You Say Tomottow

Wait! I didn't even tell you my favorite thing about our time in Melbourne! Well, alright, maybe it wasn't my favorite thing about our time in Melbourne, but it did warm the cockles of my heart a little and considering Melbourne was absolutely freezing for the duration of our stay, anything that warmed the cockles of anything was alright with me.  

So my favorite thing about our time in Melbourne was when we walked into a sandwich shop on our first afternoon there---tired, jetlagged, and discombobulated, which always makes things either a little funnier or unfunnier than they actually are, although in this case, it was the former---and glanced down at the glass display case to see what we might like to order. And there it was: the single best spelling error I've ever seen in my life. Hand on my heart, the shop was selling a bacon, lettuce, and tomottow sandwich.

Tomottow! Tomottow! Do you not love that it was spelled tomottow? I loved it so much that I almost ordered it, but then I wasn't sure if I could do it with a straight face. Tomottow! It sure changes the nature of my tagline a little bit, doesn't it? You say tomottow,  I say......well holy crap, I'm speechless. What can I say?

You say tomottow, I say here's a dictionary? You say tomottow, I say wow? You say tomottow, I say well, bless your heart? I mean, the list goes on.

In case there was any doubt that I'm the sort of sanctimonious nerd who collects hilarious spellings like other people collect charms for their charm bracelet, I will leave you with my second favorite misspelling ever, which sadly had to give up its crown with the recent discovery of "tomottow." In 1991, my best friend Anna---in fact, my maid of honor at my wedding last month---wrote me a letter describing the plot of a movie she'd recently watched. In it, the parents divorce and the mother is trying to get custody of the kid. Now, Anna is beautiful and wonderful and kind and amazing and smart, but, aged eleven, she was not the best speller. "The woman," she wrote in her letter as she described the plot of this film,  "has to spend a lot of time in court. She really wants to get custardy of her daughter."

Custardy! Like custard! It's a bit custardy! Do you have custardy of the tomottow?

Internet, I know you have seen hilarious spellings out there too, and I'm curious about them. Perhaps you have even made these hilarious spelling mistakes yourself! (It's okay, I suck at long division. And short division, come to think of it. And probably medium-sized division as well.) If you have a good spelling mistake that makes you smile whenever you think about it, please share. Because I refuse to believe it will beat "tomottow."

Also, Sean told me my photos of Melbourne last week were kind of boring and gave me some of his instead so that we'd actually remember what Melbourne looked like when we were thinking back on our honeymoon. In them, I found this, which I have since decided was my second favorite thing about Melbourne:

They made a pub! Just for me! Well, and just for you too if your initials are HB.

1
Pundelina
Oct 28, 2009

Wow - there's some nice pics of Melbourne there (my hometown!). You went Neighbours crazy though! Did you take that street sign home? I understand they used to get stolen a lot.

I can't believe someone would come to Melbourne for a honeymoon - what inspired that?

2
Kitty
Oct 28, 2009

Tomottow? What's tomottow with you?!

3
Operation Pink Herring
Oct 28, 2009

I probably shouldn't admit this publicly, but playing scrabble with my family last Christmas, I had to call husband over to show him the AWESOME word I was totally going to win the game with: Quoir. I hate losing so much that I had myself entirely convinced that was the correct spelling. I made him Google "choir" and show it to me before I'd believe I wasn't right.

My #2 worst spelling moment would have to be when I spelled "Captain" wrong on the back of a self-made t-shirt in college (I spelled it "captian") and wore it around for WEEKS before someone pointed it out to me.

4
Nicki
Oct 28, 2009

Oh, you look so exhausted and happy. It really warms...

Well, you know.

5
jive turkey
Oct 28, 2009

I once saw a handwritten sign advertising "Baby Crisp."

http://www.flickr.com/photos/62765927@N00/1804382989/

I think they meant "cribs," but can I be sure?

6
Emma
Oct 28, 2009

Well, in that case you have a whole Bunesland of your own too: HB - Hansestadt Bremen..

7
Red Boots
Oct 28, 2009

A couple of years ago, whilst travelling, I worked in a bar in New Zealand. On my first day I was horrified to read on the menu, under side orders, that diners could order (and I kid you not) a "bowel" of chips. Apparently the menu had been like that for 6 months and no-one noticed.

Over there, I also found a sign that said "No PARRALLELL parking" - obviously the motto is when in doubt use every letter twice!

8
April
Oct 28, 2009

The best I've seen lately is now my profile picture on Facebook, a traffic sign that reads SLOW Pedestrain Crossing....I kept looking around for the Flintstones-esque train.

9
Sheila
Oct 28, 2009

This is not really a misspelling of the "Hey! Funny!" variety, but more of the "Cute only to me" variety, but here goes anyway:

When my daughter was about four, she left me a wobbly heart cut from pink construction paper with "i evol you" written in the center. It's one of my favorite notes ever. Although for a second there I thought she meant she was going to evaluate me or something.

10
Meg
Oct 28, 2009

No spelling errors for me, but I will comment on being cold on the honeymoon. Just returned from mine in NZ and one of my purchases included merino wool long underwear, can you say seksi?

11
Sarah
Oct 28, 2009

My friend calls it a 'po pas' (instead of faux pas). Then there's 'I liked it from the gecko' (saw that on an Amazon review).

12
willow
Oct 28, 2009

try this on for size. not sure it outright beats tomottow but it sure gives it a run for its money....
i was advised once by a coworker, in email, that a specific group of employees needed to be "educationalized".... now, i have to say that although this is not a word, in my opinion, it should be one..... used much the same as institutionalized. "one goes to college and is educationalized".
more a grammatical misuse than a spelling error but amusing just the same!!!

13
Ris
Oct 28, 2009

I have two, actually, because I also love to collect instances of funny misspellings.
1. A couple of years ago I was passing by a travel agent's office and saw a sign for a special "Vaction Getaway Deal." Vaction! Rhymes with action! I literally stopped and stared, mouth-agape, for several seconds.
2. I went to a large state school where a substantial portion of the undergraduate population was in a sorority or fraternity. This resulted in an abundance of home-made t-shirts. I was walking on campus one day when I saw a gaggle of girls in matching t-shirts with their individual nicknames on the back. One of the shirts said "Physcho." I *think* she meant Psycho? Which is not a very flattering nickname anyway? I laughed about that (secretly, in my head) for weeks!

14
Krysta
Oct 28, 2009

It was more or less an error on my part while typying an email quickly, but still makes me laugh. I was responding to an important investor and wrote, "Dear Scoots," instead of Dear Scott. Scoots is what I call my puppy.

15
edj
Oct 28, 2009

I collect bad spellings too and I have MANY of them because I live in Africa. My current fav is from an email a colleague sent me. He's not a native speaker, but he is an English professor. His email started off "Hell Elizabeth!"

Second current fav? In Spain, the appetizer section on the English part of the menu was headed "Incoming." That's not a spelling mistake but it is hilarious.

Uggg I am cursed as a HORRIBLE speller. The things I conically spell wrong go on and on and on. College educated, with an ENGLISH degree, and yet, it doesn't stick.

One of the more hilarious moments was more an error of quick typing. I rattled off an email to my boss and he brought to my attention that in my haste I wrote ASS instead of AS.

Thankfully he had a sense of humor.

17
Tracy
Oct 28, 2009

Ashley -- I think it's hilarious that you misspelled something in your post about misspellings! I think you meant "chronically" not "conically" LOL! Bless your heart!

18
Marcheline
Oct 28, 2009

Not cute or funny or even amusing... more along the lines of really annoying.

I have noticed a marked upswing in the use of the spelling "definately" by the general public.

This irritates the hell out of me.

Definitely.

19
Pam
Oct 28, 2009

I used to live on Penguin Drive. At one end of the street, the sign said Penguin Dr. At the other end of the street, the sign said Penquin Dr.

How could they not get it right?

20
Bibbs
Oct 28, 2009

Not so much a spelling error as a hilarious phrase:

A coworker at a previous job (who had a reputation for playing computer games all day and accomplishing no actual work)wrote me an email to complain about how long it was taking another employee to complete a simple task.

She said "What's the hold up? It's not rocket surgery."

I ADORE it. I say it all the time.

21
Lara
Oct 28, 2009

Having travelled quite a bit in Asia too, I’ve seen some doozies and they never cease to crack me up way more than anyone else I’m with. Oh well.  My most recent favorite, however, is from Twitter – which, I know, a WEALTH of horrendous spelling, but this one is spectacular.  The tweeter appears to have been responding to a radio station – maybe it was a contest…who knows, but it says “@[radio station] i am hearing your show right now…the person that painted the 16th chapel was michael angelo…”
 
HA! I went through a bunch of his tweets to see if I could figure out if this was a case of the stupids or if he was being intentionally hilarious, and alas, it appears to be the former. I left my twitter address in the website field in this comment, the “16th chapel” tweet is in my faves list. If you’re like me, you may want to fave it so you can enjoy re-reading whenever you’re in need of a giggle fit.

22
Debra
Oct 28, 2009

Favorite funny sign ever at a gas station in Kansas connected to a coffee shop: "Kids With Gas Eat Free."

Favorite spelling error in a thank you note (from my 7-year-old sister): "Thanks for all of it. It is doog." That's doog instead of good and it's entered our family vocabulary. When something is really great it's doog.

Favorite subtitle (from a Chinese-language film): "My it is very crowdy in here." Again, this is part of our family vocabulary. If it's too crowded it's crowdy and we've gotta get out of there.

I collect spelling errors too and espeically love those that come about spontaneously from burned out letters in signs.

23
Rebecca
Oct 28, 2009

My favorite is from Belize, where at our resort most of the sandwiches came with a side of "cold" slaw. Now we always ask for cold slaw instead of cole slaw!

24
Jill
Oct 28, 2009

I work with mostly hispanic men which makes my job fun at times.Like the time one of our employees handed me his 'time cheets'. So cute that I can't correct him.

Then, another employee brought me back an engraved shot glass with my name 'Gel'. (my name is Jill)

25
Ali
Oct 28, 2009

My husband was recently trying to IM me what he had for lunch, couldn't think of the name for it, and finally said "i know it starts with a c... oh I got! casadella!" Um, quesadilla dear? I found it hilarious.

26
Kristabella
Oct 28, 2009

I can't believe I'm actually going to admit this, but here goes...

In high school, on some sort of practice test for something (the AP exam, maybe?), we had to find the errors in this short story. And it was an English story and they talked about a hansom cab. And I said HANDSOME was MISSPELLED!

*dies of shame*

27
simon
Oct 28, 2009

At a sunglasses booth at a swap meet:

"Songresses to for 5 dolla"

As others have said in their posts, the word "songresses" has entered the family lexicon.

28
Caroline
Oct 28, 2009

When I lived in South Carolina, there was an ambitious but sadly rinky-dink gas station down the road with a big ole neon sign out front with letters that could be moved around to spell out whatever was on special that week. The only thing the sign ever said was THIS:

BAIT *** GAS *** CIGS *** CAPASHINO

It made me chuckle every time.

29
cj4
Oct 28, 2009

Tomottow sounds awfully yummy, but it cannot compare to the savory treat I spied on a menu in India many years ago:

Fried Children.

I opted for the veggie menu, thank you very much.

30
Linda
Oct 28, 2009

I used to do business with a women from another country and her English was usually very good. But when she wanted a rough estimate or a quick quote she always said, "I need a ball point figure." I always thought that was cute.

31
Alexis
Oct 28, 2009

I think mine comes pretty close to "tomottow", however you can be the judge. Let me paint a picture.

My boyfriend & I were on vacation in Spain. We went to a super fancy restaurant known for its delicious paella. Written on the menu under the appetizer heading was an item that really caught my ATTENTION!

They were trying to list "marinated chickpeas" only the "ch" in "chickpeas" was replaced with a letter "d". Are you laughing yet? Can you imagine ordering that from a waiter?

32
Daisy
Oct 28, 2009

Did you know about TEAL, the Typo Eradication Advancement League? It was a guy who decided that he would fix the signs he saw with these kinds of mistakes. He was just driving around with a Sharpie and a few other tools to do it. If it was a store, he would ask the owner/manager if he could fix it. His entire website was full of the many signs he encountered on his journey.

Then he made a big mistake: he corrected a sign at the Grand Canyon. The park service found out what he had done and charged him with conspiracy to vandalize government property. Sadly, the website is now gone so you can't see all the hilarious signs he saw along the way.

I love finding signs with incorrect grammar or spelling. Now I have a small collection of funny signs. Pictures, that is. I swear, I'm not stealing eight foot long signs from the fronts of buildings.

Once the guy at Starbucks asked my sister's name so he could call her. She told him her name is Tiffany. He asked again. We thought eh, it's kind of loud in here, he probably didn't hear her. She told him again. He looked at her kind of funny and said, "Do you spell that the normal way?" She said yes. When she finally got her coffee, the side of her cup said Tiphini.

33
Lisa
Oct 28, 2009

At work we have a logbook where we write anything that the other employees might need to know. One of my coworkers makes it too much for me to handle sometimes. Her entries have included the words huneymoone (honeymoon) sense (since) and offal (awful), and my personal favorite 'tie-ten' (tighten). Yikes.

This isn't a misspelling but it makes me laugh every time I think about it. I was in Guatemala a few months ago and very intimidating guard, with a very serious look on his face, yelled "ATTENTION BABIES AND GENTLEMAN!" I'm assuming he meant ladies instead of babies but I like his version better.

34
NothingButBonfires
Oct 28, 2009

Oh, these are killing me, you guys, KILLING ME. Turns out "tomottow" is the LEAST funny of them all!

35
Christina
Oct 28, 2009

I have a few very dear friends who are HORRIFIC spellers...

First was a text message from my friend who HATES Rachel Ray, declaring that she can't stand to watch her, because she "jesters" (gestures) too much. Ooooookay.

The other was a conversation over IM when I was a senior in college... I can't remember the exact context, but my friend and I were talking smack about someone or something in a rather impolite fashion, and she made a comment about something being "peacy"... took me a good minute or two to realize she was getting at "PC", aka "politically correct." Right.

36
Toni M
Oct 28, 2009

Hmmm - my husband writes regularly in a blog community that's based in the US - we are in Australia. There he has had many arguments with people who believe, truly in their heart, that the French exclamation "Voila" (often misspelled as a musical instrument) is actually "Walla", or "Wa-la". Which is not a word AT ALL. Unless you count the city in Washington, which is Walla Walla anyway. But as a sub-editor, spelling is my business. Favourite? "A deadly clam settled over the village". Never felt the same way about clams...

37
Michelle
Oct 28, 2009

I was in the spelling bee in 5th grade and was given the word "biscuit." I spelled it "bisquit" after the spelling on the box of Bisquick that my mom would make Sunday pancakes with.

38
Chrissy
Oct 28, 2009

OMG I'm DYING over "It's not rocket surgery!" BAH.

I was once at a restaurant in Lima, Peru, that offered "Pancakes filled" --the next part came on the line below, as menu descriptions will, which just added to the greatness, as it made it this kind of dramatic ellipsis--"...with sweat."

39
Karen
Oct 28, 2009

Hey, Bibbs - Rocket surgery is somewhat of a meme. You've already earned yourself a bit of a laugh on a few websites. Which is why it it's one of those things people say... did anyone really think someone brought up "rocket surgery" and no one called them one it. Wishful internet thinking.

40
Jo
Oct 28, 2009

Hehe, these are hilarious! I'm exactly the same, picking apart menus and signs.

One of the best ones I've seen was a chinese restaurant that had obviously done a 'find and replace' on their spelling of 'aubergine' and replaced it with 'aborigine'... Fried... Crumbed... Stir-Fry...

Oh, and my best friend's ex once came out of the shower at our apartment nd announced that he was 'clean as a fiddle', he was also totally convinced that the saying was 'once in a green moon'.

41
Tracy
Oct 29, 2009

OK, since this thread has somewhat morphed from misspellings into misheard sayings, I'll offer my favorite:

My ex and I were hiking through the "jungle" in Hawaii. And he told me that we had to be careful of the fetal pigs.

I was thinking -- why, has a science project gone terribly awry?

42
AZ Colleen
Oct 29, 2009

Ok, mines not really a spelling story but along the same lines... A million years ago I had to have an eye surgery called a vitrectomy and my sister went around telling everyone that I had a vasectomy. Keep in mind this is the same girl who pronounced Don Quixote "Don Quicksoat". :)

43
robin
Oct 29, 2009

Ok, here's a good one...When my best friend and I were in the 9th grade, she told me that, and I quote! "heaven rhymes with Kevin, so it's spelled H-E-V-E-N." Uh...

We pretty much have NEVER let her live that one down!

44
kvv
Oct 30, 2009

Well, here's the caveat: My husband is from the Netherlands, so English is a second language, but he comes up with some DOOZIES.

Here's just a few from an email I read this morning:

Sealing, meaning ceiling
Soal, meaning soul
Fokes, meaning folks

And here's the running joke between us in which he drives me nuts: He calls me "Sweety." One time I gently and kindly tried to correct him on this. He smiled and said, "I know it's spelled that way, spell check always tells me to change it. But I LIKE spelling it like that!" So now the little notes he leaves me always say "I love you, sweety!" Gah!

45
Deidre
Oct 30, 2009

I'm an American who lives in Australia. And when I went back to the US for a while, my friend mailed a t-shirt to remind me of Melbourne. She had spent so long with the guy to spell the front of the shirt correctly (a inside joke: playa puh-lease) and the back was just supposed to say American Woman.

except it said "Amercian Woman" hilarious.

46
joaaanna
Oct 30, 2009

Go to the This American Life website and listen to the podcast named, "The Book That Changed Your Life". Listen to David Sedaris' entry about the book that he found in the woods (start around 16:30). I laughed like the devil. And then the best part of it all... last week I went to see David Sedaris LIVE! He signed my book, "I've ponched all your nopples." My life is now complete.

47
susie
Oct 31, 2009

Oh, Holly. If you enjoy a good misspelling then you must come to Cairo. Misspellings abound! For example, how would you like some "fesh and shebs" for lunch? Perhaps a orio cocks (oreo cookie) milkshake to wash down your fish and chips? And none of the above can be very good for you aworta (aorta)...

48
Elaina Winter
Nov 01, 2009

My friend, Esther, was an exchange student from Mexico visiting Atlanta. She spoke English very well, but every now and then, quotes were lost in translation. She was telling a story to my mother and I about someone who was bothering her and she said, "He really drives my nuts!" My mom and I just looked at one another and started laughing so hard we cried.
This is now a family quote!

49
Helen
Nov 02, 2009

My two favourite misspellings are from menus. One was in Barcelona that offered "red peeper" in its paella. The other was in Prague, where the salad bowl contained "sweet porn". We have photos of both, and they are always guaranteed to make me chuckle when I see them.

50
Melissa
Nov 02, 2009

My husband is an amazing guy, with many talents and skills, but spelling is not his thing. He has me proof writing for him often, he knows his spelling is 'challenged'.

When we were dating, after our engagement, he started signing things (birthday cards, notes, etc.) "Love All Ways,". After a few times of this, I mentioned it to him and told him the correct spelling was "always".

He told me that he knew that, but that he meant "All Ways". As in "I love you in all ways".

We now have a framed collage of photos over our bed. The pictures in the collage make up the words "All Ways".

51
Terri
Nov 04, 2009

I, too, collect spelling/grammar errors, but the all-time best (or worst, depending upon how you view it) was an ad for Kentucky Fried Chicken in Key Biscayne, FL (Miami). It was one of those bus stop benches painted with the sign, and they spelled it "Kentuky" Fried Chicken. This was a professionally painted ad sign for a national restaurant. How many people had to miss that before it actually made it onto the bus stop bench???? No wonder they go by KFC now. :)

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