What Do You Wear To Your Own Engagement Party?
One of the things I've always wanted is an engagement party. Funny thing about an engagement party, though: you can only have it at a very specific time in your life. It's not like saying "you know, one of the things I've always wanted is a really awesome Mac computer" and then running out to the Apple Store and buying yourself a really awesome Mac computer. No, an engagement party is far more elusive. To check it off your "I've always wanted that" list, you generally have to be a) engaged, b) friends with the kind of people who throw kickass parties, and c)---and this part is really important---friends with the kind of people who not only throw kickass parties but also actually like you enough to throw one in your honor.
Luckily enough, we meet the criteria!
Our very best friends in San Francisco are hosting an engagement party for us this weekend, and I just wanted to show you the invitation because OHMYGODILOVEIT. Sean forbid me from putting any silhouettes on our wedding invitations, you see---mostly because I already had, like, seven other motifs I wanted to use and it was all getting a bit much---and so my friend May made sure we had them on the engagement party invitations instead. She is also making the entire menu for the party---from scratch---based on my favorite foods, including a spiked mint lemonade, caramelized onion and goat cheese dip, fresh corn salad, guacamole, grilled chicken and vegetable skewers, and lemon bars. Don't you love her? Isn't she the kind of person you'd save from a burning building even if it meant you'd get smoke inhalation and wind up in the hospital yourself? Trust me, I feel the same way.
However, I have a dilemma, and it is a dilemma for the ages, passed down through generations of women who no doubt stood in front of their wardrobes, wringing their hands at the contents inside. The dilemma, you see, is this: I don't know what to wear.
Now tell me you haven't had that problem before, because I know you're lying if you do. What to wear has been the source of much anguish since, like, one cavewoman threw an engagement party for another cavewoman and the first cavewoman's favorite tiger-print loincloth was at the dry cleaner that week, so she had to borrow her cousin's instead, and it fit kind of funny and bunched up at the back because her cousin had a whole lot more---how do you say?---junk in the trunk than she did, probably from eating all that bison, which meant the first cavewoman felt kind of crappy and self-conscious all evening because of it.
On the plus side, I've ruled out the tiger-print loincloth, but on the other side---the minus side?---I still haven't a clue what to wear. I have, however, narrowed it down to three choices. I thought maybe you could help.
Going from left to right, Choice A is a sundress I bought at H&M a few weeks ago, along with a pretty cardigan my mother sent me in the mail once (do you see the little applique on the side? Nothing nicer than getting an appliqued cardigan in the mail along with your bills and junk mail, I tell you.) I like it because it's sweet and summery, but it's worth bearing in mind that the party starts at 5pm and will be outdoors for the first few hours; as you may have heard, San Francisco is not known for its warm weather. My guess is that I might be okay in this thin cotton number until we go inside once it gets dark---particularly if it's sunny until then; Saturday is supposed to be 71 degrees---but I might also be a shivering mess of goosebumps. How attractive!
Choice B is a dress I bought in TJ Maxx in February and was delighted to discover was Michael Kors. Ha! More like Michael Scores! It's actually a little bit cuter without the black cardigan, really, but you only have to read the paragraph above to see why that might not be a good idea. I sort of like it with these boots, although my sister Susie has been instructed to bring along the strappy silver sandals I bought her for Christmas last year, because those would go well with it too. My concern, however, is that it might be too dressy---I mean silver jacquard for an outdoor event at 5pm? Maybe I'd be better leaving it for my bachelorette party or something. Not that I have a bachelorette party planned, or that I really even want one much---a nice dinner would be more my speed, my god, I'm old and boring---but still. (Oh, and another thing about this dress? Its empire waist does tend to make one look about five months pregnant. Which is probably not the sort of rumor I want to start at my own engagement party)
Choice C is an oldie but goody; you may remember it as the dress I found in a Singapore shopping center a few years ago for a third of the price of what it would have cost in Bloomingdale's, and also the dress I wore to pose as Vanna White. I really love this dress and I don't get to wear it often enough. It would probably be warm enough, what with the long-ish sleeves, but is it a little too dressy for the occasion? I don't even know anymore. Obviously I have never attended my own engagement party before! What's a person to do?
Actually, you know what would be really hilarious? If I just showed up in my wedding dress, which is, as we speak, hanging in my closet alongside choices A, B, and C above. "Oh, you mean I wasn't supposed to wear this yet?" I could ask. "Wow. Awkward. I got that one wrong."
Jun 11, 2009
and once you've picked an outfit, you still have to come up with what HEAD you're going to wear, where are those options, hmmm?
Jun 11, 2009
Hello, I'm having the same problem (only I'm not trying to decide what to wear to MY engagement party but to yours!). May said a sundress would be appropriate but...it's kinda hard to breastfeed in a sundress, so I'm probably just going to show up in jeans and whatever niceish kind of top that is both cute and...functional. Bummer as I so miss wearing dresses. :(
As for you, I say you get to wear whatever you want because you're the guest of honor. There's no such thing as over-dressed when it's all about you, baby!
Jun 12, 2009
I vote for Choice C.
And again, SO bummed I'm missing this! It's going to be the most fun ever!
Jun 12, 2009
I vote for Choice C.
My second Choice would be B, because I like the boots.
Jun 12, 2009
C! C! C!
Jun 12, 2009
Wow, that made me sound very eager. I just, um... I just like the dress.
Jun 12, 2009
I vote for C.
Jun 12, 2009
I also vote for choice c. Its perfect for an important evening where you and Sean are guests of honour!
Jun 12, 2009
i vote for C too.
and leah - the limits breastfeeding poses on nice dresses makes me sad too! there are only so many button down dresses one can wear before getting very, very bored. i toy with the idea of opening a boutique stocking only clothes one can breastfeed in, to save my regular trawl round the high street each time i have a function to attend.
Jun 12, 2009
B! Love that dress with the little jacket! Pop a wide belt on under your bustline so you don't look pregnant. :D
Jun 12, 2009
Hmmm. You're only going to have one of these parties to show off in your This Was My Life scrapbook when you're 90, yes? So I'd not fret too much about being over-dressed if it were me. I'd wear the one I most wanted my posterity to admire. I'm thinking C, but I like 'em all.
Jun 12, 2009
Posting before I read other comments...
They are all great choices!
My first thought was: Go for A. Because it kind of has the feel of your cake topper. Simple, elegant, old fashioned though it is new (you get the picture). Looks like you would be right at home showing up to your engagement party in say, a turquoise vintage model automobile and not be out of place. Kind of kicks off the whole them of your wedding.
And then: C. Because, dern! That is really a pretty dress and it sets the tone for the evening - an ENGAGEMENT party.
Choice B comes in third just because if you already see it as a bachelorette party dress, then that's your bachelorette party dress.
Have a great time!
Jun 12, 2009
B. It looks... well, virginal. And wedding-y. There aren't a lot of times in life where you can wear white and really REALLY get away with it, so I vote B. With the strappy sandals. Love the boots, but strappy sandals will take it up a notch. You're the guest of honor, after all! WHOO HOOOOO!
Jun 12, 2009
I vote C. It is classy and classic just as you are. Save B for your bachelorette party and A for a special honeymoon dinner.
Jun 12, 2009
C! C!
A could be worn to any number of occasions, so you'll have plenty of chances to wear it. Esp. with the boots, B looks much more bachelorette than engagement. So C, besides being just a lovely dress and very occasion appropriate (you ARE one of the two guests of honor, so dressing up is fine), is there anything better than wearing one of those items from your closet that you just love but don't have the opportunity to trot out often? (Ok, there are better things, but that does rank high on my small pleasures list.)
So definitely C!
Jun 12, 2009
C!
The fabric is daytime appropriate, and the color will carry nicely into the evening. Glitzy shoes/bag will dress it up for evening. [I am not normally this fashion savvy on my own, but I study magazines with more vigor than I ever gave my college courses. I just read an article* that featured a dress somewhat like C. (It's the current issue of People Style Watch (the one with Heidi Klum on the cover). It's the belted dress on p. 114.
(Can anything in a magazine called Style Watch be correctly called "an article?" Seems like overkill.)
Jun 12, 2009
C! I vote C!
I wore a very basic, Banana Republic black dress with pearls and black strappy sandals because our engagement party was that kind of affair. And my mom is a big believer in the whole, "you can't go wrong with a black dress and pearls" and you know what? SHE IS RIGHT!
I'd save A for a bridal luncheon or something like that, B for your bachelorette party or rehearsal dinner (but with the silver shoes) and I'd wear choice C!
HAVE FUN!
Jun 12, 2009
C!
Option A is a pretty sundress but not 'special' enough for your very own engagement party and Option B is maybe a smidgeon overdressed for an afternoon outdoor fête but Option C is perfect!
Have a fabulous engagement party!
Jun 12, 2009
C!!
They are all beautiful, but I think for your engagement party C is the best. It is your party you can be the dressiest!
Have a wonderful time! Congrats!!
Jun 12, 2009
C all the way. It's lovely. (so are the other options, by the way).
Jun 12, 2009
CCCCCCCCCC!
Jun 12, 2009
My first choice would be C, b/c that dress is awesome, and for an evening party at which you are a guest of honor, and furthermore, the bride guest of honor, it is not at all too dressy. I think a bride should be a bit more dressy than everyone else. Just a bit though, not 'wearing her wedding dress several months early' dressy. (as funny as that would be)
My second choice would be B w/ the strappy silver sandals.
I didn't have an engagement party, but I wore this great black dress to my rehearsal dinner that I had worn on the 2nd date with my husband. Which happened to be a memorable date. :) I wanted to wear my black doc martens to the rehearsal dinner (as I did on our 2nd date--it was 1994, after all) but was overruled.
it still looked cute w/ dressy shoes. not as bad-ass as w/ my black docs, but cute.
Jun 12, 2009
C. A is too casual, B involves boots, which I know some people are okay with in summer, but I'm not a fan.
Jun 12, 2009
They're all lovely, but I like C best.
Jun 12, 2009
Um.... in case you hadn't noticed, I think everyone agrees with me.
C!
Jun 12, 2009
I vote B if you can do it with sandals (or at least not the boots.)
All are really cute though! You'll look great no matter what.
Jun 12, 2009
Well, I love B; I think the boots are so chic with the silvery jacquard, and I don't think it would be too dressy.
However, you seem to really love C, and if there's one thing you simply MUST remember when dressing for any occasion: You must feel comfortable in it. I didn't get that vibe as strong from the other two choices.
So I'd go with C!
Jun 12, 2009
I think you should wear all three! Not at the same time, mind you, but rather you should stage costume changes throughout the evening, and make a very elaborate entrace each time. Sort of like a Beyonce concert.
Heh. Only kidding. I vote for C.
Jun 12, 2009
I vote for either B or C. I like B because it looks wedding-ish, and I seriously doubt people will think you're pregnant. (Not to mention, when you don't give birth in 7 months, well, all doubt will be removed.) I like C because I think the dress+high heels look is great for an engagement party, whereas I am less enthused about dress+boots. Specifically for an engagement party, that is.
I don't think you need to worry about being too dressy at your own engagement party. In fact, I think you are supposed to be one of the more dressed up people there.
Jun 12, 2009
I like A or C. The silver dress, with the tall black boots, just doesn't do it for me. Though I'd probably love it with strappy sandals. C is great because you can bring along the black cardigan just in case.
Jun 12, 2009
Totally in the minority, but I vote A!
Jun 12, 2009
i feel as if I will be shunned from the blogging world for this -
but I'm voting for A.
It just seems so light, and airy and....San Franciso-ey.
Not that I've ever been to San Francisco, or California for that matter, but I have this vision in my head in which dress A fits perfectly. Hence, why I voted for it.
I also agree that dress B should go for your Bachelorette party, with strappy shoes, and a wide belt (as another commenter suggested) NO cardigan.
Dress C is absolutely lovely, I just adore it, and it is very versatile, so I would say, if you go along with what everyone else is saying, and choose C, well then that would be just fine too.
I'm sure you'll look just wonderful in whatever you pick!
Jun 12, 2009
I like option B with the shoes from option C. It's not too dressy and besides, you are the guest of honor so you can be as dressy as you wanna be!
Jun 12, 2009
I'd vote C. Darker colors are okay for an evening event and who cares if you're too dressy? It's your engagement party (and as you yourself said, you don't get many chances for one of those) and you can get as dressed up as you want to.
Jun 12, 2009
C...hands down.
Jun 12, 2009
I vote B! Mainly because it is almost impossible to be too dressed up at one's own engagement party, and it is appropriately sparkly and white. The only way to be over-dressed? Show up in a wedding dress. So luckily, you've already considered that and ruled it out.
Jun 12, 2009
C! C! C! Yes, absolutely!
Jun 12, 2009
I like B so much, but C is probably the best suited for an engagement party. All look great though.
Jun 12, 2009
Love, love, love C. Wear it!
Jun 12, 2009
C! Definitely C! If you can't get glammed up at your engagement party when can you?! I vote C, by the way.....
Jun 12, 2009
Without a doubt - C. It's definitely the "1 of 2 guests of honour" dress.
Do it.
Jun 12, 2009
My vote is for B - it is dressy, but not TOO dressy and still funky. The boots look great and would keep you warm, but sandals would probably work too. My second vote would be C, but it is a smidge over the top dressy. So...if that's the look you're going for, embrace it! If you want cas but smart and dressy, B.
Choice A is too casual. More a day, beach outfit.
Jun 12, 2009
C! It's a perfect engagement party dress, just like B is the perfect bachelorette whatever dress. A will look lovely when you wear it out to dinner on your honeymoon.
Jun 12, 2009
I love them all... my gut says C.
Jun 12, 2009
I think it depends on how fancy the party is going to be. If it's a casual affair, I'd go with A. I really like it. If it's fancier, go with C. Either way, you'll look lovely!
Jun 12, 2009
I vote for C. You can't be overdressed for your own engagement party, in my opinion!
Jun 12, 2009
Definitely C! It is perfect.
Jun 12, 2009
umm can i just interupt and say option D! yes option D. it's your freaking engagement party. once in a life time event. one of the only times you can justify going out and buying yourself a i normally wouldn't spend that kind of money but it's for my engagement party and i love it dress.
Jun 12, 2009
Pal! This was the sweetest blog post ever. I'm so happy to do this for you and so glad you're excited. It's going to be a humdinger of a Saturday night, and you crazy kids deserve no less.
Jun 12, 2009
Long time reader, first time poster, but I just had to weigh in on this one: C! It's appropriately elegant and casual, no matter how fancy the party. A looks too casual to me, and B too night-on-the-town.
Jun 12, 2009
My vote is for B! I think its the happy medium. But you will look adorable in all three!
Jun 12, 2009
C is my favorite!
Jun 12, 2009
I have A as well... my problem is that I find it to be a bit, um... sheer. So I usually wear it with leggings.
But, I love C. I think it's perfect!
Jun 12, 2009
Yup, C. I don't think any of these are too dressy - you're star of the show - but C is really perfect. And you know you're going to love it in the photos!
Jun 12, 2009
Not that you need another vote for C, but I'm going to put in my 2 cents and vote for that one. It's cute and classy, and I like it the best. Have fun!!
Jun 12, 2009
Hmm, I like all three, but I think B is my favorite. Don't worry about being too dressy -- YOU are the guest of honor! Well, Sean too, but if there's ever a time that you can wear whatever you want, this is it.
You could always casually mention to a couple friends that you'll be dressed on the fancy side so they'll dress accordingly. That's what I'd do. :)
Jun 12, 2009
Definitely C! It's so cute and the perfect look for an engagement party. The others are cute too but maybe for different events. Have a blast!
Jun 12, 2009
I would go for Choice C because 1) you don't get to wear it often enough, 2) it has long sleeves and might keep you warm, 3) it is very becoming on you, and 4) it is dressy and who cares if you are the dressiest person there! You're the one getting married and the party is in your honor so of course you should be the shining star!
Also I always overdress and I don't care. I just like to dress in what makes ME feel good about how I look. If that means wearing a cute black & white polka dot dress with pink sandals and pink jewelry to my sister-in-law's baby shower while everybody else showed up in slacks and wrap tops, then so be it. (Yes, that happened.)
Jun 12, 2009
I know everyone is saying C, but I'm totally for B on this one.
Like one of your commenters mentioned above, there are only so many times in your life you can wear white (or silver, in this case) without looking over-dressed. You're the BRIDE! for goodness sakes! I don't think there's anything wrong with wearing something that draws extra attention to this fact.
Plus, I feel like A is too casual (although really cute!) and it seems like you've worn C a couple times already.
One final thought: We're talking Michael Kors-Scores v. H&M. It's in the bag!
Jun 12, 2009
B!
Jun 12, 2009
B! Definitely, B.
Jun 12, 2009
B! It looks very Bride-y, but in a hip way, not a godzilla way.
Jun 12, 2009
I vote C -- there is no such thing as being over dressed for your own engagement party. And it isn't a formal dress, so no one will think you are coming in from an awards ceremony or anything.
B is definitely the bachelorette
A is adorable too, but I think it is the most versatile, you will have many chances to wear it.
Having friends that wonderful is special. Have fun!
Jun 12, 2009
C!
Jun 12, 2009
C! (although all three are lovely ... I allllmost voted B when you mentioned the strappy silver sandals which I WOULD LIKE TO SEE ALSO SO I CAN BE AN INFORMED VOTER. I digress. C it is!). Happy Engagement to YOU!
Jun 12, 2009
C for sure!
Jun 12, 2009
The third dress. The first is too casual, the second reads white and you already are wearing something white, but the third is just perfect.
Jun 12, 2009
C. Looks great. B...I think the dress is kind of shapeless and blah and the boots--well, I am not a boots in the summer kind of girl. If you went with B, put sandals on instead.
But choose C.
Jun 12, 2009
C!
A is too casual; B is too dressy and the boots don't work with the dress/season. Neither would photograph that well. C is a great middle choice, very classy, lovely.
Jun 12, 2009
I pick choice C.
Jun 12, 2009
I vote for C absolutely.
Jun 12, 2009
I vote C! It's so classy and elegant. Although I think B would work as well if you paired the dress with some cute strappy black heels. Something about the boots don't quite match for me.
But still, I vote C. :)
Jun 12, 2009
Dress C. It's amazing and looks amazing ON you. It's not too dressy for a 5 p.m. party. Plus you are the star of the show! So it's ok if you are the most dressed up!
Jun 12, 2009
C. Yup, C is the one.
B is a close 2nd, but I think that the boots distract from the dress.
Jun 12, 2009
I'm clearly not alone in preferring C. It's the only one that balances cuteness with a chic, cocktail-party, special-occasion vibe.
Jun 12, 2009
C! C! C!
It's the dress your children will gasp at seeing you wear in your photo albums one day, when you show them how young you and Dad were at your engagement party.
Jun 12, 2009
I vote for C. A is to summery. B looks like you are going to a concert with the boots! C is just perfect!
Jun 12, 2009
C !!!
Jun 12, 2009
I am going to join the screaming masses in voting for C because I think it's pretty and feminine and charming and all those things one would want to be at her engagement party. Also, I am all for wearing great dresses that you don't get enough chances to wear, and the other two options look like you'll find plenty more opportunities to wear them this summer.
I love the invitation!
Jun 12, 2009
Definitely C!
Jun 12, 2009
My vote is for number 2. It's cute and stylish without feeling overly formal. Plus the boots and black cardigan add a special kick of "hip"!
Jun 12, 2009
As possibly only the third male to cast a vote (there were only the other obvious posters of Brian and Simon) I have to go with B.
C is a lovely dress . . . but a tad on the frumpy side (at least from this distance/angle).
A is, well there is a reason that horizontal stripes are not the best option.
B is sharp, classy, a bit dressy but the cardigan balances that out and no way should you do the boots over the strappy silver sandals.
Jun 12, 2009
Definitely C. A isn't quite dressy enough, since you're the guest of honor. And while I like the dress in B, I'm not crazy about the black with it, though I don't really know why.
Jun 12, 2009
I'm sure you'd look lovely in all three choices, but seeing as how we're supposed to be helping with the decision-making, I vote for C. (Or B, sans boots.)
Jun 12, 2009
First time visiting/posting here and I get to judge outfits? What fun!
Like most, I am for C - it's lovely and feminine and special.
Also, if I ever find myself engaged may I send my friends to get pointers from your friends? They sound wonderful.
Congratulations!
Jun 12, 2009
Wow, I think Bill just called me frumpy AND fat!
Jun 12, 2009
i vote for B! and seriously i hope my friends can throw me just as awesome of an engagement party :)
Jun 12, 2009
I vote for choice C. My second choice would be B, but not with the knee high boots. They throw off the balance of the outfit.
Jun 12, 2009
even without looking at the other comments, first, it's C. Lovely.
Jun 12, 2009
I vote for C. It's classy and sophisticated (how one wants to feel when one is engaged), and has long sleeves to keep you warm-ish in the chilly SF air. Choice A, really, you could wear anytime this summer, and as you said you don't get to wear Choice C often enough. Have fun! When do we get to pick Sean's outfit?