Honestly, You Go Away For Two Weeks And The Next Thing You Know, Macaulay Culkin Has Fathered Blanket Jackson

Somewhere in the middle of my jetlag haze in the wee small hours of this morning, one very clear and succinct thought came to me from nowhere: I should get bangs. Except, seeing as I'm English, it was more like I should get a fringe.

So as soon as it reached a time that was legal to telephone people, I made a hair appointment---something I haven't done since March, if you can believe it, when I started growing my hair out for the wedding---and then later I tried to google the exact hairstyle I wanted, only to find out that it didn't exist. I mean, I know what I want---I think, kind of---but apparently no-one else in the history of the world (or at least no-one in the history of the world who is easily googleable) has this particular hairstyle, which is kind of a shaggy bob with blunt bangs.....or maybe a blunt bob with shaggy bangs, I'm not sure. I wonder if I can just draw the stylist a stick-figure cartoon. Or maybe beam her directly inside my head to look at the tiny pictures there.

I think what I really want is just something different. It seems the most obvious sign in the Book of Obvious Symbolism, but now that the wedding's over and we're back from the honeymoon, I've got this almost desperate urge to start making changes. No, wait, Changes---you know, with a capital C. These Changes have manifested themselves primarily in my hair---honestly, who else sits up in bed at 4am, BANGS! I MUST HAVE BANGS! in an illuminated speech bubble above her head?---but I am also, suddenly, obsessed with redecorating my apartment. Internet, I only walked back into my apartment 24 hours ago, after a three-week absence from it; could I not just appreciate for the way it is a little while before becoming struck, violently and immediately, with the urge to paint my bedroom dark charcoal gray? (You know what? I blame her.)

It's like I suddenly need projects again, I guess: something to focus on or work towards, after two weeks of rest and slothfulness. One might argue that my first project might be catching up on all the episodes of Top Model and Mad Men I've missed while we were away---and I would agree with the person who argued this, YOU ARE RIGHT ON THE MONEY, SIR, JUST CHECK MY DVR QUEUE---but I've got this weird itch to nest as well, to clean and paint and throw out and upgrade. Part of it's the brand new shiny pile of wedding presents sitting in the corner of the kitchen---the Leaning Tower of Crate and Barrel, as we're calling it---and my utter delight in having exciting new things to find places for (anyone else get satisfaction out of organizing their glassware or am I alone in my sickness?), but part of it's also the desire to create something new, to start over, to demarcate our life Before Getting Married and our life As A Married Couple, despite the fact that they're both taking place in the same six hundred and ninety seven square feet of space. 

But anyway, I'm getting ahead of myself, aren't I? I haven't even told you all about the wedding or the honeymoon, and though both are undoubtedly old news by now---in the breakneck, chop-chop, keep-it-coming turf of the Internet, anyway---I'm afraid that I simply still have quite a bit to say about each, so you won't get off that easy.

Did I mention, by the way, the organist who WOULD. NOT. STOP. PLAYING, even after we'd finished the first hymn, all four verses of it? Not only did she then play a fifth verse, during which we all looked around and smiled nervously, but after that torturous two minutes of my life was over, she went on and played a sixth one as well. I assure you, I thought I was being Punked by Mr. Ashton Kutcher himself, although at that point, it became universally hilarious rather than just mildly mortifying, with both Sean and I struggling (and failing) to keep a straight face up at the altar, while this poor octogenarian organist bashed on and on and on and everyone stood there, glancing around anxiously, like "but there are no more words. What do we sing?"

After a while, one of my bridesmaids even touched her on the shoulder gently, whispering "I think we're done now." The organist, her face like thunder, looked up at my poor helpful bridesmaid, gritted her teeth, and hissed "I.....have.....to.....FINISH!", whereupon my poor bridesmaid retreated meekly back to her place and waited it out, smirking mirthfully like the rest of us. 

Sadly---or maybe happily?---there is no video evidence of this, although happily---yes, definitely happily---it was the only major thing to go wrong on the day (I mean, I could talk for hours about how the swizzle sticks were in the wrong place or Men's Wearhouse gave Sean the wrong cravatte, but no-one would ever have noticed that but me), and so I guess that's pretty lucky; my mother, for instance, once attended a wedding where the organist NEVER EVEN SHOWED UP, so the poor bride had to walk down the aisle in complete silence, the only sound the clicking of her heels on the stone floor of the church and her pitiful and unmistakable weeping. So, you know, small mercies and all that.

What I do have video evidence of, however, is my walk down the aisle, courtesy of a very accommodating Simon, who gallantly took on the role of Chief Video Camera Wielder about three seconds before the wedding party was set to enter the church.

"Oh my god, I forgot to give someone the Flip!" I whispered in the Ladies' Waiting Room, which was actually just the church library, very nicely and thoughtfully accessorized with a full-length mirror, ice-cold bottles of water, and two incredibly sweet and helpful wedding co-ordinator women, one of whom stood outside the toilet stall and held my bouquet while I struggled to un-Spanx and then re-Spanx myself moments before the ceremony, kindly ignoring whatever curse words I might have been (very un-churchily) muttering. "Don't worry," whispered one of my bridesmaids---incidentally, the very same one who tried to get the organist to wind down during the ceremony; I guess we know whose name I'll be engraving on that MVP trophy---"I'll sneak into the church and find someone to use it."

That someone turned out to be the marvelous Simon---which reminds me, he needs an MVP trophy too---and this is how we got this. If you turn the volume up high, you can hear my brother Luke playing Pachelbel's Canon in D in the background. But possibly not over the sound of Sean sobbing.

Walk Down the Aisle from Holly on Vimeo.

PS: Sean would like you to know that he was NOT sobbing, that the church was very dusty and he had something in his eye. Wait, both eyes. For, like, ten minutes. And anyway, even if he was crying, they were very manly tears, the sort of tears men cry, and right after he cried them, he ate a three-pound steak, rare and bloody, with his bare hands, and then lifted a car with his pinky finger while putting up shelves, all the time reciting baseball stats while wearing a lumberjack shirt.

(Ah, whatever, buddy---I see you wiping the tears away at 2:28. Can't fool me.) 

Sep 22, 2009

Oh, so romantic! What's the white stuff floating in the air? Is it pollen? It gives the video a very ethereal, romantic look, and I know I can say that only as a person who does not suffer from allergies.

Nothing But Bonfires
Sep 22, 2009

Ha! I don't know what it was -- I didn't notice it at all during the ceremony, but the Flip was HD, so it seems to have picked up EVERYTHING. Maybe...old church dust from 1894? Hmm, appetizing!

Sep 22, 2009

Aww, thanks for letting us stand at the back! It looks from the photos as though you had a wonderful day. Please feel free to tell the wedding/honeymoon stories in minute detail!

Sep 22, 2009

Haha! Guess what color I just painted my bedroom? Not charcoal, but a very lovely, IMO, gray none the less.

You look so gorgeous in the video and I love how you just serenely beam out into the audience when the question about anyone objecting gets asked. Like you wouldn't kill anyone that had anything to say after all the hours of glue sticking doilies and making caramels you've just put into this. :)

Sep 22, 2009

Thank you so much for sharing your day with us - you both looked so happy and gorgeous! I think my husband had the same 'allergy' attack that Sean did on our wedding day. Funny how that happens...:)

Sep 22, 2009

I'm so glad you were able to Just. Get. Over! the itty bitty things that didn't go perfectly. That was such a challenge for me, and I can't believe I let it all get under my skin. We had such a lovely party, and I was the only one who noticed ...

Anyway, welcome back. I'm so happy for you both!

Sep 22, 2009

Your wedding looks like it was absolutely perfect. You were, as expected, a vision in that dress (OMG I LOVE THE DRESS) and I love seeing the two of you glowing all over the place in all the photos. {happy sigh}

I remember the post-wedding feeling of...well, that was fun -- what next? Bangs and/or a painting project sound like good ways to combat that feeling.

Sep 22, 2009

Note to Sean: I love it that you cried.

Note to Holly: You were positively BEAMING, and RADIANT. Also? I am glad you explained what Luke was playing, because to me it sounded faintly like "Stairway to Heaven."

Note to you both: Truly, a match made in heaven deserves all six verses.

Sep 22, 2009

Oh honey, WAIT til you get caught up on Mad Men. Although I'm never going to understand your Thing for Pete Campbell (he's a weasel!)... still, this past Sunday's episode held so many "HOLY MOTHER!" moments that I can't wait for you to see it.

Sep 22, 2009

Welcome back!

Thank you for sharing so much of your wedding with us! You looked stunning! You were GLOWING!

And I love that Sean cried! So sweet!

Congrats again!

Sep 22, 2009

I just painted my bedroom gray too! All the cool kids are doing it.
I am so glad you had such a wonderful day, it was absolutely beautiful. I LOVE LOVE LOVE your dress.

Sep 22, 2009

You two look lovely! Maybe Sean was wiping blood from that steak out of his eyes? After he ripped into it shortly before the ceremony, of course. ;)

Erin @ Fierce Beagle
Sep 22, 2009

How lovely!

Sep 22, 2009

Welcome home! And, I somehow KNEW you would be ready for another project when you returned. All that wedding planning makes "non-project" life seem so dull and slow. Can't wait to see what you come up with on your hair.

Sep 22, 2009

Wow, that church WAS dusty. Also, I love how the video ends, leaving us all in suspense.

Sep 22, 2009

Hahahha, yes, what you DIDN'T see was that right after that, Sean's ex-girlfriend ran in through the doors, shouting IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME!

Not really. It was actually Dustin Hoffman, banging on the glass, shouting "Elaine! Elaine!" Too bad he had the wrong church.

Sep 22, 2009

Funny to see us working in the background, we are pretty stealth though, not in the way too much... god a diet is needed {for me of course} You both are so wonderful & we are so happy to have been there to capture your wedding!!
P.S. the redecorating issue (and hair change) is a common occurrence amongst recent brides, why does being freshly married make us want to be domestic? A genetic default or something...

Sep 22, 2009

I also plan to paint my bedroom grey, but then realized that after I paint my living room grey, and my dining room grey - um...how is that better than everything being white like right now?

maybe a darker grey in the bedroom - a bluer grey in the living room?

Sep 22, 2009

Oh, but there IS video of the organist. We got it ALL (although not in HD, sadly), as well as audio of the whole thing. That organist cracked me up!

Welcome back!

Sep 22, 2009

lol! i won't speak for sean and his dusty eyes but I'M crying. The description of the organist was too hilarious!

Sep 22, 2009

Lovely. Just lovely. I might have cried a little too.

So did you get bangs yet? Because I thought it would be a good idea to get bangs a few weeks ago. I was wrong. Dead wrong. I don't know what made me think that because they look awesome on Whoorl that they would look good on me. Whoorl doesn't have stinking cowlicks.

Anyways, happy wedding! Happy marriage! You look beautiful!

Rachael W
Sep 22, 2009

The wedding looks lovely! Thank you so much for sharing the video with us.

I also succumbed to the "I should get bangs" idea about five months ago, and they've worked out fine for me. More importantly, I have a friend who has a bob with fringed bangs! It looks adorable on her. You should try it.

Sep 22, 2009

what a sweet video, and your hair and makeup is gorgeous in the SMP pics! i've been having trouble finding a makeup person for my wedding...would you mind sharing what you used on your lips?

my stylist usually has to talk me down from crazy hair ideas. the latest one is his determination that my hair MAY NOT go any longer than my collarbones.

Patty V
Sep 22, 2009

No no, I've been waiting for all the scoop on the wedding, so don't think we all have zoomed right past that just cause it's been a few weeks! It looks like it was such a beautiful day for you...congratulations!

Sep 22, 2009

I'm sure you're already know this (because you're quoted in the post), but your beautiful wedding is on Style Me Pretty today: http://www.stylemepretty.com/2009/09/22/san-diego-wedding-by-erin-hearts.... Lovely!

Sep 22, 2009

Beautiful. It brings tears to my eyes when I see a groom welling up on the wedding day.

I don't know if this has been stated, but I'm curious, did you change your name?

Nothing But Bonfires
Sep 22, 2009

Hi Connie -- nope, I haven't changed my name.

Sep 23, 2009

I am totally weeping over here... nothing makes me cry worse than a guy crying. How sweet is that, I ask you? Waaaaaaaah!

Thank you! Nice article . Actualy it’s very usefull for any new bloggers like me.It is the point we must know to beguin any site. This will help a lot.

Sep 28, 2009

I keep checking back on your site to see the new photo of you with bangs. Have you done it? Will you? Please? Seriously, I have become a little bit obsessed. Hesitating? Afraid it'll bomb? It's just hair! And you're so pretty you can carry any 'do, I bet.

I went from Perpetual Shoulder-Length Bob to Pixie over the summer and I don't think I"ll ever go back.

Mar 25, 2011

dgxSU1 qggjgyiwowyn, [url=http://ianmzjfzpnwl.com/]ianmzjfzpnwl[/url], [link=http://xmyclkdbuamv.com/]xmyclkdbuamv[/link], http://tnhxwvxbjzzr.com/

Post new comment

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.

More information about formatting options

Just to make sure you have a pulse
Enter the characters (without spaces) shown in the image.