I WOULDN'T:

* Start using a new moisturizer three days before the conference. I hate you Mario Badescu Bee Pollen Night Cream! Why are you continuing to make me break out like a teenage boy? (Come back to me, Mario Badescu Seaweed Night Cream! All is forgiven! You don't actually smell that funny after all, I swear!)

* Talk about crack whores in my panel. Do I never learn?

* Worry so much about my panel in the first place. All that worrying for nothing! Turns out all you have to do to make people laugh is mention crack whores anyway.

* Leave my pedicure to the last minute. Not only did I end up picking a color that turned out to be way more Pepto-Bismol pink in natural light than I'd bargained for, but worse, I was barely able to concentrate on Us Weekly's groundbreaking, in-the-trenches coverage of Reese and Jake's Family Vacation! because I was so busy watching the hands on the clock in an anxious panic.

BUT I WOULD:

* Swallow my shyness and actually go and say hello to the people I really wanted to meet, especially the one person I really, really wanted to meet and yet couldn't bring myself to even make eye contact with, despite the fact that she was standing two inches to my left at a party.

* Give, like, more than one person my (newly-designed!) business card.  I now have a box of 499 sitting on my desk at home and no occasion to use them. Perhaps I'll start writing my grocery lists on the back of them---I'll have to write really, really small---or maybe I'll stick stamps on them and send them out as tiny postcards, with one word (HELLO!) on the back.

* Definitely take my boyfriend with me again to the cocktail parties. Fifty bucks to have a hand-holder, conversation starter, and security blanket by your side all night? Best fifty bucks I ever spent. 

* Remember not to leave said boyfriend alone with Whoorl for any extended amount of time, given that he seemed rather enamored of her by the end of the weekend. "Her hair!" he exclaimed in the car yesterday on the way home from Target. "It's just so perfect! It's like a really well-made white button-down shirt from Banana Republic. So classic and timeless!"

* Stop after the first cheeseburger. No, really stop.

Thumbs up for cheeseburgers! 

What about you? Any memos you want to send yourself for next year? Let's pull this old post up 361 days from now and open it like a time capsule and pledge to do the things we said we would or wouldn't do at BlogHer 2009. Oh, how we'll laugh at our conviction.

Thumbs up for BlogHer! Thumbs up for parties in the furniture department at Macy's on a Saturday night!