The Most Shocking Rose Ceremony Ever!
I can't hear the word "bachelorette" without thinking of The Bachelor, that saccharine-sweet melodrama I once took joy in recapping until the ratio of normal dialogue to dialogue containing phrases like "amazing journey" and "great connection" and "here for the right reasons" became too much to stomach and I stopped. (I kept watching, though. As if you'd doubt it.)
This weekend Sean and I celebrated our bachelor and bachelorette parties, and ew, even just typing that word, bachelorette, made me want to go disinfect a hot tub somewhere. In England, we call these sorts of celebrations hen nights---or stag nights for the men---and I think I actually prefer that, if that's alright with you. So this weekend was my hen night and Sean's stag night, except Sean's stag night was actually a stag weekend: he went up to a cabin in Yosemite which was apparently owned by a man named---I kid you not---Bronze, and there he and his friends did manly, stag-night-ish things like hike and drink beer and ride ATVs.
When he left on Friday, I wasn't quite sure at first what to do with myself; I felt like maybe I was supposed to call up a bunch of male strippers or something. Since I don't know any male strippers, however, I settled for getting my veil out and trying it on a few times and sort of prancing around a bit, and that was great until my cat, Sadie, bounded over in some misguided attempt to play Dress Up Bride with mommy, stuck out her claw enthusiastically, and ripped it. YES, RIPPED MY VEIL. MY WEDDING VEIL. THAT I'M WEARING FOR MY WEDDING. THAT WEDDING VEIL.
A full second passed as slowly as an hour after that, during which my mouth fell open in slow motion and a cartoon-like gasp came out, sounding sort of like this: ghaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. After I had hyperventilated a little and then googled "cat ripped my veil!" and "how to mend wedding veil!" and "TORN WEDDING VEIL OMFG"---have you ever wondered who those people are who google weird things and end up at your blog? BECAUSE THOSE PEOPLE ARE ME---I decided to calm down, try and forget about it for the moment, and bring it with me to the dress fitting I had the next day.
And there, my magical seamstress took one look at it, sighed, sewed in a few stitches with invisible thread, and then said "I challenge you to find that rip your cat made." And what do you know, Internet, I couldn't find the rip my cat made. "You know, I've heard that tearing your wedding veil is actually very lucky," I told my seamstress, for that's what I had learned on my extensive googling mission the day before. "Eh," she shrugged. "They just tell you that because there's no real way to fix it."
Anyway, I seem to have gone way off track here, because what I wanted to talk about was my Non-Bachelorette Bachelorette Party, organized by the lovely Moose. We called it a Non-Bachelorette Bachelorette Party because we all agreed there were to be no tiaras or body shots or.....anatomy-shaped ephemera, if you know what I'm saying and I think you do. My Non-Bachelorette Bachelorette Party, therefore, turned out to be a very swanky and sophisticated and enjoyable affair, during which cocktails and champagne and a delicious dinner were consumed, everyone wore their prettiest dresses, and my hair, for once in my life, actually did what I wanted it to do. Thank you, hair. Now do that again in three weeks.
Leah, Kristin, me, Moose, and May. I only befriend attractive people, you know.
It was a lovely evening, full of good conversation and lots of laughter. Thanks, friends, for making it so much fun! Be warned, though: for the next one of these, I'm totally inviting that man named Bronze as a very special guest. I can't wait to see your faces when I introduce him.
Aug 17, 2009
I'm resisting the urge to say something obnoxious like OMFG you're getting married in three weeks!! Because that's not really going to help anything is it?
I bought my wedding veil ripped because it was basically free at that point. It had a ton of tiny rips in it that you can't see from the pictures and you couldn't tell if you were looking at it unless you knew to look for them. So *shrug* it all worked out. I'm glad you got your fixed though.
Aug 18, 2009
It looks like refined fun was had by all. By chance, do you only befriend blonde people as well? (Perhaps to make your lovely brown hair all the more sparkly?) Congratulations and Best of luck in the next three weeks!
Aug 18, 2009
Your hen night looked like a lot of fun - you can't go wrong with gin cocktails. I just went to my first ever hen night, and it did feature tiaras and anatomically shaped straws, in traditional style, but luckily no strippers or baby oil, so all was well.
In Canada they call them stag and doe nights, which makes more sense, as I always thought that the mixing of the animal species in hen and stag was a little weird, and hen and cockerel just sounds odd. (And also has the potential for more smut.)
Aug 18, 2009
loving the green dress xxxx
Aug 18, 2009
Oh dear, I'm worried that Mrs Obama may be too intimidated to come to the wedding now because she doesn't have dress as pretty in her wardrobe.
Aug 18, 2009
Wow. You really do only befriend beautiful people. Huh. And do thye have to be blonde, too? I mean, I have to tell you, I tried that blonde thing once...
Anyway...glad you had such a nice time with your friends. And even if the cat ripping your veil wasn't lucky, finding a great seamstress was.
Aug 18, 2009
Holly, you look amazing! (And true, your friends are beautiful too.) So glad you had a fun hen night!
Aug 18, 2009
Don't go promising Bronze if you can't deliver Bronze. I WILL BE VERY DISAPPOINTED IF THERE'S NO BRONZE. Or if Bronze is wearing pants.
(My efforts to remain classy fail yet again.)
Aug 18, 2009
that green dress looks like it was designed for you. just lovely.
Aug 18, 2009
Can Bronze be my date for the wedding? I don't mind leaving SVV at home if it means I can cut a rug with a dude named BRONZE.
Aug 18, 2009
Two things are to be complimented in this post: first, the fact that you didn't perform a home declawing of your cat right that instant, because I would have effing lost it. Secondly, to Moose: your arm looks incredibly buff and defined in that shot where you're lifting a spoon. Very impressive.
Also, oh my god---you're getting married!
Aug 18, 2009
Jemima would've evened out the blone/brunette ratio. I miss her from your posts.
Moose's comments always crack me up. Well defined arms AND funny.
Aug 18, 2009
Such gorgeous ladies! (And your hair is divine.)
Aug 18, 2009
I actually made my own veil & sewed a string of tiny beads all around the edges. And while getting ready for the wedding that morning, the beads began to detach & I was devastated. But it worked out - no one could tell that the strings weren't quite attached & the pictures looked great.
Also, I know a family who gave their sons mineral-type middle names - Stone & Steel. I asked them once if there was a particular reason for such unique middle names & the father (a former Marine) flexed his muscles & replied, "Yup - named one after each arm". :D
Aug 18, 2009
SERPENTINE!!! This brings back memories of oysters benedict brunch. Fabulous. Your dress is even better!
Aug 18, 2009
horrifying and hilarious! I'm glad you were able to have it fixed :)
Aug 18, 2009
I went to a bachelorette party on Saturday night. It was the opposite of yours, what with the deck of cards the bride-to-be had, which contained things she had to do, like take a shot off some guy.
I have told my friends over and over and over that I prefer a bachelorette party like you just had! Because it's about going out and spending time with friends! I don't need to get a number from a strange man! Or do a body shot off a toothless stranger!
Aug 18, 2009
i am de-lurking to ask where you got that fabulous dress. gah, must have!
Aug 18, 2009
Thank you! It's made by Kensie. Look, I found it here! http://www.thefashionpolice.net/2009/03/dress-of-the-day-kensie-silk-sha...
I pity the person who paid $118 for it at Macy's, though, as I paid $29.99 at TJ Maxx.
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