Gone To See A Man About A Dog
In case you're wondering what I did in the Bahamas, there was a little of this:
And some of this:
And sometimes some of this too:
And now I've been back for almost a whole week and I still haven't unpacked, and tonight we're going down to San Diego for the three-day weekend and I haven't packed for that, and the thought just occured to me that hey, I could just take the unpacked suitcase from the Bahamas to San Diego with me! Roughly 80% of the contents would still be appropriate, right?---though only 30% would be clean---and I'm sure I could find a use for that conch shell I dragged back wrapped in tank tops to keep it from breaking. (Insert your own Lord of the Flies joke here.) (Or maybe you could just buy the t-shirt!)
We are at the point in the wedding planning where the Big Day is now only three and a half months away, where the weeks can almost be measured in single digits (well, alright, that one's a bit of a stretch, but still, THAT POINT IS FAST APPROACHING), and where every morning I wake up, heart hammering and brain buzzing, thinking "What do I have to do for the wedding today?" I am a girl who likes her to-do lists---who can only survive if she has her to-do lists---and my to-do lists for May would make you weep. This weekend, for instance, we have plans to attend:
* Three different catering tastings.
* Another session of pre-marital counseling with our vicar, in which I am fairly sure he is going to say I'm not allowed to have the two poems I've wanted read at my wedding since I was an earnest, geeked-out, first-year English student because they're not biblical enough (or at all, really.) (This one and this one, in case you're into that sort of thing. I've also always wanted this piece from Plato's Symposium, but at this point my wedding ceremony is going to be longer than a lunchtime visit to the DMV.)
* A meeting with a man in Oceanside who owns a turquoise 1955 Chevy, which we might borrow for the wedding, thus fulfilling all my turquoise classic car dreams, and wouldn't that be nice?
* Bed, Bath & Beyond to finally register. Or to finally register for things that are useful, unlike the six to eight panini makers we've got on the list at Crate & Barrel.
* A wholesale flower market to figure out whether doing all the flowers ourselves is feasible---and by "ourselves," I mean "me and my mother" not "me and Sean," because the idea of Sean sitting at the coffee table making delicate little bouquets just made me laugh so hard I think I pulled something in my neck---or whether taking on a floral challenge of that magnitude is just CRAZY TALK FOR CRAZY PEOPLE.
* And some sort of menswear shop to look at morning suits. Because huh, I guess there's going to be a groom in this wedding too.
Since I got back from the Bahamas, I have felt like I'm having one long, low-grade, silent panic attack. I get into elevators and walk down corridors and order turkey sandwiches like a normal person, sure, but the inside of my head is a roiling mess of plans and if you could slice it open like a dissected frog, you'd see a cross-section of are we going to get the invitations out on time oh god I still have to line all those envelopes and crap I need to call that caterer back with our tasting choices and what am I going to do now that my maid of honor is pregnant and won't fit into the dress I've chosen and I wonder if I need to start thinking about how I'm going to do my hair and making an appointment, and is professional makeup application necessary and why does it cost so much? and how are people going to get from the church to the house and is it weird that Air Vanuatu only sent us one confirmation for our flights and it's for Sean and not me, and SHIT MY GREEN CARD IS ABOUT TO EXPIRE WARNING WARNING EMERGENCY EMERGENCY GET THAT SORTED OUT NOW, but first just let me think about cake flavors and whether we're going to be able to float candles in the pool, and wait, what was I doing again?
Oh, I could go on. Trust me, I could go on. I won't, you'll be pleased to hear, but before I get back to my fretting---for fretting is what I do best, even better than making lists---just answer me this: why does no-one ever tell you it's going to be like this? I'm having a small, laid-back, mostly DIY-style wedding, and still the planning that's going into it is on par with some large-scale military operation. I know it's all about the marriage, and the wedding is just a party beforehand, but you still want it to be a fun party, right? But there's so much to be done, so much stuff, that I'm three steps away from sending out evites and opening up a bag of tortilla chips and some Trader Joe's salsa for people when they arrive.
Well, no, not really, I'd never do that. I mean, who am I kidding, I'd at least make it salsa from Whole Foods.
May 22, 2009
You lost me at "Still have to line envelopes"
Line? Envelopes? Wha?
May 22, 2009
Oh, so I bought these vintage maps on ebay that I'm using to line my invitation envelopes. I KNOW it's crazy, but I secretly love stuff like this, even though it stresses me out. I bring this on myself!
May 22, 2009
Jealousy is dripping from my body.
May 22, 2009
Third pic...why are you jumping into the ocean in a white skirt? Doesn't ocean jumping seem, well, not exactly "prudent behavior" when wearing white cotton?
Just sayin' ;o)
xox
May 22, 2009
I wasn't jumping in the ocean! I was sitting on a dock.
May 22, 2009
Holy shit, my wedding is a couple weeks before yours and your internal monologue practically sent me into a full blown panic attack.
May 22, 2009
Whoosh! Crisis avoided. ;o)
xox
May 22, 2009
Is it terribly bad that my pastry chef friend has already agreed to make my cake, and I'm STILL planning on having many cake tastings? I mean, a girl needs to know what kind of cake she likes, after all!
May 22, 2009
My aunt and I (sort of, okay, I should just say "my aunt," since I was busy flitting around, being obsessive compulsive about other details) did the flowers for my wedding, and it worked out just fine. We did the corsages and boutonnieres the day before and bouquets for my maid of honor and me the day of, and it was not a big deal. Doing it while trying to do food prep was ridiculous, but had we been doing only that and other normal wedding stuff, it would have been super easy.
You'll get everything done. It will be fine. Your day will be beautiful. Don't panic!
May 22, 2009
Congrats on the upcoming wedding!
My mom is a makeup artist, and the reason you want one is so you look good in the photos. Makeup that looks good to other people you can probably do yourself (depending on your skillz!), but makeup that will still be fabulous under the lights of a photographer is a different beast. Also, you want it to last beautifully all day, which is another thing a pro can ensure.
And that's also why it costs so much. It's a trained skill that takes a long time to become good at. Beware the bargain makeup artist. Check out the local photography/fashion scene for connections to makeup artists.
Good luck finding someone good!
May 22, 2009
Enjoyed reading the poems, and the piece from Plato's Symposium.
Oh, and I like the slippers too. :-)
May 22, 2009
We should have an envelope lining party! You provide the envelopes and glue sticks and we provide the takeout and prosecco. And: Finito!
May 22, 2009
The Ivy Crown is the BEST. THE BEST. How could he not allow it? How? I just don't... I can't go there. That poem is too beautiful to be denied. You can really do whatever you want, you know. It's not as though your vicar would get up in the middle of the ceremony and tackle your reader away from the podium, right? And if he does, well, your wedding just became the do-not-miss event of the year.
I am slogging through my own similar To-Do List Hell, only for a very different event, because how does one pack for an entire year? Sweet Pete. Wait, this was supposed to be about you. Don't worry! You'll get it all done, and you'll have a superbly fun wedding day. Yes.
May 22, 2009
This has nothing to do with anything, but, um, I'll also be in San Diego for the long weekend. Must be a popular destination! (Well, and your family lives there.)
May 22, 2009
We did our own flowers. My only bit of wisdom from the ordeal was to make sure you buy two dozen extra flowers. Just in case. So the groom doesn't have to go find some flowers in the exact same shade on the morning of the wedding. Not that that happened to us. Not at all.
May 22, 2009
It'll be fine! I say go for it yourself with the flowers; I did, and I was so pleased with how they turned out! Of course, our centerpieces were not fresh flowers, so I could spread the making of those out over a few weeks, but I did everything else (with a massive post-bachelorette party hangover) and it was actually relaxing to have something to do and not spend the day fretting. Of course, I also made all the invites, hand calligraphed the addys, and made the programs, so I think my inner Martha Stewart burst from my abdomen (just like in the movie Alien!) to the horror of my family during the wedding planning.
May 22, 2009
my sister has been engaged for over 3 years with no wedding date. She and her fiance decided to buy a house and suddenly decided they should get married all at the same time. House to close at the end of June. Wedding - July 3rd. I am constantly having to talk her off the ledge after she sends me emails and text messages saying things like "I'm just going to elope" and "There is no such thing as a simple wedding". And she is having a very simple wedding with under 50 guests. I cannot imagine what her internal dialogue looks like because I know the external one (to me at least) is panicky enough. It is part of the rite of passage from fiancee to bride to wife I guess.
May 22, 2009
I am also having a smallish (100 person), laidback, mostly DIY affair, a few weeks after yours, and I also am at the point where I have to-do lists CONSTANTLY running through my head. My latest panic attack - hiring a shuttle to drive our drunk guests to and from the wedding is going to cost us HOW MUCH???
I love doing it, I do, and I too just want it to be a super fun party, but good lord, the things to be done!
May 22, 2009
It's normal and you'll survive and I think it's going to rock, actually. My own wedding was very simple and DIY and I could not believe all the details that went into it! It was a fun party though.
And it's your wedding--have the poems! They are both beautiful and appropriate.
And in that last picture, are you jumping into the water fully clothed? And if so, why?
May 22, 2009
I'm sort of like you -- at least, I think, I shouldn't go assuming I know facets of your personality -- but I enjoy stress in a very strange way. I like when my plate is overflowing. When I've nothing to do but take in a Hills marathon, I sort of get indifferent with life. I liked planning my wedding even though I had 99 balls in the air on any given day, but I also needed to vent and be verbally stressed out often during that phase. The stress is a great motivator for me. In the end, I looked back on the planning as oddly enjoyable even though I would have bemoaned the process if you had asked me in the thick of it.
We made our own invitations and it was unbelievably stupid of us because oh the fights that were brought on by those invitations, but I don't ever cringe when I think back on making them. Instead I think, "Man, I should really throw more parties so I can make more invitations." LIKE A CRAZY PERSON.
And for the advice you absolutely didn't ask for: it all works out -- somehow, I don't know how, perhaps magic wedding fairies just take over at some point without the bride ever realizing -- and your wedding will be as magical and wonderful and perfect as you hope. It's just how it is, thank god.
May 22, 2009
phew. this is why we had a city hall wedding and am i ever glad. your internal monolog made my heart pound.
that said, i'm sure you are enjoying this on some level -because otherwise why would you do it? and that everything will be perfect. and you will be beautiful and happy.
(i think non-religious poems are allowed, unless you guys are part of a strange cult... which you're not)
May 22, 2009
I love both of those poems, especially the e. e. cummings. If you think they're both going to be rejected, maybe lead with a pair of 100% not acceptable poems (I've got a few Sandburg poems in mind that would do the trick), or maybe part of Song of Songs (that's biblical, but obviously not wedding-friendly) and then when he shoots those down whip out the ones you REALLY want?
Or... just stick to your guns. My cousin had a wedding in this gorgeous Catholic church with a huge organ and the priest insisted on having organ music (ick! for a wedding?) but she kept saying no, wore him down, and had some lovely piano music instead.
May 22, 2009
The only things that scare me from that list are the air line confirmation and the green card. You do your hair and makeup everyday, so push come to shove - you can handle it. You can just say screw it and call the cater and and tell her to do what she thinks is nice within your budget, and flowers are fun; but the plane ticket and proper documentation is a must.
May 22, 2009
1. I love love love the Ivy Crown.
2. I would tell you that it will all come together in the end, but that is probably like people telling me to relax and I will get pregnant, so I am going to give you permission to continue to freak the f out.
3. But really, it's going to be awesome.
4. I wish I was the kind of person with the dedication to line envelopes. Brilliant touch.
May 22, 2009
I'm SO there... three and a half WEEKS for me...
Here's one more thing to add to your list of things to consider.... "Follies" by Goldbug Studios. The artist is named Ashley Carter and makes these vintage paper caketoppers. SO pretty. I got her to customize one with two birds in a nest. Don't know if it'll go with your globe theme, but I thought they seemed like you :)
May 22, 2009
so, i know you have a photographer since you didn't list it, but in case not, have you seen junshien.com? gorgeous.
hang in there and enjoy the heck out of your day. something tells me it's going to be a phenomenal party!!!
May 22, 2009
OK, could you take a deep breath and allow a piece of free internet big-sister advice?
Twenty years from now you won't care about envelopes, appies, or even flowers. Sounds weird when you're in the thick of planning I know. What will matter: 1) you picked the right guy, and look (!) there is he is, 20 years older! 2) your family will be there 3) you have some great photos that your kids will love looking at.
Honestly, that's about it. So relax. You've got the main stuff sorted. It will be a perfectly lovely beautiful important day. Enjoy it!
May 23, 2009
The poems are beautiful. I'm not sure where in the ceremony you are going to use them but if you're not using them to replace readings or the religious parts of the ceremony why would he object?
May 23, 2009
1. I love that colour nail varnish.
2. I can't even imagine the mega list you have going on right now. I'm a fan of the list making myself. I usually make lists to avoid having to do the things on them.
I LOVE the idea of lining your envelopes, too.
May 23, 2009
I'm currently printing my cousin's invites (100+) for her wedding on the first of August... it's fun but at the same time I'm glad it's not for my own. Stresssssss.
I helped with a wedding last November that, instead of fresh flower centerpieces, used the site's candlesticks and just scattered fresh rose petals around them on the tabletops. It looked great, was much cheaper, and took about 30 min to set up. Plus, no vases to take home at the end of hte night!
Where did you get that adorable white cotton dress with the wee eyelets? Very cute.
May 24, 2009
I'm seconding the recommendation to buy extra flowers, and maybe make and extra boutonniere and/or corsage too. I did my own flowers the day before the wedding, and they froze in the refrigerator! Even on the bottom shelf! We could salvage them, but it was not ideal.
May 24, 2009
Abby recited that ee cummings poem to Luka in their wedding on ER. (I am a little disturbed that I know this.) But! It was perfect for the occasion, as it will be for yours. I'm sure your vicar will come around.
May 25, 2009
Yikes! I got engaged in January and we are waiting until Summer 2010. I just finished my credential and am looking for a job, and we are on one income, so we figured a year with two incomes would be ideal. I have no idea where to start though! It stresses me out just to think about starting to plan. We want something small on a private beach near Santa Cruz or the likes, but the idea of planning a wedding and honeymoon without a budget is a no go. I am also clueless on wedding etiquette and wedding parties. Sigh. I love reading about your adventures in to do lists because I can live vicariously through your stress. Is that wrong? :)
May 26, 2009
My current wedding to-do list is about the length of my right arm... We're currently 7 weeks out from the wedding, and I'm juuuuust starting to freak out a bit about alllll the stuff that is left to do. I mean WHO KNEW that choosing music for the processional would be SUCH A PAIN IN THE ASS? Oddly enough, that has been the biggest stressor for me thus far (even including making all our own invites, and deciding to BAKE MY OWN WEDDING FAVORS, WTF WAS I THINKING). I just know - somewhere, deep in my brain - that it will all get done, and it will all be fabulous. And hello, I'll be married to my best friend at the end of it all! Awesome!
For the record, I realize that I STILL have not emailed you back about the vendor recommendations we talked about like 2 months ago... but I probably don't have to give you the litany of excuses regarding why I haven't had time, right? Right ;)
May 26, 2009
I was there a year and a half ago - I swear, wedding planning took up so much brain space that I actually got dumber during planning because I didn't have enough room to think about anything else.
However, now I have lots of room so I can tell you what to do:
Yes, you'll get the invites out on time. Everyone already got a save the date anyway so don't worry. If some get lined and some don't, oh well.
If it's easier, e-mail the caterer rather than calling. That way you have a record of what was said anyway.
How far along will your maid of honor be? At 5 months, I could probably still wear a normal dress in a size or two up - it would just need to be altered. Otherwise, get an empire waist in the same color/fabric from the same designer and no one will care.
I would recommend professional makeup and hair if you can afford it - it lasts longer, looks amazing, and they can cover up that last-minute blemish way better than you could.
Put directions to/from the church on your website and/or on an invite insert if you can, or rent a shuttle.
Have Sean follow up with the airline.
Register later; people won't buy your gifts until a month out at most.
Personally, I could never have done flowers myself, but try practicing. You can always have a florist do the personal flowers and do the centerpieces yourself.
Go to Men's Wearhouse for the morning suit.
Have fun at the tastings, and good luck with the car! And take care of that green card thing.
May 26, 2009
CRAZY!!!! I just saw you and Sean on both my flights. Friday to San Diego and this morning to San Francisco.
May 27, 2009
I protested my parents when they insisted on hair and make-up people with us all day - I just didn't think it was necessary - but it was the BEST decision they made! It was so comforting knowing that they were looking out for me the whole day (until dinner), for each picture. I loved it - and you're only the bride once, so embrace it!! Also, my MOH was also pregnant. She luckily ordered a size up just in case, but I'm sure it will work out!