozen.)  So hmm, yeah, I guess that's kind of all I wanted to say in this post. If you don't count the sixteen paragraphs about my bangs.

1
Janie
Nov 17, 2009

chocolate with Baileys frosting? Oh my goodness, HOW MUCH DO I NEED SOME OF THAT CAKE RIGHT NOW?!

Really, I'm almost mad at you for posting about it, that's how much I'm craving it right now! :)

2
Amy
Nov 17, 2009

Wait, you have to pay to have your bangs trimmed?!? My stylist (who, by the way, is American, always says "fringe," and then I feel vulgar for saying "bangs") does it for free, and I STILL don't visit for a trim between cuts. Too lazy.

That cake sounds delicious. Drooling right now...

3
Nicki
Nov 17, 2009

This is why I love reading you. Good luck with the French exes. They've got nothing on you! NOTHING. (And they most certainly don't have blogs with really devout audiences.)

However, on the off chance that they do...they're probably writing about having to meet Sean's new wife who is thin and beautiful and witty. (The lethal trifecta...)

As for the bangs...I can't weigh in. I just had my first haircut my entire adult life where I didn't have to consult some man first. It felt AMAZING.

Have a great week. Can't wait to read about it.

4
pseudostoops
Nov 17, 2009

Now I want cake.

As for bangs, I'd say trim them for the tv/french ex-girlfriend encounters (after all, nothing says "take THAT, french ex-girlfriend" like truly chic hair- floppy pinned back growing-out bangs? not so much). Then, since the time between trims is so short anyway, you could start growing them out- just six weeks behind where you'd be if you started now. Hardly a delay at all, really.

5
B
Nov 17, 2009

One of my girlfriends found herself in this exact dilemma (re: bangs, not re: TV and French exes) -- there is a video somewhere on the Daily Candy site that tells you how to cut your own bangs that solved her problem nicely.

Bonne chance! :-)

6
Mon
Nov 17, 2009

Trim the bangs...they look fab on you. I say bangs for winter and maybe go side swoopy come spring (yes, I know that these seasons don't really matter in SF, but I love the idea of bangs and winter sweaters and then side swoopy and springy clothes.). Also, my word verification starts with ir8. I am not irate, I swear!

7
Jen
Nov 17, 2009

Chere Holly, those French ex-girlfriends have nothing on you! And yes, I would suggest that for the upcoming big events you have going, get the bangs trimmed, and then begin the growing-out process afterwards. I think the bangs look fab on you but if you don't want the constant upkeep then you look equally as perfect with the side-swoop effect.

8
Abby
Nov 17, 2009

I have to say if hanging out with one's parents makes one uncool, sign me up. I may be biased, but my parents are also some of the best people out there. :)
Also I too have been debating the bang issue (more in the whole to cut them at all phase), but definitely keep us updated on what you decide.

9
Anne in
Nov 17, 2009

Trim them, you'll be glad you did.
And can we see you on TV or is it a local NYC thing? I was terribly impressed with how good our cake was 1 whole year after the ceremony (frozen). Crazy how cakes can be frozen and not loose anything.

10
jen
Nov 17, 2009

Trim the bangs. Your stylist should do it for free. I wouldn't do it yourself unless you had no other choice as to me, cutting ones hair always seems easier than it really is.

I didn't eat a thing at my wedding, except for the mandatory feeding of the cake and I don't even remember what the pictures came out like. I know I don't have one so I think that says everything.

11
dani
Nov 17, 2009

I'm going through the same thing with my bangs right now as well (I cut them just before you did). Fortunately, my mom used to be a hair stylist so she helped me get them back to side-swept, though they are still far from what I'm looking for. Fringe just aren't for me. Agreed on the trimming - you'll be happy you did it for these events because the growing out stage is just weird.

Good luck!

12
Molly
Nov 17, 2009

I agree with Jen above and think that you should get them trimmed now for the live tv, high school reunion situation, and then begin growing them out to be side-swoopy. However. If you really want them to be sideswept now, they're probably long enough to be sideswept bangs rather than blunt bangs, although probably not as long as your old bangs - talk to your stylist and see if she can shape them into sideswept bangs at this length. good luck!

13
Ris
Nov 17, 2009

I say trim them before the TV appearance/French Ex-Girlfriend encounter and then grow them out. While the bangs are darling they're a lot of upkeep and you look good with swoopyish bangs/hair as well.

14
Home Sweet Sarah
Nov 17, 2009

That's funny; I was in San Diego this weekend, as well...Incidentally, to get my hair done. I'd been having somewhat of a bang issue myself and have decided to just grow them out. Does that help you? Probably not.

Anyway, although I think the blunt bangs look cute and are very *in* right now, and although I'm a side-swept gal at heart, I vote for just getting a trim before you leave.

Reasons why: Who on TV has blunt bangs right now? No one that I've seen! Additionally, I can recall no French women with blunt bangs. She'll be green with envy...

15
Krysta
Nov 17, 2009

Trim the bangs! For purposes of television appearances and meeting exes of any sort (but especially French exes) properly trimmed bangs will look effortlessly chic! You can grow them out later, but trust a girl in the awkward growing-the-bangs-out stage herself, the weird chunk of hair that is not quite bang not quite normal length hair is not chic, just transitional!

16
whoorl
Nov 17, 2009

When my blunt bangs get too long, I immediately think that I'm more of a side-swoopy bangs kind of gal. I mean, let's be frank, blunt bangs look RIDICULOUS when they are too long.

BUT! Then I decide to get them trimmed (which takes all of 5 minutes), and I am totally back in love with blunt bangs.

My thoughts? Trim them one more time, look fabulously chic when you meet the FRENCH EX-GIRLFRIEND and then re-evaluate in about a month.

17
Locusts and Wild Honey
Nov 17, 2009

Wait, I didn't say it was weird. I said it was, INSPIRING. Plus you aren't going to see your parents over Thanksgiving so it does make sense you'd want to see them now.

Honestly I really like your bangs but they are more upkeep.

I'd get them trimmed and then grow them out AFTER the live TV appearance and French ex-girlfriend, if you're still on the fence about them.

18
Maren
Nov 17, 2009

Beyond hanging out with my own parents (often involving food fights and woodworking projects...not always exclusive of one another) I love hanging out with my in-laws too. You haven't lived until you have sat for a couple hours talking about farming with my father in law - it is fascinating, really!

19
Rhi
Nov 17, 2009

My bang trims are FREE and yet I still wait until I'm tripping over my bangs to get them trimmed.

(I'm sad you have to pay for bang trims!)

20
peg slinsky
Nov 17, 2009

Holly, Just remember one very important thing, Sean picked YOU, not the ex, and I remember her well. He loves you so much more.
Believe me.

21
jennifer in sf
Nov 17, 2009

Agree with the having them trimmed for upcoming events, and then deciding if you want to deal with awkward growing out.

And I also really enjoy hanging out with my mom, so you're not the only lame-o out there.

22
Carolyn
Nov 17, 2009

First of all, if I may enumerate, there isn't an ex-girlfriend, French or other, who could hold a candle to you. That is perfectly clear.

Second, your blunt bangs look adorable, and could possibly use a wee trim, but I've always thought the side-swoop bangs are very becoming, and somewhat Audrey-Hepburn-like on you. (Audrey-Hepburn-like...proof that a French ex-girlfriend could not hold a candle to you.)

And Third, Connecticut? Really?? Let me know if you're up for a coffee or glass of champagne somewhere. You'll be in my [very small, chilly] neck of the woods.

Cheers!

23
Tara
Nov 17, 2009

We have the same hair (as far as I can tell not having met you in person). Mine's fine, dark, and has been in a bob of various lengths forever.

I say get your fringe trimmed to look smart for your events.

Then, get yourself some cute clips and headbands to lessen the pain of growing them out.

24
Tara
Nov 17, 2009

Not to imply you NEED to grow them out. Just if you decided to.

25
Amy --- Just A Titch
Nov 17, 2009

I live 10 minutes from home, and I STILL love hanging out with my family---I go over every chance I get. Family is the best. And bacon mac and cheese and cake?! Um, also the best.

26
Daisy
Nov 17, 2009

I had blunt bangs growing up, all the way through middle school. In tenth grade, I decided to grow them out.

Luckily since it was the era of big hair and I already had pretty tall bangs that I sprayed into a wall of hair every morning, I had a good head start (no pun intended).

Even so, I hated every minute of that awkward growing out stage, and that is probably why I have never cut bangs again in the 20 or so years since then.

My sisters, who also got the same blunt bangs, thanks to my mom, have no such insanity or hesitation. They cut their bangs, grow them out, and do it all over again.

Despite my story of bang-resistance, I say trim them for the big events and then grow them out afterward. You don't want to look back on the footage (or photos of you at the reunion) thinking, "Why is all that hair in my face?"

We had tons of cake leftover from our wedding, so I brought it back to my parents' house and let them feast on it for a few days before my mom finally decided to stuff the rest into the freezer for, you know, safe keeping.

She offered to save the top layer, but our caterer does a special first year anniversary thing where they will make you a tiny cake to celebrate, so I told her to go ahead and eat all the cake she wants. If it's gone by next summer, so be it. If it's still in the freezer, I won't say no to eating it.

The only cute cake eating pictures we got were without the actual eating. The ones with the knife as we were cutting it were fine (and I feel I must interject here that we used the cake knife provided by the caterers as I could not stomach the thought of spending $50 on a cake cutting knife for our wedding), and there was one where the groom almost set himself on fire with one of the tea lights on the cake table (see: last week's episode of 30 Rock). Then there were the photos of us standing there, each with a forkful of cake teetering. But as to the actual open mouthed, cake chewing pictures? We won't be ordering any of those! So in conclusion, my advice to any brides to be: take your time cutting the cake and posing with the forks so there are lots of pictures of you smiling with the cake. Then take a quick bite and be done with it unless you want a bunch of pictures of wide mouths or chewing.

27
Melissa Shea
Nov 17, 2009

What will you be on TV for in CT? I live in the Hartford area. Will I get to see it?

28
Nothing But Bonfires
Nov 17, 2009

It's for work. I'll be stationed at LaGuardia on the Tuesday and Wednesday before Thanksgiving to talk about holiday travel. Not sure if you get the local NYC stations in Hartford -- probably not, right?

29
citywendy
Nov 17, 2009

I'll echo some of the others: trim the bangs for TV/French ex-gfs and then grow them out. You look beautiful either way, but I think the side-swoopy bangs suits you better.

30
Jenna Jean
Nov 17, 2009

If you are tired of your bangs, you could always swoosh them to the side and let them grow out again. Bangs are nice in the fact that if they go to the side they don't look very awkward growing out.

That was great about the Chanel perfume, I too imagine that no French girl ever overdoes her perfume. Wish somebody would have taught that to me in 8th grade with that stanky Tommy Girl.

http://www.ifeelyaophelia.com
Jenna Jean

31
sarah faith
Nov 17, 2009

keep the bangs. for sure.

the french ex-gf will be uber jealous that you can pull them off and she can't!

32
scholae
Nov 17, 2009

Delurking to say trim the bangs just enough to get through these upcoming events and then grow them out. And I love your blog!

33
Carolyn
Nov 18, 2009

No, sadly we do not get NY stations in CT. Damn this state and its nutmeg and its limited tv stations! Damn them all to hell!

Have fun! :)

34
Nothing But Bonfires
Nov 18, 2009

They get them in the part of Connecticut Sean's family lives in, but it's only 40 minutes from NYC.

35
lesli
Nov 18, 2009

You are gorgeous either way, but I prefer you without bangs. ("prefer you" sounds a little weird, but I'm sure you know what I mean!)

I want that cake; your mom should start a business.

36
Operation Pink Herring
Nov 18, 2009

Do you not realize how glamorous and intimidating it is that you've got a lovely British accent and have been on TV as a live travel correspondent for two years running? That right there is enough to send any French exes home crying. And taking into account the fabulous outfits you're always sporting in photos and the recently concluded, breathtakingly beautiful backyard wedding (which was featured on Style Me Pretty, maybe they saw it?) you can casually mention, you've got this reunion in the bag.

My suggestion for the bangs issue (not that you asked, exactly) was going to be the same as whoorl's.

37
december3rd
Nov 18, 2009

Just found your blog and had to post because I have bangs and had to trim them a week after getting them!

Normally I would recommend trimming them yourself (hold scissors and cut up and down instead of from the side) but since you have important appearances I would get them professional cut, sweep them to the side, pin them back with bobby pins, or wear a cute headband.

38
replica bags
Nov 19, 2009

I believe that my girlfriend has kenned up in this mess exactly like what i say herself in this exact dilemma (re: bangs, not re: TV and French exes) -- there is a video somewhere on the Daily Candy site that tells you how to cut your own bangs that solved her problem nicely and very poisely

39
Leah
Nov 19, 2009

If it makes you feel any better, I had two pieces of wedding cake. Actually...I think it was three--one for me, one for you, and one for Sean.

40
Kristabella
Nov 19, 2009

My stylist is like 50 miles from my house. (I KNOW!) So I usually just wait. Except like now, they are too long, so they are doing that thing where they go all Farrah Fawcett-y at the ends instead of staying straight. So I think I might have to trim them myself.

I say trim them this time, since you have some important things coming up AND you look fabulous with bangs!

41
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47
dofus kamas
Sep 30, 2010

good luck. plz keep it away.

48
Tiffany
Oct 31, 2010

I don't thinks there's something wrong with your bangs. I like it actually. You just need to have that guts to carry your hair with your outfit. Believe me, it's fine. ;)

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