Fringe Benefits

So I got bangs this weekend, which is something I was saying I was going to do for the last couple of weeks, but which I was still only half-heartedly thinking about until I saw 500 Days of Summer a couple of days ago and realized what an annoying movie-goer I was being by repeatedly elbowing my companions in the ribs and whispering "That's the hair I want! That hair! Her hair! Right there!"

(Speaking of that movie, by the way, I rather enjoyed it---and it had a pretty rocking soundtrack---but I cannot wrap my mind around its main premise, which is why the heck Tom Hansen even liked Summer Finn so much. I mean, I know her bangs were great and everything, but she was so selfish and self-absorbed! I sat through the whole thing constructing theories about how maybe he just wanted to be her boyfriend so he could steal all her clothes and make a killing selling them on ebay to people like me.)

Regardless! I have some seriously blunt bangs now, and I really kind of like them, even though they are A) a massive change, B) more than a little similar to the haircut Suri Cruise is currently sporting, and C) responsible for those two 1960s minidresses I bought this afternoon, my only defense being well, they totally go with my hair. Blunt bangs are also, it seems, a little more high-maintenance than the swoopy kind I'm used to, and when I say "high-maintenance," it is really just a polite way of reminding myself that I might not want to look in the mirror first thing in the morning, at least not without running a brush through my hair first. I swear to god, when I caught a glimpse of myself pre-shower today, I thought Sean had taped a promotional poster for The Monkees to the bathroom wall:

I looked like a combination of the two dudes in the front. I was even wearing a stripey shirt like the one on the right. Uncanny!

There are, however, some serious upsides to having bangs, not least of which is that they are incredibly forgiving. I will never, for example, have to attend to my eyebrows ever again! You can't even see them! Why bother! Ditto for worrying about wrinkles. Now that my forehead is no longer on display, I shall furrow my brow with abandon, I think. Take that, people who want Botox! Just cut some bangs instead!

(By the way, this has nothing to do with anything else, but Sean and I frequently use "Botox!" as a highly satisfactory swear word. Go on, try it. I think we started saying it as an alternative to "Bollocks!"---which, along with chocolate Hobnobs and Nigel Barker, is one of Britain's better imports to this country---but it always seems to get the point across very well when one is marginally angry about something, yet not quite angry enough to use the F-word. Forgot to buy cream for your coffee when you were at the grocery store last night? Botox! Late for work and can't find your shoes? Botox!  Accidentally left the oven on and burned your whole house down with all your possessions inside? Bo---no, on second thought, it doesn't work for everything.)

Anyway, I can't even remember why I started writing this entry, but I'm pretty sure I know how I'm going to finish it, and that's by showing you a picture of the discarded wig I found on the sidewalk outside my bedroom window this morning. I know, just take a moment to read that sentence over again, I'll wait. It's pretty much the weirdest thing I've ever seen lying on a pavement, and all day, my brain has been buzzing with stories about how it got there.

Even more mind-boggling is the fact that I just looked outside the window again and it's gone. Which either means its rightful owner came to collect it, weeping with relief at the reunion, or someone else in San Francisco got bangs this weekend and didn't wait long enough to discover that the morning-after Monkees look goes away as soon as you wash and blow-dry them. Oh honey, no need to steal a curly wig from the sidewalk to cover them up, I promise. In any case, I doubt it's much of an improvement.

1
Chloe
Oct 04, 2009

I don't even know what to say right now except...hey hey we're The Monkees, and people say we monkey around...but we're too busy singing...to PUT ANYBODY DOWWWWN.

That's now totally stuck in my head. ARGH.

Your bangs, though, are super hotness from what I can see from the picture on the right. Yowza. You're kinda making me feel twitchy to chop!

2
silverblue
Oct 04, 2009

Hot fringe! (Why are they called 'bangs' in the States?)

3
Amy --- Just A Titch
Oct 04, 2009

My hair is far too insane for bangs, but I found myself completely in love with the fashion/style in 500 Days of Summer.

Oh, and using Botox! as a swear word is adorable, as are your bangs!

xo

4
May @ Anne and May
Oct 04, 2009

I love how no matter where you took this post, you kept it in the realm of hair. That's focus.

Also, I can't wait to see your fringe tomorrow.

(Oh, that sounded bad, didn't it?)

5
Jamie
Oct 04, 2009

If I had read this entry a week ago I would've been equally weirded out by the wig on your sidewalk, but last week I was introduced to this blog: http://girlyoulostyourweave.blogspot.com/

And now I know that wig-losing is apparently a common problem. Especially in my fair city of St. Louis.

Cute bangs!

6
Beth
Oct 05, 2009

Ha! We've lived in a "gentrifying" neighborhood of Seattle for 5 years now, and are constantly finding pieces of weave and wondering how they go there. We've even invented a song called "Pieces of Weave" to the tune of that awful Ashlee Simpson song "Pieces of Me" from a few years back.

7
B
Oct 05, 2009

Fab! I wish I could pull them off, but my Mediterranean (read: oily) skin does hideous things to bangs after a few hours.

A girlfriend of mine got similar bangs (actually quite literally as a solution to Botox) and loved them, but she said the maintenance was a b*tch. I did find a "Daily Candy Everywhere" video on how to trim your own bangs that I sent her and she said was helpful, so maybe check that out ....

8
Bethany
Oct 05, 2009

Your bangs look fantastic -- when I tried for Zooey Deschanel bangs, I ended up looking like Rod Blagojevich.

9
Hilary
Oct 05, 2009

Love the bangs! My husband and I have joked about the cliche PWC for years and then, just after our wedding, I had the urge to cut mine! I am holding off for now but maybe it's some sort of psychological need?! No idea. Here's hoping whatever I decide my hair will look as fab as yours!

10
beyond
Oct 05, 2009

i love the bangs. they really make your eyes pop. maybe this is more of a european look? très chic.

11
suz
Oct 05, 2009

I am shocked that you never found a wig on the sidewalk outside your apartment in downtown Charleston. 'Cause I did, more than once!

12
Sheila
Oct 05, 2009

Wait... are your SURE that was actually a wig? Because to me, it looks like a small mammal of some sort, which would explain how it moved.

Also, it might explain the crash heard in the night a few days ago. Your apartment was overrun with small curly hedgehogs, or something.

13
Betsy
Oct 05, 2009

That would be Davy on the left and Mike in the stripy shirt (I had a serious Monkee addiction when I was younger--oh alright and now) and I felt the same way about 500 days of summer. Sure, she had great clothes, but she wasn't exactly a prize....

14
soul-fusion
Oct 05, 2009

I had bangs my whole life (due to a truly terrible hair line) until I was about 25 when I realized a side sweep worked at disguising the awkward growing forward part of my hairline. And for the most part, I have never missed bangs. Until now. Actually, until I saw 500 Days of Summer and you reminded me. I wanted her bangs as well. And I LOVED that movie.

15
Rachael W
Oct 05, 2009

"Never Mind the Bollocks, Here's the Sex Pistols" is my favorite album name ever, solely because it uses the word "bollocks." "Hot fringe" -- in regards to the person who left that as a comment -- would make a great quirky electro-indie band name, kind of along the lines of Hot Chip.

As for the wig... at this point, don't you just shrug and say, "Well, it's San Francisco..."?

16
Lexi
Oct 05, 2009

I cant get used to calling a fringe "bangs" ... never will.

17
abbersnail
Oct 05, 2009

Your bangs are adorable.

I'm never surprised by things I see on the sidewalk anymore. It's like the entirety of San Francisco puts their random crap out on the street corner and calls it a day.

18
Christina
Oct 05, 2009

You have to let us know if it shows up on the little table in your lobby tomorrow or the next... teehee

19
Gabe Hartwig
Oct 05, 2009

Love it! That's what I thought the first time I saw a wig on the sidewalk.

http://girlyoulostyourweave.blogspot.com/

20
Leah
Oct 06, 2009

Must be leftover from Love Parade. I guess sometimes love needs disguise?

LOVE the bangs (and the new hair color?) This is exactly what I pictured when you mentioned blunt bangs, and it looks every bit as faboo as I thought it would. Am getting bangs myself this week, despite your reminder that they are majorly high maintenance whereas I am not. Botox!

21
sutswana
Oct 06, 2009

Yay!!! Liberation! Good move.
Now awaiting posts several months from now when you start to grow them out.

22
lauren
Oct 06, 2009

I saw a long strand of weave on the way home from work today. Weird. I also got bangs last week. And I LOVE LOVE LOVE Zooey Deschanel, but GOD I hated her in that movie. She's lucky she's so pretty and stylish because those were her only redeeming qualities in that movie.

23
Emily
Oct 12, 2009

I love it - very chic! I recently converted to the blunt look after rocking the side-swept bangs for about four years (yikes! can't believe I stuck with a hairstyle that long!). The whole unkept brows shield is pretty much the greatest thing ever. I'm sure we're saving at least $15 every 6-8 weeks. My new motto: "Meh. The bangs will take care of it."

24
Velma
Oct 13, 2009

I'm so happy bangs are back in, since I've worn them my ENTIRE LIFE, thanks to a strawberry birthmark on my forehead. In fact, when I tried to grow them out last year, I only lasted 3 weeks! (My stylist thinks I'm a dork, by the way.)

25
Isobel
Nov 05, 2009

I too get confused by why Americans call a fringe 'bangs'. And why is is plural?

26
Satchel
May 18, 2016

This is what we need - an insight to make evyerone think

Keep on writing and chugging away!

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